Lies! All lies!

[pinkFlames]

Jseal is my mailman.

[jseal]

... ah, if only I could be your male man. :wish:



My bother is not preparing to retire in June.

[dicksbro]

To help pay our national debt, internet posting will be taxed at a dollar per post. :yikes:

[jseal]

... therefore, I am not in serious trouble!

[Pita]

I haven't been on the games lately because I've been held hostage as a sex slave and they just let me up to breathe. :wink:

[dicksbro]

I wasn't the least bit glad to see you back in the games ... :slurp:

[dicksbro]

I don't have a doctor's appointment in about 3 1/2 hours.

[jseal]

I just came back inside from shoveling snow!

[dicksbro]

I didn't, The ice was so thick after the temp dipped below 90, that I was afraid I'd slip and fall.

[jseal]

LOL! I'm driving up to dig you out! :car:

[dicksbro]

Be careful so you don't run into the caribou making their annual migration through central Illinois.

[jseal]

I must first purchase some anti-freeze so that the car will start reliably.

[dicksbro]

We've had so much rain, I bought a canoe so I can go from our front door to our car.

[pinkFlames]

I never neglect my teeth.

[dicksbro]

We're not home from out trip to Indianapolis,

[gekkogecko]

I'm really hoping the current 'isolated' T-storm zaps my 'puter!

[dicksbro]

I'm not going to pack anything for our two night trip over to Allerton Park.

[pinkFlames]

My hands are nice and warm.

[jseal]

I love my weekend chores.

[pinkFlames]

I love having teeth pulled.

[dicksbro]

Everyone in our town will be going nude today. There's a birthday going on and we've all been asked to dress in our birthday suits. :boink:

[jseal]

No weird, late-on-Friday-afternoon problems this week! No siree!

[dicksbro]

I sure hate to see a day without rain.

[pinkFlames]

I'm so happy that the wind blew my tree over.

[dicksbro]

I'll sure be glad when our visit is over and I can get home and mow our back lawn.

[jseal]

We will skip breakfast today.

[dicksbro]

What we need is a good earthquake to get things moving. :)

[pinkFlames]

The grey cloudy sky really brightens everything up.

[dicksbro]

When we go to a movie, I try to keep my eyes closed so I don't get butter from the popcorn in them.

[jseal]

Rehabbing a house is neither noisy nor dirty.

[dicksbro]

I just hope the ice melts off the driveway and streets before I have to go out.

[pinkFlames]

I never drink wine.

[lafehubert]

I have 6 girlfriends who all co-habitate with me.

[dicksbro]

I just traded in my old Chrysler for a new Ferrari.

[pinkFlames]

I'm one of Lafehubert's girlfriends.

[lafehubert]

My dick is so long I can have sex with girls across the room from me.
:sex:
:shock:

[pinkFlames]

I moved out of my house and into a tepee.

[dicksbro]

You know how you puncture a tire and it goes flat ... well, I designed a square tire that, when you puncture it, it goes round. :)

[lafehubert]

I, like Merlin, travel backwards through time.

[dicksbro]

A new law says that the year will only have three seasons now ... Spring, Summer and Fall.

[pinkFlames]

I cooked up the cat tonight and fed him to the mouse.

[lafehubert]

I take showers with my clothes on because the washers broke.

[dicksbro]

Today is "Everyone's a Nudist" in our town and we all have to walk around nude all day.

[pinkFlames]

I hate Vegemite.

[lafehubert]

I wanna get my sac pierced so many times I have trouble getting through metal detectors.

:shock:

[dicksbro]

I'm working 60-80 hours a week at a fast food restaurant.

[lafehubert]

My other vehicle is the Millenium Falcon.

[dicksbro]

For lunch, I usually have a light lunch such as an inch thick prime rib, twice-baked potatoes with butter, onions and chives, and fresh green veggies ... along with a Banana's Foster for dessert. I keep it light so I won't spoil my supper. :)

[lafehubert]

I despise cooking.

[dicksbro]

We don't enjoy being out in nature on nice days.

[lafehubert]

My phone number starts with 911...

[dicksbro]

I leave my fly open whenever I go out.

[lafehubert]

My middle name is Rosemary

[dicksbro]

I hate all these Smut Games. :(





:D

[lafehubert]

You guys are stupid idiots. :withstupi



:tongue:

[jseal]

My sex life is non-existent.

[lafehubert]

I've had sex with ALL the pixie ladies.

[dicksbro]

I've always told the truth in this forum. :boink:

[pinkFlames]

My keyboard has just starting typing by itself.

[sodaklostsoul]

I didn't do it!

[lafehubert]

Yes, you did, and I can prove it.

[dicksbro]

I know, I was watching.

[lafehubert]

I have telekenetic powers.

[pinkFlames]

I'm levitating as I write this.

[dicksbro]

I'm getting ready to take a ride up to the International Space Station.

[lafehubert]

I would have taken you, db, but my spaceship is in the shop.

[dicksbro]

Thanks, lafehubert. I just went ahead and teleported up. :boink:

[lafehubert]

My nuts are so small, you could step on them and they would slip into the tread of your shoes and not get hurt.

[dicksbro]

I always like the low-hanging urinals in restrooms so I don't have to lift it so far. :D

[jseal]

I love weekend chores.

[dicksbro]

I'm think of starting up a new streetcar business.

[jseal]

I returned from the Car Wash bone dry.

[lafehubert]

My best friend is a plague carrying rat.

[dicksbro]

What this world needs is a good ice age.

[pinkFlames]

The past two weeks have been the happiest of my life.

[lafehubert]

I have diphallasparatus.

[dicksbro]

I couldn't decide on what color I liked best, so I had the car salesman just gift wrap the whole lot for me. :boink:

[jseal]

The more weekend chores, the better!

[dicksbro]

Our state has passed a new law that only spring and fall seasons will be permitted so that we no longer have to put up with excessive heat or cold. :)

[pinkFlames]

I come from such a well adjusted family.

[dicksbro]

I hate it when things go right.

[pinkFlames]

I'm very well poised and would never do something as stupid as falling off a step.

[dicksbro]

I never have weird dreams at night.

[pinkFlames]

My family is always honest.

[dicksbro]

In my spare time, I race formula 1 race cars.

[pinkFlames]

I don't eat bread.

[dicksbro]

We're always late to everything we go to.

[Vicious Tease]

I'm not getting sleepy.

[pinkFlames]

I never lose my temper

[Vicious Tease]

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow.

[dicksbro]

We're not going into Peoria this morning to the Irish Festival being held on the riverfront.

[pinkFlames]

I'm concreting my backyard so no birds will want to visit.

[dicksbro]

I think I'm going to have a steak and eggs breakfast ... going easy on the eggs.

[pinkFlames]

I hate the smelling of baking bread. :eew:

[dicksbro]

I love the "farm-fresh" aroma driving along a country road near a pig farm.

[pinkFlames]

I love it when the cat persists at pulling the screen door opened and closed.

[dicksbro]

I sure hope we get a violent hail storm soon so that I can add texture to my car.

[jseal]

Fundraisers are so much fun!

[pinkFlames]

I sure hope we get a violent hail storm soon so that I can add texture to my car.

Oh yeah! Cars look so much better with that dimpled effect that only hail stones can make. :nod:

[dicksbro]

Plus, I love that the dimples have the added advantage of not showing those silly dents cars always seem to get.

[jseal]

I'd like to see a few more political footsoldiers knock on my door each day.

[dicksbro]

Isn't it wonderful knowing we've got just under two months of political ads to look forward to ... and then two more years of blaming everyone else for whatever problems we face. :(

[jseal]

I plan to purchase a Segway to run a delivery service.

[dicksbro]

I don't like Smut Games very much.

[WildIrish]

I was recently offered a 9 year contract with the Yankees for a cumulative $250,000,000 plus one unicorn.

[dicksbro]

You were too late ... I got that job and since I had a clause in the contract allowing me to quit at any time with full pay, I resigned the next day. :boink:

[WildIrish]

I read about that in the NY Times. "Multi-Millionaire Rookie Seen Riding Naked On A Unicorn Through Times Square".

[dicksbro]

Yeah, how about that. Amazing how they picked up on that story, isn't it?

[WildIrish]

It was the talk of the town. You even made it up on the jumbo-tron!

I saw it from the M & M store. I was there pitching my new idea for tie dyed M & M's. They loved it. Gonna call it "Blossom Bites"

[dicksbro]

I just saw a commercial on TV for those ... you know, little round candies dancing around singing, "BITE ME! BITE ME! BITE ME ON MY BLOSSOM!"

[WildIrish]

And I'd never use the royalties to fund a trip. Especially a 1,243 mile trip. And it wouldn't be southbound. Nope. No sir. Not at all.

[dicksbro]

I think it's going to be fun tonight with winds gusting up to 50 MPH or so. With a nice breeze like that, I'm thinking I'll finally get to go out and fly my 47 pound kite.

[WildIrish]

I hate my new Trump cup. I don't even have it sitting in a place of honor on my desk.


And my boss hasn't even said "That's going to inspire you to leave me!". :roflmao:

[dicksbro]

I'm trying to only go places that are "down wind" today so I won't have to turn the car's engine on. :boink:

[WildIrish]

I didn't convince my youngest son that Thursdays were awesome..."because it's Friday Eve!!!" :D

[Fangtasia]

I'm really not listening to Elvis songs *L*

[WildIrish]

That's not very funny.



Its not absolutely hysterical either.

[dicksbro]

I always try to get hysterical over things because it shows I am involved.

[Fangtasia]

I am not in the least horny :D

[dicksbro]

I'm not. I just spent the last 30-hours in a marathon love fest.

[Fangtasia]

A 30 hour lovefest...OMG that sound like a horrible thing to endure!

[dicksbro]

I'm thinking of buying a home on the Riviera and another one in the mountains of Colorado. I wonder if I need one in the northeast, too? :shrug:

[WildIrish]

The housing prices are quite reasonable up here. But I'd never consider leaving.

[dicksbro]

The election's been put off until tomorrow ... or next week ... whichever comes first. :spin:

[WildIrish]

The warm weather is back, and I actually enjoyed walking across the parking lot to work today!

[dicksbro]

We live on the south side of our town and it's much warmer here because we're at least 2 or 3 miles nearer the equator. :boink:

[jseal]

I did not blow off some of my weekend chores. :D

[pinkFlames]

I've had a nice week.

[dicksbro]

I was sure thrilled to see the cold weather reach us yesterday.

[jseal]

Sheesh! Its nice and warm here!

[dicksbro]

I don't think these Smut Games are much fun.

[dicksbro]

I'm sure glad it's gotten cold.

[pinkFlames]

I'm looking forward to a long hot summer.

[dicksbro]

Did you see where N. Korea has decided to get rid of it's military and, instead, become a peaceful state focusing on meditation and doing good works for all mankind?

[jseal]

The house is noisier now that the kinder have left.

[dicksbro]

We're trying to freeze all that 2" of rain we got in order to replace the snow that melted the last two days.

[pinkFlames]

I had so much fun breaking up kid's fights this evening.

[Fangtasia]

^^^That is a terribly enjoyable experience, i thoroughly loved having to do the same today

[pinkFlames]

It's a very still night.

[dicksbro]

I'm sure glad I won the lottery this week.

[gekkogecko]

I felt so much better the other day when I had vomiting & diarrhea than I do now when they're over.

[dicksbro]

I hope Mother Nature delays spring until July or August and then keeps it short so we can get right back to winter.

[Pita]

Throwing my back out has been so much fun, I'm going to do it all over again this week.

[dicksbro]

I just love all these medical commercials that promise you relief from a headache if you don't mind dying of the side effects.

[jseal]

I dislike music.

[txgrneyes]

I really wished I didn't come back here....it is so boring.

[dicksbro]

I know what you mean. I hardly ever post in the Smut Games forum.

[jseal]

The Gnostics had no interesting interpretations of scripture.

[dicksbro]

I think this the week that Lilith is going to treat everyone to prime rib dinners.

[dicksbro]

The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling!

[dicksbro]

The snow is falling at a rate of 4" an hour with an expected total of more than 7 feet.












(Either that or a heavy frost)

[pinkFlames]

It's so cold I've got the heater on and I'm wrapped up in a fluffy blanket.

[dicksbro]

2AM ... I wonder if it's too early to start playing my drums in the backyard?

[dicksbro]

I think I'll plant some spring flowers today.

[jseal]

Accounts Receivable is a riveting subject!

[pinkFlames]

I have enough money in my bank to buy a yacht.

[jseal]

Well, if you don't, I could lend it to you.

[pinkFlames]

I think you should buy yourself a yacht so we can have fun racing against each other.

[gekkogecko]

I have no sympathy for shadowsfate.

[jseal]

It did not snow here last night.

[dicksbro]

Plans are to build a new 2-mile high skyscraper right here in Peoria. It'll be called the "Prarie Pillar" and feature and observatory at the very top. :boink:

[lafehubert]

I went 50 rounds with Mike Tyson. I would have won, but after I knocked him out I bit both of his ears off.

:bite:

[dicksbro]

I just received my certified check for several thousand dollars for winning the
"Are you the Winner" game here in the Smut Games. :line:

[jseal]

Dearsweet and Johnny are not both sick!

[dicksbro]

(Not a lie ... sorry to hear that, jseal! Hope you get well soon.)

I seldom post at Pixies.

[jseal]

My daughter did not just come home with more new clothes!

[pinkFlames]

My desk is always clutter free.

[dicksbro]

I'm planning on going swimming in the Illinois River today.

[lafehubert]

Everyone knows the Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything is Forty-two.

I know the Ultimate Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything.

But if I tell you; you would die, and the Question would change.

:yikes:

[pinkFlames]

I'm having a great day with no embarassing mishaps.

[dicksbro]

I'm going to take a bath in after shave lotion. :yikes:

[jseal]

I miss winter.

[dicksbro]

I'm sure anxious for the tornado season to get here.

[pinkFlames]

I never catch colds.

[dicksbro]

I think I'll do my 20-mile run this morning before breakfast.

[dicksbro]

I think there's been something like 2340382309438204832 posts made to this very thread since I last posted on 3/25/2011. It's too bad they got washed away by that tusnami that hit Japan. :(

[dicksbro]

I love these cold, wet mornings.

[jseal]

Preparing for having everyone over for the Eaqster Feast is trivial.

[dicksbro]

We hide the hens ... for the eggs that keep on giving.

[jseal]

The hose is very noisy before the rest of the family gets up.

[dicksbro]

I didn't eat enough last night. :(

[GusAspar]

Another sunny day - :mad: - what a bore!

[pinkFlames]

I'm not trying to type with a fuzzy glove on one hand.

[Pita]

I have never been so miserable in all my life.

[dicksbro]

I don't have anything to do today.

[jseal]

I think I'll take the day off.

[Pita]

Planning my wedding has got to be the lamest thing I've ever done!

[dicksbro]

I think I'm going to enlist in the Marines today.

[Pita]

I always wanted to shave my head and become a Marine.

[dicksbro]

I like to run the tub full of hot water so that when I dump in a couple of bags of ice ... the water won't get too cold.

[jseal]

I've NEVER wanted to shave TinglingTess! :hot:

[Pita]

Jseal's post did NOT make me tingle!

[jseal]

I am not at all happy about that!

[dicksbro]

I'm writing a new song ... "Bare Pubes Bumping in the Night."

[jseal]

Too many people post at Pixies Place these days.

[dicksbro]

We're not going over to Indianapolis this morning.

[jseal]

Our hoseguest didn't have an accident on the living room rug. :(

[dicksbro]

I just love seeing all the pretty lacy leaves that the Japanese beetles create.

[PantyFanatic]

I'm so happy this holiday is in the 90F+ (33C+). http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-fc/sweat.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)

[gekkogecko]

No point in celebrating, nobody pays attention to it.

[dicksbro]

Peoria keeps trying to blow the day away with this huge fireworks display each year.

[jseal]

I wish I had more chores.

[dicksbro]

I was not impressed when they announced that this year, Peoria's fireworks display was the largest in the state (Chicago did not have theirs because of budget problems) and the largest ever outside of Chcicago.

[jseal]

Still no rain.

[dicksbro]

I hate walks in the park early in the morning when it's still half-way cool.

[jseal]

I'm not logged in at the car dealership. :)

[Fangtasia]

I truely detest photography!

[dicksbro]

Butterflies are disgusting little insects.

[Fangtasia]

I am totally not enjoying delving into the Pixies archives

[dicksbro]

Pixies Place always seems so boring and the Pixies are soooooo unfriendly.

[jseal]

The earthquake was hardly noticed.

[dicksbro]

I heard the Washington Monument was quoted as saying, "I'm all cracked up."

[jseal]

The White house has assigned responsibility for the earthquake on “the Bush Fault”.

[dicksbro]

LOL! I just said that on the last thread I posted on. :D

[jseal]

I have not taken advantage of this beautiful day to take off from work. :D

[gekkogecko]

I'm looking forward to the next round of Republican persidential candidate debates.

[dicksbro]

I'm kinda excited about the whole political process. Where else can you watch cheats, gangsters, and perverts performing out in the open without any sense of shame?

[Pita]

I think throwing out ones back is an excellent way to get a few days off from work.

[dicksbro]

It's wonderful when the temperature soars into the 90s with high humidity.

[jseal]

I wish I didn't have off from work on Monday.

[Pita]

I wish Monday wasn't time and half. I hate making extra money for doing the same old job.

[dicksbro]

I was going to start making money ... :) ...






... then I found out that was illegal. :(





:D

[pinkFlames]

Damn!! Now I'm going to have to destroy my "cash stash".

[dicksbro]

I already did. Hated to, though. The three-dollar bills I was making really looked neat. :)

[jseal]

I'vs completed all my weekend chores!

:rolleyes:

[dicksbro]

I don't think we'll even try to remember 9/11.

[dicksbro]

I just heard the forecast and there'll be no winter this year here in the good ol' USA. :)

[jseal]

I didn't enjoy watching the Oriole's 8-3 win last night.

[dicksbro]

But wasn't it great that the Raven's lost?

[pinkFlames]

I'm glad my house is cold, I wouldn't want to sit around wearing next to nothing.

[dicksbro]

I never get up before 10AM.

[jseal]

The Euro crisi in Europe is way overblown.

[pinkFlames]

I'm glad my daughter is running around the house and arguing with the kid from across the road.

[dicksbro]

I had forgotten how wonderful the arguing of little children can be.

[pinkFlames]

I had forgotten how wonderful the arguing of little children can be.

Just so you can relive the joyful experience I've send the darlings over you first thing this morning. Enjoy! :thumbs:

[dicksbro]

You can probably imagine the joyful celebration we had as we awaited their arrival. BTW, if they get there and no one is home at the moment, you may want to take them out for ice cream. :)

[pinkFlames]

The children don't like ice cream, might have to satisfy their hunger with a big bowl of Brussels Sprouts each.

[gekkogecko]

It's so sunny & warm out today. Might have to use sunscreen just to go out & get the mail.

[dicksbro]

We're all anxious for the heavy snow they've predicted for today.

[pinkFlames]

That's funny, it's been snowing here today, too. :)

[dicksbro]

Ya' know, if we went on daylight savings savings savings time ... it'd be yesterday. :spin:

[pinkFlames]

I love cloudy days because they lift my mood.

[dicksbro]

The beautiful weather we're having sure makes a person depressed.

[pinkFlames]

I live in a neighbourhood where everyone gets along well and never argues.

[dicksbro]

I'm writing in Lilith to be our next President. :boink:

[dicksbro]

I wouldn't ever post twice in a row.

[pinkFlames]

My daughter jumped out of bed with loads of energy and went to school early this morning.

[dicksbro]

Our kids were always thrilled to wake up knowing it was a school day.

[jseal]

I am eagerly awaiting more political debates!

[dicksbro]

I can hardly wait for the "round the clock campaign commercials."