Lies! All lies!

[osuche]

I have absolutely no craving to spend the rest of the day goofing off, which is why it's safe for me to be here. :p

[dicksbro]

I'm not yawning.

[IowaMan]

My birthday is just around the corner and I'd hate it if Miss-Honey-Bee sent me a birthday wish such as she did for 1nutworld. :hot:

[jseal]

I am not hungry!

[IowaMan]

I love it when something takes me completely off guard.

[jseal]

I am not lookin forward with glee to an upcoming long weekend.

[mara]

I'm dreading St. Patricks Day--getting together with my friends and drinking beer at the pub. Sounds so lame.

[IowaMan]

Since I didn't get laid in 2006 I get a $2,500 deduction on my income taxes.

[jseal]

I do not need a nap in the worst possible way!

[smithy020]

my head does not hurt!

oh and i'm not at all gutted my xbox 360 is busted and i'm still waiting to get it picked up to be fixed!!! Damn Microsoft!!

[IowaMan]

While sitting out in my backyard thumbing through the new issue of Playboy, Hugh Hefner dropped in and let me make love to four of his lovely Playmates.

[1nutworld]

I absolutly hate seeing Leigh post new pictures here!

[IowaMan]

I'm not wanting to go to bed but am wide the hell awake. :hair:

[dicksbro]

My shoulder doesn't hurt, but my teeth itch.

[IowaMan]

I didn't just try to reply to a PM but had it rejected because there wasn't room in the other Pixies' box. (So to speak.)

[jseal]

I hated it when the meeting was canceled. :)

[mara]

I am elated that my babysitter has cancelled for St. Paddy's Day.

[dicksbro]

I plan to celebrate St. Patrick's Day with the traditional saki and sushi dinner.

[IowaMan]

I wouldn't rather be driving up Pacific Coast Highway on my way to dinner in Monterey.

[dicksbro]

I'm glad it's turned much cooler today.

[lusty1]

There's nothing that I like better than a good bout of insomnia!

[mara]

I love starting my day with a stupid argument with my SO.

[IowaMan]

I didn't start to get a little bit turned on today when a very attractive, professional lady held my hand a bit earlier.

[lusty1]

I hate getting and sending PMs here at Pixies!

[IowaMan]

I cook fried chicken so much better than my mom that it's not even funny.

[ReaperWoman]

Johnny Depp's been back on the phone asking when I'm going to get the Pixies Barbados meeting house up and running, but I told him that when it is sorted, he cant just waltz in there. He has to prove he's really a Pixie. So he sent me a PM tonight from his Pixie account. That's right, Johnny Depp is a Pixie!

[IowaMan]

Not long after I was born, the head nurse told my mom that she'd "better leave this one alone." She could tell right away that I was bad to the bone.

[ReaperWoman]

^^^^ is "bad to the bone"

[IowaMan]

I am going to be the next President of the United States.

[dicksbro]

I always have a bad boner.

[IowaMan]

I have a beard that is 5 feet long.

[dicksbro]

I'm expecting a whole day of passionate lovemaking.

[jseal]

I ma not enjoying a long weekend.

[smithy020]

i totally loved getting up at 4am for the 3 day in a row!

[IowaMan]

I plan on drowing myself in a vat of green beer tomorrow.

[mara]

I hate long kisses in the dark.

[IowaMan]

Ronald McDonald is my father.

[dicksbro]

Today is "Shop in the Nude Day" in our town.

[lusty1]

Nobody ever wears clothes where I live.

[mara]

I'm so glad it's snowing here and my SO will be plowing all day.

[cavegirl]

It's just so great to feel really depressed at the weekend! I love it so much I can hardly bare to breathe!

[IowaMan]

I glued a shamrock to the end of my penis and dipped it in a mug of green beer today.

[dicksbro]

We're not going out for an Irish supper with our daughter and son-in-law from Peoria this evening.

[IowaMan]

Everyday after my morning smut games session I go around my block with a pair of panties on my head and my pecker hanging out yelling at the top of my lungs, "I'm the town pervert!"

[Pita]

I get so sick and tired of IowaMan steeling my panties and prancing about with his huge pecker flapping in the wind.

[IowaMan]

I hate having Tess right above me like this.

[lusty1]

I hate reading the Pixies posts in the morning!

[IowaMan]

I have floppy ears like a hound dog.

[dicksbro]

I ate far too much for lunch.

[Pita]

I had a lousy, boring day and hope to never have another one like it!!

[IowaMan]

My neighbor has a giant gorilla that mows her yard.

[dicksbro]

We send our pet birds to poop on the cars of people we don't like.

[IowaMan]

I'm going to stand naked on main street today and offer my man whore services for $5 a shot. :sex:

[ReaperWoman]

I'd never be interested in that^^^ offer.

[IowaMan]

If ReaperWoman were to show up I wouldn't take the rest of the day off and give her freebies for as long as she wanted. :D

[ReaperWoman]

He'd probably charge me double... :p

[IowaMan]

An afternoon of passion with me would be worth at least $10.

[ReaperWoman]

Huh! I think you're over-charging a little there, Papa...

[IowaMan]

Paying me for sex would definitely get any woman the most bang for her buck.

[ReaperWoman]

"the most bang for her buck" didn't make me laugh wickedly...

[IowaMan]

I don't enjoy making RW laugh.

[jseal]

I'm not glad to be back home.

[cavegirl]

I'm extremely glad that I'm going to be charged a lot of money for cancelling my car insurance. Woo hoo!

[IowaMan]

The people in my town love it when I have my naked walks through the streets in the morning.

[dicksbro]

I'm looking forward to this summer when Peoria is going to build the tallest building in the world ... 226 stories high.

[ReaperWoman]

Pixies isn't a community that helps people through tough times in their lives. The people aren't even very nice here.

[IowaMan]

Everything is coming up roses for me today and it's probably the best day I can ever recall having.

[dicksbro]

Personally, I hate it when my day goes well.

[IowaMan]

Rather than have an Easter egg hunt I am going to hide chocolate replicas of Little IowaMan and his buddies (aka Willy and the Wonka Twins) around my yard and invite all the single women of my town to come have a Pursuit of the Penis party.

[dicksbro]

I'm thinking of building a mansion on a 1200 acre plot of land with a 500 acre fishing pond.

[jseal]

I will soon be fishing in dicksbro's pond.

[ReaperWoman]

I always love having big, heavy boobs....

[WildIrish]

Boobs?

Never really been much of a fan of them.

Always hated how those yucky nipples feel hardening in my mouth. :eew:

[dicksbro]

Now, me, I like them hard and so I bought a concrete statue with big boobs.

[IowaMan]

There is a huge bronze statue of a naked IowaMan on the front lawn of the statehouse in Des Moines. The state flag waves proudly from 25 ft. tall Little IowaMan.

[dicksbro]

I just won season tickets to all the Cubs games this year. :)

[IowaMan]

If that ^^^ were true, DB wouldn't get very sick of me saying, "Hey, whatcha doin' today?" for the next six months.

[dicksbro]

I think I'll buy a sky box with all the money I saved on tickets. :)

[IowaMan]

It's more fun it sit in a skybox than to be in the crowd with all the pretty ladies who are getting a bit of sun during the game.

[dicksbro]

You mean you don't stock your sky boxes with pretty ladies wanting to get some sun during the game like I do?

[jseal]

Oh sure I do, but only when I fly in for the game.

[dicksbro]

I know what you mean. I'm so glad I put the helocopter landing pad on the roof of the skybox. I hate fighting the traffic.

[IowaMan]

I don't feel like an absolutely terrible friend right now for getting a date incorrect. :banghead:

[dicksbro]

I'm not watching Sky High again.

[IowaMan]

When I woke up this morning I noticed that my penis had grown about five inches! :nana:

[dicksbro]

I love spring showers that flood our back yard the street out in front of our house.

[IowaMan]

I am the absolute greatest lover in all of the universe.

[dicksbro]

I think I'll put a sign in the yard inviting ladies to come by if they want free help learning about sex.

[Coaster]

I didn't learn much at school this week

[ReaperWoman]

I love working the weekends.

[IowaMan]

I hope the teams I picked in the NCAA Basketball Tourney pool start losing pretty soon, I'd hate like hell to win $350.

[osuche]

I have an evening of relaxation and fun planned

[IowaMan]

I'm not very, very happy that osuche is getting at least a little bit of time to unwind here tonight.

[osuche]

I will not regret the time I'm spending here

[IowaMan]

I'm not going to grab a book and head off to the bedroom. And I'm also not thinking that osuche will do great on her final. ;)

[Coaster]

I'm not headed to bed now

[IowaMan]

I shouldn't be in bed right now.

[jseal]

Breakfast does not smell delicious.

[osuche]

I finished the final

[dicksbro]

I don't need to get a new storm door for the front of our house.

[IowaMan]

If the NCAA basketball tourney was over right now, I'd be $350 richer.

[dicksbro]

It's not time to leave for church.

[osuche]

I hate playing Smut Games and I'd rahter work on my paper

[IowaMan]

I wasn't wrong with my last lie. If the NCAA Tourney ended right now I wouldn't be $350 richer.

[osuche]

Google isn't my paper-writing friend

[IowaMan]

My body is so sculpted that I look like I should be a Greek God.

[ReaperWoman]

My OH doesn't look like a greek god when naked... :D


I have plenty of time to complete everything I need to for college.

[IowaMan]

I look really good with little splotches of white paint in my chest hair.


I don't feel like I should be in a Pepe Le Pew cartoon. :rofl:

[osuche]

I still have a paper to write! :D

[IowaMan]

I'll bet it's not the best paper anybody in the class will turn in either.

[dicksbro]

I'm not wasting a beautiful day by playing smut games and watching tv.

[osuche]

The paper absolutely sucks

[IowaMan]

Sweaty and shirtless is a great look for me.

[osuche]

Sweaty post-workout stinky sex isn't all it's cracked up to be

[IowaMan]

Sex? Oh yeah, I remember what that is.

[dicksbro]

I don't like to have a morning coffee.

[IowaMan]

There's a monster in my pants and he does a naughty dance.

[dicksbro]

I'm not going to get dressed this morning.

[IowaMan]

I didn't get dressed this morning, I just painted my body to make it appear as though I'm wearing clothes.

[dicksbro]

I'm not still tired.

[jseal]

Nasty weather outside! Just nasty!

[dicksbro]

I'm building a fence around our yard using telephone poles.

[IowaMan]

I won't be incredibly happy when I can get DSL hooked up to my computer so I don't have to pay long distance charges to be online and I can get back to spending my normal amount of time here again.

[jseal]

I am not enjoying my son's Spring Break visit.

[IowaMan]

I'm not eating a Little Debbie Fudge Brownie and drinking a Caffeine Free Pepsi while smut gaming.

[WildIrish]

I was relieved when my afternoon appointment called to cancel at the last minute.

[dicksbro]

I sure hope we get more rain tonight. There's still parts of the yard that don't have puddles.

[Pita]

I would hate for it to rain here and wash the yellow pollen that has coated our lovely city, including my car!!

[IowaMan]

I play tuba in a polka band at kid's parties while dressed up as a clown.

[dicksbro]

I try to use the same AV for at least a year at a time.

[ReaperWoman]

My "less pixie-ing more working" plan is goin well so far.

[IowaMan]

All of us guys HATE having ReaperWoman around to play smut games with because we are always picturing her fully clothed.

[ReaperWoman]

I hate playing smut games too... :(

[IowaMan]

I'm about to go out on my nekkid morning walk around the block. I knock on each door and ask for donations to the Little IowaMan fund for the undersexed.

[Coaster]

You two turn me off............

[ReaperWoman]

I'm so glad. If I turned you on I'd have to leave pixies forever... :yikes:

[IowaMan]

I'm not warming up some leftover chicken parmesan from last night for my breakfast. It turned out just terrible and I want to get rid of it ASAP.

[ReaperWoman]

I'm not hungry

[IowaMan]

I've got more hair on top of my head than I do on my chest.

[dicksbro]

I let the air out of my car tires each night so the sidewalls don't feel stressed.

[IowaMan]

I'm not having second, third and even fourth thoughts. :(

[dicksbro]

I just escaped from the funny farm ... and I can't quit laughing.

:roflmao:

[IowaMan]

I hope I don't get to go to California to see my parents this summer.

[1nutworld]

My feet weren't hurting at ALL today, when I got home from opening the store after closing it last night!

[dicksbro]

Did you know I'm 8' tall and play professional basketball?

[IowaMan]

I don't want to go to England someday.

[dicksbro]

I never watched "Have Gun Will Travel" when it used to play on TV.

[IowaMan]

On Saturday afternoons I dress my penis up in different costumes and put on a production of "Penis Puppet Theatre" for all the ladies here in town.

[jseal]

I am not going out this evening! :)

[1nutworld]

I'm not looking forward to payday!

[dicksbro]

I don't have anything to do tomorrow.

[IowaMan]

I probably won't watch the Cubs game tomorrow.



:roflmao:

[dicksbro]

I believe you, IM! :boink:

[IowaMan]

I don't truly believe that the Cubs are going to win the World Series this year for the first time since 1908.

[1nutworld]

I am not excited about the start of baseball season at all, Baah-Humbug!

[IowaMan]

I am going to be introduced tomorrow as the new men's basketball coach at the University of Iowa.

[dicksbro]

Fortunately, the wind isn't blowing too hard right now.

[1nutworld]

I hate that it's 68 degrees and sunny right now!

[dicksbro]

We're thinking of adopting triplets.

[IowaMan]

Opening day of the baseball season shouldn't be celebrated as a holiday by everybody in the universe!

[dicksbro]

It's amazing to see the lines of people at WalMart buying tickets to watch the opening day of the baseball season on their television sets.

[1nutworld]

Opening day of the baseball season shouldn't be celebrated as a holiday by everybody in the universe!

I absolutly do not agree with that statement!

[dicksbro]

I don't enjoy fairs

[1nutworld]

Pixies women NEVER turn me on,

NEVER, NEVER, EVER, EVER!

[Eastern]

I absolutely hate hate chocolate

[1nutworld]

I absolutely hate hate chocolate

Liar!

[Eastern]

Liar!


you bet

[1nutworld]

I love that it is SNOWING right now. After being 70 4 days ago.

[dicksbro]

I wish we were getting snow.

[Eastern]

i want to dig my winter clothes back out.

[1nutworld]

I don't want to see bikini's from the various spring breaks, to take my mind off the snow.

[divot109]

I'm hung like a horse! No really...I am!!!

[dicksbro]

My son didn't just find a job. :)

[jseal]

I'm not pleased to have my daughter homefor her Easter Break.

[mara]

I'm ecstatic that my husband has to work tomorrow and all weekend.

[1nutworld]

I had SUCH a great last 2 hours of work today!

[Eastern]

I don't have a bad headache right now that i want to decapitate myself :vamp:

[IowaMan]

I don't think that Eastern should post sort of a "Here's how it works!" thread of pics with her and her new toy. You know, sort of as an educational tool for all of us here at Pixies. :p

[dicksbro]

I don't like sexual things.

[IowaMan]

I'm really hoping that my sexual dry spell lasts for another two or three years.

[jseal]

I went to work today.

[IowaMan]

I sat down to tea with the Easter Bunny today and we discussed egg hiding strategy.

[dicksbro]

I'm sure glad my car gets 342 miles per gal.

[IowaMan]

I invented flubber.

[dicksbro]

It's so warm here the squirrels are shaving their bushy tails.

[IowaMan]

I collect beaver pelts and sew them into the crotches of my underwear to sort of keep me aroused.


OMG...... where did I come up with that one? :yikes:

[dicksbro]

I'm thinking I should be turning on the air conditioner.

[ReaperWoman]

The Easter Bunny's just been arrested for egging houses.

[IowaMan]

I've got a Playboy bunny here with me right now and she's about to nibble at my "carrot" that I dipped in orange dye.

[dicksbro]

I hope no one has a Happy Easter.

[IowaMan]

I'm dunking Peeps in my coffee and having a jelly bean omelet for breakfast.

[dicksbro]

I seldom look at the weather channel ... I just leave my fly unzipped and if it shrivels up, I know it's cold. :boink:

[IowaMan]

That ^^^ doesn't paint quite the mental picture. :roflmao:

[dicksbro]

I'm not still tired.

[Pita]

I'm doing great with my Joe gone for the next 8 days.

[IowaMan]

I'm not wishing Tess could be with her Joe right now.

I also don't think ReaperWoman is a great young lady.

[Pita]

I think that Iowaman needs to learn to be a little nicer to the Pixie ladies around here or face a firing squad.

[IowaMan]

I'm bad to the bone, you may as well go ahead and shoot me now. :p

[dicksbro]

We don't get along very well, do we?

[1nutworld]

I hate nice sunny days like today! I DO wish it were less than 40 degrees, though, as that would make it perfect.

[Coaster]

I'm a good editer and speller!!!!!

[IowaMan]

The Cubs look great today.

[dicksbro]

I wish I had more eyes they could do surgery on.

[IowaMan]

I could really go for a colonoscopy right about now.

[dicksbro]

I'm ready for winter.

[IowaMan]

I like to wear wooden shoes and clog dance around town.

[jseal]

I enjoyed waking up at 4AM.

[IowaMan]

I hope I can manage to drive my car into the ditch in this beautiful mix of snow and ice when I go to pick up a prescription.

[dicksbro]

I think the April snow is because of global warming.

[IowaMan]

I'm 6'5" tall and weigh about 235 lbs. with a body that looks like I'm am a Greek sculpture come to life. Oh yeah, and I've got a beautiful thick head of hair.

[dicksbro]

WOW! Who would have believed it. Another greek statue just one state away. :)

[IowaMan]

I didn't see Jack Nicholson on a beach in California back in 1985.

[dicksbro]

I miss the times I used to spend playing at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. in Washington.

[IowaMan]

I'm thinking I'll just go ahead and cancel my summer trip to California and spend the money I would've spent on marshmallows instead.

[dicksbro]

Can I have S'MORE of those, too? I want to give up the Iowa Meeting of Pixies (IMP) for those. :)

[IowaMan]

Oh........ that ^^^ was terrible DB. :roflmao:


I am absolutely repulsed by the video that Aqua linked yesterday in the "What Made You Smile Today?" thread. Marching bands shouldn't ever look like that.

[Pita]

I wish Joe would extend his visit with his family for another week or two.

[IowaMan]

I slept in a vat of chocolate pudding last night.

[Pita]

:D

That didn't make me smile!

[dicksbro]

I think I'll go wading in the iced over puddles this morning.

[IowaMan]

DB and I haven't been pretty invigorated by playing smut games with Tess this morning.

[dicksbro]

http://www.websmileys.com/sm/sad/504.gif I know I'm laughing now that she's apparently gone. http://www.websmileys.com/sm/sad/504.gif

[IowaMan]

I wouldn't love to be a Wal Mart greeter in Georgia when Tess comes into the store.

[dicksbro]

I wouldn't even want to follow her around as she shopped.

[IowaMan]

I doubt the loss the Cubs had today comes back to bite them in the ass come September. :(

[dicksbro]

It's in the 40's and raining a bit ... I think it's a perfect day to run to the park.

[IowaMan]

I had sex with Britney Spears last night and we kept bumping our bald heads together.

[dicksbro]

Was that before or after I had her go to the grocery store for me?

[IowaMan]

She did mention something about picking up a gallon of milk as she was leaving.

[dicksbro]

You know, she forgot the milk! :(

[IowaMan]

She forgot her underwear here and I'm wearing them right now. :p

[dicksbro]

I'm glad that at least she didn't have to comb her hair.

[IowaMan]

I sprayed Axe Body Spray on myself before going to the Iowa Spring football game today and I was jumped by about 50 beautiful college girls when I got into the stadium.

[dicksbro]

After I found I'd won a local contest worth a few hundred thousand dollars, I decided to donate it to a local charity.

[IowaMan]

This pastrami sandwich I made is absolutely terrible.

[dicksbro]

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow.

[Pita]

^^^^Me either!

[dicksbro]

I don't care much for nudity

[IowaMan]

I hope Joe calls Tess and says he's staying with his mom for another week.

[jseal]

It did not rain ALL DAY! :(

[IowaMan]

I shot 14 under par yesterday while playing nine holes of golf.

[dicksbro]

I dinner was great with all the ladies doing table and lap dances for us guys.

[jseal]

The wind is NOT whipping along at 35 - 45 mph! :eek:

[dicksbro]

I miss our cloudy cold weather.

[cavegirl]

Headaches just rock. The pain feels so good!!

[mikaylasmummy]

every member on here is a virgin

[IowaMan]

I didn't laugh hysterically three or four times while watching "Blades of Glory" this afternoon.

[dicksbro]

I don't have anything to do today.

[IowaMan]

I don't have a lot of laundry to do.

[dicksbro]

I bet IowaMan doesn't watch the Cubs game today.