Pixies Place Forums - What made you laugh today!

imaginewithme

06-27-2006, 11:12 PM

^^haha

In Anatomy class tonight, the professor went off subject and told us about HGH people take in order to look younger by making theirselves bigger, etc. Then said "well, but it makes EVERYTHING bigger" in a complaining voice, "the men get bigger penis and women get bigger clitoris". I yelled out "now where do we get this stuff" everyone started laughing. I felt like a dork.

alspals69

06-28-2006, 12:18 PM

alspals69

06-28-2006, 12:20 PM

my son who told us tonight at dinner that every time you fart an angel gets born :huh:

lol your gonna have to play him "its a wonderful life" is that whats its called?
though personally i like his version and am personally responsible for the current accomodation crisis in heaven!

sodaklostsoul

06-28-2006, 10:15 PM

Miss Steph!!!!

imaginewithme

07-02-2006, 10:13 AM

THis was last night

Before leaving for our date my mom commented on how nice my hair and make up was.....When getting home from our date.....she said "um, what happened to your hair??? did you go swimming????"

PantyFanatic

07-02-2006, 10:43 AM

... "the men get bigger penis and women get bigger clitoris". I yelled out "now where do we get this stuff".....
When you come to PAGAN, bring a case :nod:

;)

:loveshowe

imaginewithme

07-03-2006, 11:34 AM

Steph thinking I'm some wild party animal, orgy going girl!

Steph

07-03-2006, 11:51 AM

Steph thinking I'm some wild party animal, orgy going girl!

Hello! Bigger clitoris!! Porno star! :D

Pita

07-03-2006, 05:05 PM

Taking our girl friend downtown and browsing the shops together.

sodaklostsoul

07-04-2006, 06:16 PM

Well Booger had moved the entertainment center out so he could clean behind it and he got to the vent in the floor and noticed the cat had been peeing in it/over it. So he says something about the cat hanging his but over it when the air goes off and I got this dam mental pic of the cat doing it. Poor vent is rusty now.

maddy

07-04-2006, 07:49 PM

PF's signature... just how long has it said "the best thing next to cuchie"?

PantyFanatic

07-04-2006, 08:08 PM

It’s been saying that in my mind for ever,:tongue: but only for a while in my sig. :loveshowe

(you’d be surprised what you find “in” panties) ;)

Lilith

07-05-2006, 08:03 AM

getting a link for "extreme farm action" in my email today, my school email :D

imaginewithme

07-06-2006, 03:37 PM

driving 8 hours for Kettle Chips

PantyFanatic

07-06-2006, 03:56 PM

That’s 40% of the way to PAGAN. :car:

;)

dicksbro

07-06-2006, 04:28 PM

driving 8 hours for Kettle Chips

Hey, that would put you close. Couldn't you hear the Falls falling; the Pixies pixilating; the souvenier shops practicing cash register rings; Flying Monkee's leaping from the hotel windows ... and ... oh, yeah, Mrs DB and I waving?

:roflmao:

alspals69

07-06-2006, 04:37 PM

getting asked why it to me an hour to buy a kinder egg, a lemon, a lime, some ice cream, some tonic water and 2 bags of kettle chips... from a shop less than a mile away

Pita

07-06-2006, 08:44 PM

Seeing the 3-D movie at the aquarium today and laughing my ass off with my girl friend!

lizzardbits

07-08-2006, 06:29 AM

Go check out my ~wow~ post over in the sex talk board and you will see why I am laughing so hard that I am nearly peeing myself!! Bwahahahaha!

Lilith

07-08-2006, 08:46 AM

that did^^^

Coaster

07-08-2006, 08:50 AM

Yep^^^..me too.......... ~wow~

Now I can't get that freakin song outta my head! Thanks Lizzzzzzzzzzzzz!

imaginewithme

07-09-2006, 06:14 PM

REading this old post by PF in the "Glory Hole" thread. I can't stop laughing picturing it.

I once sat there watching a porno on the back of the door, dropping my quarter in the slot for the next two minutes, and realized there was a eyeball watching me from the next booth thru the hole. :eek: I jumped half out of more skin than I realized I was showing,.. kicked at it, and by the time I could get my pants zipped up and get out, the booth was empty. :mad:

Steph

07-09-2006, 06:59 PM

an elderly squirrel taking pieces of an empty dog food bag from the recycling

I wonder if he's the flying squirrel?

lizzardbits

07-10-2006, 02:41 AM

I found an old tape of Beavis and Butthead--it still makes me laugh

Steph

07-21-2006, 02:56 AM

I've become good friends with a co-worker . . . her last shift was tonight. She sent out an email to our dept. from her hotmail address asking everyone to keep in touch. I replied to her saying, "I'll keep in touch if you find me a hot boyfriend. Do it!!!!!"

A minute later I realized I somehow did the 'reply all' gaffe. :roflmao:

I was impressed that one of my supervisors immediately sent out an email making fun of me to dilute the humiliation. :)

Tomorrow should be fun at work.

PantyFanatic

07-29-2006, 12:49 AM

A list of qualifiers I saw today :roflmao:
6) You stop greeting people with "hello" and go straight to the "how
ya goin?" :wave: ……...

19) You've squeezed Vegemite through vita wheats to make little Vegemite worms :eew: …………………

22) You pledge allegiance to Vegemite over Promite. (DEFINITELY) :yikes: …..

31) You constantly shorten words to "brekkie", "yestie", "arvo" and "barbie". :roflmao:
They only need one more.
"You own a 'Frog Shit' shooter. :D

imaginewithme

07-31-2006, 12:35 PM

being a fast and impressive typer

sodaklostsoul

08-10-2006, 10:40 PM

Kiddo tells us that she knows when her half birthday will be and Booger says that he can't give her half spankings and kiddo replies yes you can on one cheek.

Booger

08-13-2006, 10:24 PM

a personalized Ontario license plate we saw as we left Niagara Falls today that siad YEAH EH

Steph

08-14-2006, 09:58 AM

a personalized Ontario license plate we saw as we left Niagara Falls today that siad YEAH EH

LOLOL

& DB's joke at breakfast yesterday about how Canada used to be called CND until we changed it -- C EH N EH D EH

sodaklostsoul

08-14-2006, 04:17 PM

Yeah Eh! :nana:

Steph

08-20-2006, 06:53 AM

thinking about PF appearing as Red Green & also thinking about shepherding Pixies from one place to another (they blocked the kitchen for a short time at Saturday's dinner :D )

sodaklostsoul

08-21-2006, 10:58 PM

Abner and his new toy....a mouse in a little cage thing.........he got his head in it and was wearing it like a mask

Steph

09-02-2006, 05:48 PM

Calling Charles to ask if he needed some of his fave pizza & not only did he buy some earlier today, he left a book there he wants me to read. We're both enjoying the rainy Saturday. I get to pick up the book plus a spinach/feta pizza.

alspals69

09-02-2006, 05:55 PM

my 2 year old doing a very good impressionof her older sis, so funny... so worrying!

osuche

09-02-2006, 08:53 PM

Taking a walk with Mr Osuche and him laughing at me when I pooped out...then laughing at me even harder when I got intractable. :p

PantyFanatic

09-02-2006, 09:35 PM

Abner's new catchers mask. :D

lizzardbits

09-12-2006, 01:13 PM

Mayhem telling me---> "You're the right kind of loopy!"

It was strangely sweet at the same time as it was funny.

lizzardbits

10-24-2006, 04:08 PM

My daughter asked me as I was putting on my coat--"Where are you going, Mommy?"

"crazy," I replied

Said she, "I wanna go with you!"

LOL :D LOL :D LOL

Pita

10-24-2006, 08:35 PM

Believe it or not...he wouldn't stop giving me orgasms and I was suddenly overcome with laughter. It was great!!

osuche

10-24-2006, 10:16 PM

Us ganging up on our boss...all 4 of us at once! :D

Needless to say...he was annoyed.

sodaklostsoul

10-24-2006, 10:37 PM

Me almost shooting my boss's husband. He was sitting in the office and I was loading this gun that has plastic stick things for putting tags back on clothes and stuff and I went to test it and it shot one right past him. He gave me a strange look. I was laughing so hard my boss looked over and asked me what I was doing and I just replied shooting your husband.

WildIrish

10-25-2006, 02:52 PM

Almost reducing our maintenance staff by one...

after screaming "BOO" at him when he walked into the room. :D

lizzardbits

11-03-2006, 07:23 PM

A PM suggesting a nick name change to Lizzard-Brits! LOL!!!!

Steph

11-06-2006, 04:18 PM

A PM suggesting a nick name change to Lizzard-Brits! LOL!!!!

WildIrish, I presume? :D

lizzardbits

11-09-2006, 09:45 AM

the responses to my bra thread! some of the things are hilarious!

WildIrish

11-09-2006, 10:18 AM

lmao at Lizzard-Brits!

I wish I was quick enough to come up with that one! :D

As for me...I made me crack up today. But don't worry, I was laughing with me...not at me. :p

osuche

11-10-2006, 04:34 PM

One of the sales people who works for me...

"You invite someone to your website, and then they view your tool..."

"...eventually you make a sale."

:rofl:

PantyFanatic

11-10-2006, 06:38 PM

^^^ :rofl:

sodaklostsoul

11-12-2006, 11:45 AM

Lixy's "Proof your parents had sex day"

sodaklostsoul

11-18-2006, 06:01 PM

Steph's pitbull in a pink turtleneck.

dicksbro

11-18-2006, 06:24 PM

^^^^ that. :D

WildIrish

11-21-2006, 04:40 PM

this story (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/story.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10411372)

Talk about a rough day. lmao

Mae

11-21-2006, 05:11 PM

LMAO :D Brings Moe, Larry & Curly to mind...

osuche

11-27-2006, 06:34 PM

Running out of tampons and having an emergency on the airplane.....trying to wrap the "free" maxipad around my little white thong and hoping for the best.

Thongs do *not* work for maxi-pad wearers! :yikes:

IowaMan

11-28-2006, 12:44 PM

This place is nothing if not educational. :rofl:

Gotta admit, that story got a laugh out of me though. :D

Steph

11-29-2006, 12:10 PM

Boyfriend Ready To Take Relationship To Previous Level (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/55735)

Irezumi Kiss

11-29-2006, 01:49 PM

Walking to work today from a bookstore near Times Square over to my office on 48th & 6th...it's a moderately warm day for this time of year in this city. But everyone is mostly still in down jackets and wool caps and the like.

Just before I hit 42nd St., I notice a tall, model-ish brunette walking ahead of me. I didn't see her face, but she had a big, fluffy, 80's-style hairdo. She had on either a weird pair of shorts or a mini skirt that looked like cutoff safari/cargo pants with the side pockets re-sewn on the buttcheeks. They exposed a LOT of leg and the gams that were shown was a tad more on the side of Nicole Richie spindly than Tina Turner shapely. These were bottomed off by a pair of gold-glitter covered, tapered platform shoes that made her every step wobbly and shaky, like she was in danger of tripping and falling over if she increased her speed beyond 1mph.

Needless to say, she turned everyone's head and it was more amusing watching everyone else's facial expressions. Her whole shebang was just so deliciously right-on tacky and a fitting antidote for this grey, overcasted sky and morose afternoon that I had to chuckle.

Neige

11-29-2006, 06:30 PM

This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7a3ByQjDY4)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Warning - you may explode from the cuteness!!!!!!!!!!)

sodaklostsoul

11-30-2006, 05:40 PM

This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7a3ByQjDY4)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Warning - you may explode from the cuteness!!!!!!!!!!)

I'm sure I would have if it would have worked.

Booger hiking his pants up and being silly. I think my child is scared for life. LOL.

WildIrish

12-13-2006, 04:12 PM

Mrs. WI's text message "You may have to eat me tonight". :D

Wish she sent it to me instead of screwing up the "send to" though. :roflmao:

tasha

12-13-2006, 04:34 PM

After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough,
as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough
to nick one, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his
wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix
the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home,
get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his
ear and count to 10.

The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world,
but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going
to help me." "Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can
up to his ear and began to count: "1,2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused,
placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his
other hand...

This procedure also works in Birmingham, parts of Essex, Sunderland,
Aberdeen and anywhere in Wales

PantyFanatic

12-14-2006, 09:58 PM

This (http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/) turnabout :rofl:

campingboy

12-14-2006, 10:36 PM

pf, that was very funny. Thanks for posting that.

Steph

12-19-2006, 03:21 PM

Justin Timberlake on SNL performing "Dick in a Box" (Something special for your girlfriend this Christmas):

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1dmVU08zVpA

Lilith

12-19-2006, 04:24 PM

This made me cry laughing^^^ when I saw it Saturday night.

IowaMan

12-20-2006, 06:23 PM

Sodak's "The Year in Blonde Jokes" on the jokes thread.

Steph

12-22-2006, 02:40 AM

An angry manatee

IowaMan

12-22-2006, 02:45 AM

Yep, that ^^^^^ did it for me as well. :rofl:

Fangtasia

12-23-2006, 06:35 PM

Than manatee is a crack up *LOL*

rabbit

12-23-2006, 09:40 PM

My son being silly.

jbh3

12-23-2006, 09:48 PM

The Daily Show Best of 2006 on comedycentral.com's Motherlode.....hilarious!!!!You gotta check out the "check ins" section where Jon asks Colbert whats coming up on his show...funny shit!!!!

grl2naughty

12-27-2006, 04:43 PM

A statement that was made from someone who has the best of everything. :)

ShadowDancer

12-27-2006, 05:48 PM

I was sitting here perusing Pixie's and heard a 'water hitting water' sound from the bathroom across the hall...turned around and my 3 yr old son was standing and peeing in the potty(big deal for him)...well, i told him to flush it and he did..well, then the toilet over-flowed. he panicked! he came running in here to me wailing "mommy fix it!!" "call daddy, make him fix it!!"...I couldn't help but laugh at how comical it was(and even now, have the giggles over it)...but he was SO distraught!

IowaMan

12-27-2006, 06:00 PM

Chuckling over ShadowDancer's story as I type.

Got a laugh listening to my best friend's dad describe the fiasco he and his wife had on Christmas Day trying to get into a movie they wanted to see. It was sold out at three different theaters and they ended up seeing one that "sucked shit" according to him. "But the old lady gave me a little feel up during one of the boring scenes." :D

IAKaraokeGirl

12-28-2006, 10:00 AM

*snicker* ^^^

Neige

12-29-2006, 10:10 AM

After Vinci begged allll morning to go outside (in -5 degrees C!!!!!!!!) I finally opened the door for him... He ran quickly out, then suddenly stopped and turned around and looked at me like, WTF?!?!? Who forgot to put on the heat?!?!? He didn't stay out very long :roflmao:

PantyFanatic

12-29-2006, 10:36 AM

No wonder!:cool: You forgot to put an outside thermometer at eye-level for him. :D

dicksbro

12-29-2006, 11:48 AM

PF getting hit for mentioning apple chips. :roflmao:

whosyour51

12-29-2006, 05:16 PM

even that one worked for me :bump:

wyndhy

12-29-2006, 05:19 PM

my daughter's stand-up routine.

i just flew in from querky (albuquerque) and boy am i tired. :roflmao:

Steph

12-30-2006, 03:34 AM

my daughter's stand-up routine.

i just flew in from querky (albuquerque) and boy am i tired. :roflmao:

ROFLMAO I wish I could hear the delivery!

What also made me laugh are the people who celebrate Saddam's death as IF if HELPS shit in Iraq.

Let's gather MORE troops. That'll fix 'em

Er, anyone see Osama lately?

rabbit

12-31-2006, 02:57 PM

What also made me laugh are the people who celebrate Saddam's death as IF if HELPS shit in Iraq.

Yeah, that was my first thought...until I thought of the families of the people that had loved ones killed by this butcher.

I, for one, hopes he rots in hell.

NOW, AS FOR THE TOPIC OF THIS THREAD...

My son putting on a silly outfit in his attempt to dress as a clown.

WildIrish

01-02-2007, 05:02 PM

Someone's calendar...too funny.

Mae

01-02-2007, 10:16 PM

This will sound weird, but I was at a frugal website and they had the smilie faces. Quite a few of them made me chuckle.

osuche

01-15-2007, 06:07 PM

Mr osuche getting soap in all his nooks and crannies before he realized that the water heater wasn't working and he was due a COLD shower.

IowaMan

01-15-2007, 06:10 PM

Hey, now that's not very nice osuche! Did you at least volunteer to warm him up a bit and get to some of those spots, I hope? ;)

rabbit

01-15-2007, 08:40 PM

This woman I work with who smokes, sticking the rocket into her mouth the wrong way and almost lighting the filter.

imaginewithme

01-15-2007, 10:38 PM

This woman I work with who smokes, sticking the rocket into her mouth the wrong way and almost lighting the filter.
HAHAHA thats funny

I laughed at my daughter being knocked over by a big bouncy ball today. I know, I know, thats bad, but it's funny...

sodaklostsoul

01-16-2007, 04:58 PM

Mental Pics from a convo I had. Hehehehehe :D

sodaklostsoul

01-16-2007, 11:47 PM

A scorpin came into chat!!!! lol

IowaMan

01-17-2007, 07:07 PM

Seeing a guy driving around in a convertible with the top down on my way home from Iowa City this afternoon. The temp was about 8F at the time. That guy's balls had to have been jumping up into his throat. :yikes:

PantyFanatic

01-26-2007, 11:23 PM

Actually it was the stage play (http://www.actorssummit.org/ticketframe.html) I saw last night that comes back to mind and makes me laugh. :)

QED is an abbreviation for a number of things, like 'quod erat demonstrandum', a Latin phrase used at the end of a definitive proof. Or 'quantum electrodynamics', a field of physics, and it also happens to the title of a book by Richard Feynman who did ground breaking work in the field and now it is the title of the play about him. :) The brilliance of his work goes without saying, but the talent of the man truly came from the fact that he never became so full of himself, nor did he allow the elitist atmosphere he worked in to do it to him. He enjoyed his life and lusts to the utmost and went to where his exceptional mind took him, but above all else, he was a 'teacher'. Rather than 'reading from on high to the lesser', he broke some rather heady concepts down to comprehendible explanations in lectures that are viewed all over the world today by people in the field. He was a vibrant man that wanted to share EVERYTHING with everybody and truly enjoyed doing it. He liked having fun! :D

That's what made me laugh today. :rofl:

(btw- I understand he couldn't spell for shit either.) :roflmao:

IowaMan

01-27-2007, 12:51 PM

PF's offering for Madame Lilith to read his palm. I think we've got an early leader for Post of the Year with that one. :rofl:

That one was an absolute instant classic PF! :thumb:

Lilith

01-27-2007, 01:14 PM

Don't encourage him!!!!

PantyFanatic

01-27-2007, 05:21 PM

Madame Lilith :x:

:roflmao:

osuche

01-27-2007, 07:14 PM

Two men acting like boys, hovering around my kitchen, and eating cookies and milk

PantyFanatic

01-27-2007, 10:09 PM

Are you SURE, cookies and milk is what they were eyeing? :p

(if it was, you are in the wrong kitchen ;) )

osuche

01-28-2007, 03:11 AM

That ^^^ made me smile. He does (almost) always

IowaMan

01-28-2007, 02:50 PM

Yep, PF did it again. Don't miss a single thing do you? Not even in the "What song are you listening to right now?" thread. :rofl:

sodaklostsoul

01-28-2007, 10:20 PM

Robin Williams

osuche

01-29-2007, 01:08 PM

Being razzed by all my friends about my poor bedside manner

sodaklostsoul

01-30-2007, 12:11 AM

My atenna ball has a snow hat.

PantyFanatic

01-30-2007, 01:23 AM

My atenna ball has a snow hat.
:yikes:

Boog never mentioned that :eek: .................... I guess I wouldnt' tell anybody either :o

wyndhy

01-30-2007, 09:52 AM

soda's chicken farmer joke

osuche

01-30-2007, 12:33 PM

Running out of antiperspirant after applying it to only ONE arm. I broke out the emergency stash....which means that I have two different smelling pits. :rofl:

IowaMan

01-30-2007, 07:25 PM

IowaMan P.I.: This generation's Sherlock Holmes. :rofl:

hot_shot_uk69

01-30-2007, 08:28 PM

watching the wedding crashers

hot_shot_uk69

01-30-2007, 08:30 PM

Running out of antiperspirant after applying it to only ONE arm. I broke out the emergency stash....which means that I have two different smelling pits. :rofl:

could be worse... could have smelly ones!

sodaklostsoul

02-01-2007, 12:24 AM

The child just comming into the computer room half asleep and wondering where her drink was. Been lucky she's never tried to go outside while in her sleep walking stage.

IowaMan

02-03-2007, 07:36 AM

Something that happened not even two minutes ago on the morning news. The two young ladies doing the newscast were talking about how to dress for the brutally cold weather and one of them slipped and said something to the effect of, "Oh, I've got so many layers on right now. I've got two pair of long johns on over my tho......." and then she stopped and the other girl started laughing. :roflmao:

IowaMan

02-05-2007, 01:39 PM

The ballerina with the hairy armpits.

IowaMan

02-06-2007, 12:55 PM

The weatherman on the local midday news. He just told us that it really isn't too bad out there today. His next sentence was, "The wind chill factor right now in Cedar Rapids is -19." What a moron! :rofl:

osuche

02-07-2007, 01:28 AM

Many minutes during my dinner with a good friend

rzande1

02-07-2007, 10:49 AM

The Bush Administration.

dicksbro

02-07-2007, 10:55 AM

The last three jokes in the jokes thread.

IowaMan

02-09-2007, 09:08 AM

The thought of 20/20 doing a story on the fad of men locking their testicles in padlocks. :roflmao:

Lilith

02-09-2007, 06:12 PM

Is it being filmed at my place?????

IowaMan

02-09-2007, 06:50 PM

If you're holding the keys then I guess yeah, it will be filmed at your place. :rofl:

IowaMan

02-10-2007, 05:46 PM

Watching what just may be the dumbest movie ever made. It's called Zardoz. It was released in 1974 and stars Sean Connery. It's nearly impossible to do it justice with words.

It's set in the 23rd Century and Connery is a member of a society known as the Brutals. These people worship a giant stone head known as Zardoz. He ends up amongst a civilation known as the Eternals who have "evolved" to the point where they no longer need sex because they all live forever. OMG it was so damn bad it was good.

"The gun is good. The penis is evil." :roflmao:

Gotta thank TinTennessee for recommending that one to me last week. It was absolutely worth the wait for Netflix to get it to me. She definitely was right on target with her review of it for me.

PantyFanatic

02-10-2007, 07:36 PM

^^^ made me laugh today. :D

I didn't think anybody eles in the sane world knew about the stowaway in "The Flying Skull". :roflmao:

IowaMan

02-10-2007, 07:41 PM

I'm still laughing just thinking about it PF. Oh my god what a flick. :roflmao:

Sad thing is I'll probably watch it another couple of times before I return it. :rofl:

PantyFanatic

02-10-2007, 08:01 PM

Let me know if you get it after the re-watches.

Maybe this is where the third time is the charm. After my second viewing,:sad: I was more confused than after the first.:huh: I just figured it was either an English movie or 'art' :yikes:

( <---- can't waite until Lou finds this post :doorpeek: )

IowaMan

02-16-2007, 07:53 PM

Oh, it was definitely art PF. :roflmao:

A 90 minute phone conversation I just finished with my mom and stepdad. Mom talked about everything from Kobe Bryant, Michael Waltrip and how the new coffee maker drives their parakeet crazy to whether I remembered a trip to the doctor's office when I was three years old. Dad was more interested in how the furnace is running in the house and whether or not I had decided how to finish the hardwood floors. They both agreed though that the new Thai food place down the block from them just isn't quite as good as the Chinese place it replaced. And the real kicker was that we never even got around to talking about the topic I called to talk about; whether or not that had decided to come back here for a visit or not.

Oh yeah, they were both concerned that the University of Illinois can no longer have the dancing Indian chief at the football and basketball games too. God, I love them. :D

wyndhy

02-16-2007, 10:27 PM

how my monster charmed all the peeps in line at wendy's; he was misbehaving and all they could say was "he's soooooooo cute and funny"

PantyFanatic

02-16-2007, 11:18 PM

Were they saying it with clinched teeth and without lip movement?

:spank:

:rofl:

IowaMan

02-20-2007, 07:38 AM

I had an absolutely crazy dream. In it, I was a surgeon performing a lung transplant. I was also the patient on the table. When I got into the procedure I found out exactly what was causing all the problems I've had with my lungs all my life......... they were vacuum cleaner bags. I remember saying in the dream, "Huh, well this explains a little bit."

Sure would be great if they found such an easy fix for me when I actually do have the surgery.

wyndhy

02-20-2007, 04:03 PM

bargaining for good behavior and being told, in spirit if not in these exact words, that only two lifesavers would secure his complete cooperation.

IowaMan

02-21-2007, 12:18 PM

A conversation with a CSR about why the antibiotic I got yesterday wasn't covered by my insurance. I was in charge of people in similar positions for almost 8 yrs and I think if one of them had show the poor customer service skills and lack of general knowledge as the genius I spoke with today I would've just gone ahead and hung myself.

WildIrish

02-21-2007, 12:37 PM

IowaMan

02-21-2007, 12:54 PM

/me didn't realize your name was Kirby. :confused:
Eureka!!!! Now it all makes sense!!! :roflmao:

sodaklostsoul

02-21-2007, 01:08 PM

Pixie men......... bunch a little dirty devils.

WildIrish

02-21-2007, 01:21 PM

:roflmao:

Neige

02-21-2007, 06:43 PM

The newest Têtes a claques (http://www.tetesaclaques.tv/video.php?vid=45) clip!!!!!! OMG it's toooo good!!! (Warning : it is in French. However, if you do understand it, also check out this one (http://www.tetesaclaques.tv/video.php?vid=23) - the new one tells what happened to put him there!!!!!)

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

Neige

02-21-2007, 06:49 PM

OMG I just realized that a sheep baaa's at the end!!! :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

Booger

02-22-2007, 02:52 AM

While fixing up some of the file names on the music I downloaded noticed a Berry White's Let Get It On was labled Porn Grove under genre. :roflmao:

IowaMan

02-22-2007, 07:16 PM

Pabst Smir :roflmao:

jseal, that one's still got me going. :thumb:

WildIrish

02-23-2007, 11:25 AM

Thinking about a more modern version of the age old story of the Capulets & the Montagues.

Featuring Pussytwats & Peckercocks. :P

Lilith

02-23-2007, 05:45 PM

sitting on one of my baby's desks going over a Math lesson and at the same time chastising another student when I hear in the faintest whisper ever, "take a point. oh please oh please tell him to take a point"

wyndhy

02-24-2007, 04:05 PM

lil's age gap spam. :roflmao:

wyndhy

02-24-2007, 04:07 PM

all the spam, actually. :p:D

rabbit

02-24-2007, 04:15 PM

sledding...and wiping out badly.

:wobbly:

IowaMan

02-24-2007, 05:59 PM

Leon Phelps......... The Ladies Man

Neige

02-24-2007, 10:03 PM

wyndhy wasting my time! :rofl:

sodaklostsoul

02-24-2007, 10:06 PM

Joke thread.

wyndhy

02-25-2007, 03:21 PM

the lyrics from "i'll sue ya!"

sodaklostsoul

02-25-2007, 11:34 PM

Robin Williams doing Mr. Rogers.

osuche

02-26-2007, 12:37 AM

My mother and the waitress...both were clueless. :p

rabbit

02-26-2007, 08:53 PM

nothing.

sodaklostsoul

02-26-2007, 11:33 PM

Oldfart's joke...............dose'nt pay to piss off bikers.

IowaMan

02-28-2007, 01:03 PM

Thinking of the Eddie Murphy cassette tapes I had when I was a teenager after reading Aqua's post in another thread. "Lemonaaaade, that cool, refreshing drink."

"Norton! Come on over here pal!" :roflmao:

wyndhy

02-28-2007, 06:38 PM

i wrote a note to myself, it said "clean the oven you senile old bat" cause for the 3rd straight day, i've forgotten to. it's not hard, it's a self-cleaning oven, all i gotta do is press a few buttons. so i wrote me this here note

then i taped it to the microwave. :p

Lilith

02-28-2007, 06:50 PM

Me: "No hunny, I have no idea why this economy multipack of batteries is on the nightstand"

sodaklostsoul

02-28-2007, 09:12 PM

Pixie Peeps.

Gotta love em.

1nutworld

02-28-2007, 09:39 PM

Me: "No hunny, I have no idea why this economy multipack of batteries is on the nightstand"

methinks that Lilith is not exactly being truthful.

(But we love her anyway!!)

IowaMan

03-01-2007, 05:13 AM

My laugh came last night during a phone call from my best friend's sister. She put her four year-old daughter on the phone because she "had" to talk to Uncle IowaMan. She said this to me and it just cracked me up:

"Uncle IowaMan, I get to go with you and grandma next week when you go to the hospital. Um, when you get out do you wanna have a sleepover? Um and will you bring candy?"

And please nobody worry, I'm just going to the hospital for some tests. It's nothing incredibly major.

WildIrish

03-01-2007, 08:46 AM

She calls you Uncle IowaMan?

IowaMan

03-01-2007, 09:04 AM

Well if she called me "Daddy" her mom's hubby may get a bit curious.

sodaklostsoul

03-03-2007, 11:54 PM

Joke thread.

sodaklostsoul

03-04-2007, 11:07 PM

George Carlin(sp) Boog's got him on the net show right now.

lizzardbits

03-05-2007, 01:48 AM

Boog's net show!

IowaMan

03-05-2007, 07:13 AM

The 18 emails I got from a friend who used to work for me. Todd is a St. Louis Cardinals fan and loves to give me crap about the Cubs. Of course since they lost 11-2 in their first televised game of the season yesterday, Todd was on cloud nine.

The series of emails ended with one that read:

Hey, just wanted to check to see how you've been feeling and to let you know that I just got done making love to my wife. How's that masturbation thing going for you?

Take it easy buddy,
Todd

P.S. -- The Cubs still SUCK!!!

Damn, he's lucky I'm no longer his boss. :roflmao:

Neige

03-06-2007, 02:07 PM

Finding Vinci's new favourite toy - wine bottle corks! :rofl:

Oldfart

03-06-2007, 04:04 PM

Nothing, too early yet.

WildIrish

03-08-2007, 08:35 AM

"Keep Miss Puss clean all the time, inside and out" :roflmao: :roflmao:

Lilith

03-08-2007, 04:18 PM

lmbfao

Eastern

03-08-2007, 04:57 PM

Hi
I laughed and did a happy dance when unemployment told me All was good. HURRAH.. psycho boss didn't fight.

:cheers:

sodaklostsoul

03-08-2007, 11:45 PM

The high school musical kiddo and I saw tonight.

1nutworld

03-09-2007, 07:56 AM

TWO keystrokes, passing the point of "no return" !!!

:roflmao:

(sorry, guess you had to be there)

WildIrish

03-09-2007, 12:17 PM

An actual conversation that took place between two people in an amateur porn...

While he's seated and she's kneeling between his legs and fellating him...

Him: "I like your new glasses."

She removes her lips from his erection and continues to stroke him.
Her: "Do you?

Him: "Uh huh"

Her: "Do they make me look more respectful?"
She returns licks the head of his penis and takes him back into her mouth.

Him: "Yes, they do. Absolutely."

:confused:

:roflmao:

1nutworld

03-09-2007, 02:07 PM

THAT ^^^ IS pretty funny!

IowaMan

03-12-2007, 10:17 AM

A response in Smut Games by jseal. I just didn't see it coming and I damn near spit out my tea when I read it.

And didn't Lilith just get some new glasses? :p

IowaMan

03-15-2007, 06:02 AM

Thinking about Capt. Queeg and his search for the missing strawberries. What a great movie. :thumb:

WildIrish

03-15-2007, 08:35 AM

My youngest son's face when I woke him up 15 minutes before it was time to be at the bus stop! :yikes: :roflmao:

PantyFanatic

03-15-2007, 08:59 AM

Thinking about Capt. Queeg and his search for the missing strawberries. What a great movie. :thumb:
Somebody always steals your strawberry. That's what happens when you play with your balls too much. :roflmao:

;)

ReaperWoman

03-15-2007, 07:04 PM

Vagina Monologues! :roflmao:

I'm not normally one to laugh openly in a theatre, but I had my head thrown back and cackling away with the rest of them tonight!

I apologise if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

sodaklostsoul

03-16-2007, 12:04 AM

PF's cat and mouse story.

PantyFanatic

03-16-2007, 08:13 AM

OF having VERY different thought about beads than I did. :rofl:

WildIrish

03-16-2007, 09:19 AM

FHOP :roflmao:

PantyFanatic

03-16-2007, 10:16 AM

FHOP? :confused:

IowaMan

03-16-2007, 11:13 AM

Over in the March Madness thread PF.

Yep, the FHOP got me laughing. You had to dig pretty deep for that one WI but you struck Black Gold........ Texas Tea. :p

And nope, I ain't got no check to send you Jed. :rofl:

sodaklostsoul

03-16-2007, 10:46 PM

The young male cashier we have................he pages me and when I get up to the register I ask him what he needs and he says an abortion, I asked who knocked him up. The next time he pages me he says he needs a sale voided. Little chicken won't use the abort word no more. LOL

IowaMan

03-17-2007, 03:26 PM

The mail I received today. Thought it was just junk mail for a CD or DVD club but when I got it home I opened it (was the only thing I received today so I figured "what the hell?") and found that it was a catalog for porn. Not an Adam & Eve kind of thing, this was for flat out smut. :nod:

I laughed when I got to thinking about what the postmaster here in my little town may have thought if she knew what was actually in the envelope.

sodaklostsoul

03-19-2007, 12:01 AM

My sister telling me that her 2 cats have to smack each other when they walk by each other. Our cat smacks us when we walk by.

IowaMan

03-19-2007, 10:04 AM

An absolutely stupid dream I had last night. In it, Paul McCartney had died and Tom Hanks (of all people) was singing at a concert held in his memory. Tom started crying and couldn't continue and ran off the stage. Not sure what caused this one. Been having some pretty strange dreams lately. :shrug:

smithy020

03-19-2007, 10:10 AM

^^^
thats made me laugh

i think you need to lay off the cheese before bed time iowa......

WildIrish

03-20-2007, 08:39 AM

How much mileage I'm getting out of " Pick me!!! Pick me!!! :D "

IowaMan

03-20-2007, 07:45 PM

Maybe it was a sugar rush or something but eating what felt like my body weight in chocolate got a pretty big chuckle out of me a little bit ago.

Loulabelle

03-21-2007, 09:30 AM

A PM I received had me laughing out loud

WildIrish

03-21-2007, 09:31 AM

A PM I received had me laughing out loud

Naked pictures of me often ellicit that response. :p

osuche

03-21-2007, 10:10 PM

I had a sugar high too, it made for a fun afternoon.

IowaMan

03-21-2007, 10:39 PM

Learning just how simple it is to twist a willing arm. :rofl:

sodaklostsoul

03-21-2007, 10:43 PM

:coffee:

WildIrish

03-22-2007, 07:10 AM

pig bukkake :roflmao:

IowaMan

03-25-2007, 04:24 AM

Another absolutely crazy dream. I won't go into the details because I'm afraid the guys in the little white coats would be showing up to take me away. All I'll say is that the chef from The Muppet Show was involved. :confused:

sodaklostsoul

03-25-2007, 08:55 AM

IowaMan, what kind of drugs they got you on?!?!?!?! LOL.

IowaMan

03-26-2007, 11:26 AM

Finding out that no matter how many times I try I'm not going to be able to get a PM to sodaklastsoul to go thru. :banghead:

Maybe it really is the damn drugs they've got me on. :p

wyndhy

03-27-2007, 11:16 AM

and exasperated "would you quit sticking those super balls in your mouth!?!" to the boy.

Lilith

03-27-2007, 05:52 PM

my morbid sense of humor

themi01

03-27-2007, 07:01 PM

The way my cat and dog seem to mirror each other as they sleep

IowaMan

03-30-2007, 05:02 PM

Seeing the t-shirts the University of West Virginia men's basketball team got to show they had won the NIT tournament. Someone screwed up and spelled it: West Virgina. :roflmao:

IowaMan

04-06-2007, 03:57 PM

An impromptu "Allegory of the Cave" story from WildIrish. OMFG, my friend that one is still just killing me. :roflmao:

osuche

04-06-2007, 04:21 PM

A spirited debate between Geraldo and a jackass

IowaMan

04-07-2007, 03:09 PM

The thought of our "Townwide Garage Sale" that is going on today. Since there's only about 575 people in the town it's basically a bunch of people who know each other really well just trading their old junk.

ShadowDancer

04-07-2007, 05:37 PM

I was giggling over PantyFanatic's Easter thread.

Pita

04-07-2007, 09:41 PM

The PM I just read about soap and naughty thoughts. :D

Booger

04-07-2007, 10:32 PM

A spirited debate between Geraldo and a jackass

Wouldn't that be two jackass debating.

osuche

04-08-2007, 01:07 AM

A spirited debate between Geraldo and a jackass

http://www.oliverwillis.com/2007/04/bill_oreilly_lo.html

IowaMan

04-08-2007, 04:13 AM

O'Reilly is a Cubs fan........... almost makes me ashamed to admit that I am as well. :(

But he is good for a laugh every now and again. His continuous audition for a part on Hee Haw as the donkey in the field is entertaining sometimes.

IowaMan

04-08-2007, 06:25 AM

This one just got me from the "Lies! All Lies!" thread in smut games:

I seldom look at the weather channel ... I just leave my fly unzipped and if it shrivels up, I know it's cold. :boink:

I love our morning "coffee club" :D

sodaklostsoul

04-08-2007, 09:27 AM

IowaMan's 3 things today.

IowaMan

04-08-2007, 07:07 PM

The story of my best friend's 11 year-old son's experience in his sex ed class. Apparently he advised his mom that she shouldn't worry if in a couple of years the day comes that she finds that the sheets to his bed are all wet. It won't be because he wet the bed, it's because all of his "extra sperm" will have come out during the night. :roflmao:

dicksbro

04-09-2007, 05:58 AM

PM's from a good friend! :roflmao:

sodaklostsoul

04-09-2007, 07:23 AM

ReaperWoman

04-09-2007, 05:18 PM

There's a fly on my computer screen that keeps getting a firght when my cursor gets too close to him. It's giving me minutes of entertainment...

Eastern

04-09-2007, 05:35 PM

some of the chats i had during IM ..

ReaperWoman

04-09-2007, 05:47 PM

That fly is till cracking me up... :roflmao:

1nutworld

04-09-2007, 05:57 PM

Her ^^ tormenting a fly with her mouse!

Eastern

04-09-2007, 06:27 PM

laughing at reaperwoman who is soo easily amused.

ReaperWoman

04-09-2007, 06:43 PM

^^^ so, so true... It's just sitting on my task bar, and when I bring the cursor round to the front and move it towrds it, it'll back off a few steps... :rofl:

osuche

04-09-2007, 07:04 PM

Not one damn thing.....but I *am* thinking about finding something that will

ReaperWoman

04-09-2007, 07:23 PM

Do you want to borrow my new pet fly Osuche?

osuche

04-09-2007, 07:27 PM

I dunno...how many words a minute does he type? And does he have a work visa for the US?

:rofl:

ReaperWoman

04-09-2007, 07:32 PM

He's got the work visa, and plenty of relatives over there who'll take him in till he gets his feet under him, but he's not got a very high wpm, I'm afraid. He's also not too clever...

osuche

04-09-2007, 07:53 PM

He's got the work visa, and plenty of relatives over there who'll take him in till he gets his feet under him, but he's not got a very high wpm, I'm afraid. He's also not too clever...

As long as he's cheap I'll take him!! :D

Coaster

04-09-2007, 08:15 PM

The 2 crazy women above me!!^^^^^^^^^^^ :D

IowaMan

04-10-2007, 02:33 PM

IowaMan

04-11-2007, 04:38 PM

Kramer

osuche

04-11-2007, 08:49 PM

Wondering if the guy will come back on Friday....

For me...I laughed when the interview candidate I am bringing in corrected the spelling of his last name from Gorilla...LMAO...spell check got the best of me!

IowaMan

04-12-2007, 06:29 AM

A Playboy Party Joke from the new issue:

It seems George W. Bush has the same problem as his father. Neither knows when to pull out. :roflmao:

1nutworld

04-12-2007, 08:50 AM

Soda! Made me laugh today!

Lady's been beating herself up in various thread's today for no reason what-so-ever! :roflmao:

sodaklostsoul

04-12-2007, 08:52 AM

But I'm having a blast!!!! Uping my post count too!!!!

IowaMan

04-12-2007, 04:56 PM

Talking with the coach of one of the other teams in our Babe Ruth League Baseball league. He was asking me if maybe I would be able to come to some of their practices and help coach his kids on how to hit. The look on his face was priceless when I told him I'd be helping coach my town's team. It was as if he was thinking, "Oh crap! Now those kids are going to be able to hit!" I guess he doesn't realize that I can't swing a bat like I could 20-some years ago. :rofl:

Sure was nice to know that he remembered those days though.

sodaklostsoul

04-13-2007, 09:44 PM

Spaghetti..............two with meatballs and one without!

IowaMan

04-14-2007, 05:46 AM

Wondering if the guy will come back on Friday....

I didn't see him and I woke up gasping and choking like usual in the middle of the night last night so I'm thinking he didn't find that cure for cystic fibrosis for me. Damn miracle workers just ain't what they used to be. :roflmao:

sodaklostsoul

04-14-2007, 10:29 AM

Knowing the Spam Buster would be out killing this AM.

IowaMan

04-15-2007, 04:33 AM

It was actually last night but I laughed while watching "The Great Dictator"

rabbit

04-15-2007, 01:23 PM

Our sheltie puppy jumping on our bed and licking my face mercilessly.

IowaMan

04-16-2007, 04:03 PM

"Blades of Glory"

I nearly snorted soda out of my nose during an early scene where a skating fan threw Will Ferrell her panties. All I could think about was PF. :roflmao:

They were hot pink satin bikinis, in case you wondered PF. :hot:

PantyFanatic

04-16-2007, 07:30 PM

:bite:

:tongue:

IowaMan

04-17-2007, 12:30 PM

Thought you'd like that PF. :D

I heard a song on the radio that I hadn't heard for years, "Good Girls Don't" by The Knack. It reminded me a of girl from back in high school who showed up at one of my baseball games wearing a cutoff t-shirt that said, "Good Girls Don't" on the front and, ".....but I do!" on the back. From what some of my friends told me........ she did. And quite well too. :p

PantyFanatic

04-17-2007, 01:49 PM

Good girls get to go to heaven :)

Bad girls get to go EVERYWHERE :D

;)

1nutworld

04-17-2007, 08:09 PM

IowaMan's "too funny" thread!

IowaMan

04-18-2007, 01:50 PM

"Better than a Mango?" :roflmao:

IowaMan

04-19-2007, 09:25 PM

A guy who just stopped at my house a couple of minutes ago. He stopped to tell me about a leadership and management class that they are having in our town and he asked me if I could speak at the next few meetings. No big deal, could do that kind of thing in my sleep. Then he started making small talk with me and he asked about my health. Of course it turns out he's some sort of "miracle worker" and he guaranteed me that he would go home and read up on cystic fibrosis and that I would be cured by Friday if I let him help me. Says he's cured cancer, diabetes, asthma and many other diseases that have doctors and scientists baffled.

So how about that, I've battled for 39 years to beat this disease and all I really had to do was call this guy. Damn, I can't wait until Friday. :roflmao:
Wondering if the guy will come back on Friday....

Well, he didn't return last Friday as he said he would, but he showed up this afternoon. And what do you know, I'm still not cured. Says he thinks he's got it figured out though but he needs to look thru my cabinets and fridge to see what I've been eating. :roflmao:

Yep, this guy is a real piece of work. :wobbly:

Neige

04-21-2007, 12:52 PM

The little old woman who stopped me on the sidewalk, "Aren't you cold???????"

Good grief, it's 21 degrees C, and I was wearing a button-down shirt, jeans and sensible shoes. I think she would have had a heart attack if she'd seen me in the shorts, tank top and sandals I'd considered wearing instead! :p

Booger

04-21-2007, 06:15 PM