06-29-2006, 10:48 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 3
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Cant cum
Hi everyone. Me and my girl friend have been dating for about two years now. Over that two years, she has frequently attempted to jerk me off and give me blow jobs, but I never seemed to reach an orgasm, ever. Now we just recently attempted to have sex, but I just cant seem to orgasm, and tonight was our second try, and I just went soft after the first minute. Shes depressed because she thinks it's all her and that I'm not attracted to her, but I don't think thats it. Ive never had a problem masturbating, and I've been able to keep myself hard for an extended period of time. Whats wrong with me?
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06-29-2006, 10:52 PM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
Posts: 50,568
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How old are you?
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06-29-2006, 10:56 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 3
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18 since november
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06-29-2006, 10:57 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 3
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I'm sorry if I used inappropriate terminology, but I'm just really frustrated with all of this.
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06-30-2006, 07:00 AM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
Posts: 50,568
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No, no, you are fine. I asked because why a young man can't cum and why an older man can't cum are usually very different reasons.
If you get erections in the morning or in your sleep, you can masturbate to completion alone, then your troubles with having sex/sexual contact are most likely in your head (the one on your shoulders). Stop making orgasm the goal. Explore eachother more and if needed go home and masturbate afterwards.
*side note* if you are 18 and you've been registered for 2 years you need to be
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06-30-2006, 12:52 PM
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is not this trim anymore!
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: New England
Posts: 21,709
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^^^ very smart.
Pretty observant too, huh?
At any rate, Lil's right. If you can achieve orgasm alone, then you're psyching yourself out during sex with your girlfriend. Make sex your journey, and remember that journeys without destination can be the most enjoyable outings.
__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.
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06-30-2006, 05:28 PM
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Naked by Nature
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Colorado
Posts: 226
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Great advice from knowledgeable people. I would say to try and concentrate on makeing her cum and then see if it turns you on to let her watch you rub it.
If that is still too uncomfortable, there is always later as someone mentioned.
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06-30-2006, 08:31 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: midwest
Posts: 637
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If you were just having problems with hand and blow jobs I was going to say that through your masturbation you've "trained" yourself to only respond to one kind of stimulation. But since you're going soft during/before sex I'm going to have to agree with Lilith and say the problem is in your head. The arguement could be made that you aren't ready for sex and the inability to orgasm or keep an erection is your subconsious' not so subtle way of telling you this.
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