Live Chat

Go Back   Pixies Place Forums > Sex Talk > General Chat
User Name
Password


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread Display Modes
  #856  
Old 10-15-2006, 10:16 AM
PantyFanatic's Avatar
PantyFanatic PantyFanatic is offline
1 of 8,111,103,258
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: 41.36N-81.32W
Posts: 21,523
That was my Halloween contribution
__________________
PANTIES
the best thing next to cuchie


"If God didn't want you to play with it, He would have put it between your shoulder blades,..... not at the end of your arm"

Except for speculation, we ONLY have NOW and EACHOTHER!

real world of cyber people ~ Pixies ~ real people of the cyber world
Reply With Quote
  #857  
Old 10-15-2006, 12:11 PM
jseal jseal is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Maryland
Posts: 541,353
Quote:
Originally Posted by PantyFanatic
….. the political future isn't bleak?

PantyFanatic,

Excellento!
__________________
Eudaimonia
Reply With Quote
  #858  
Old 10-15-2006, 08:28 PM
ShadowDancer's Avatar
ShadowDancer ShadowDancer is offline
One Hot Mamma!
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Madisonville, TN
Posts: 1,360
Send a message via MSN to ShadowDancer Send a message via Yahoo to ShadowDancer
Quote:
Originally Posted by sodaklostsoul
That was just plain scary!!!!!



creepy!
__________________
“Sex is one of the most personal things we do as people. To have someone who says she loves you limit how you express yourself in the bedroom is like a small death. It kills the soul.” --Anita Blake to Jason Schuyler in "Blood Noir" by Laurell K. Hamilton
Reply With Quote
  #859  
Old 10-16-2006, 12:30 AM
Oldfart's Avatar
Oldfart Oldfart is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: North Australia
Posts: 17,687
Sadly, probably true.

First female VP?
__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating
Reply With Quote
  #860  
Old 10-18-2006, 07:20 AM
sodaklostsoul's Avatar
sodaklostsoul sodaklostsoul is offline
Missing the Angels
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 10,793
God I hope not.
Reply With Quote
  #861  
Old 10-18-2006, 12:17 PM
jseal jseal is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Maryland
Posts: 541,353
Mid-life Crisis

One day, after 25 years of marriage, I took a good look at my wife one day and said,

"Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde.

Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, and sleeping on a sofa bed.

Aren't older women great. They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis ...
__________________
Eudaimonia
Reply With Quote
  #862  
Old 10-18-2006, 02:28 PM
wyndhy's Avatar
wyndhy wyndhy is offline
pixie of the wood
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 10,575
Send a message via Yahoo to wyndhy
Quote:
Originally Posted by sodaklostsoul
A Cajun walks into a bar ....

lol.
reminds me of one...

a failing city zoo spent their last bit of profits to acquire a female gorilla of a very rare species in the hopes that a new attraction would bring more people to visit the zoo. but, as these things usually go, within a few days the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle and violent. no-one wanted to come to the zoo to see a bitchy gorilla who threw things at the spectators.

upon examination, the zoo vet determined the problem: the gorilla was in heat.

to make matters worse, there weren't any male gorillas of her species available for mating. and with the zoo failing the way it was, there was no way to afford a gorilla "stud".

whilst pondering their problem, the vet noticed kevin, a local farmer's son who came to the big city to work at the zoo after the drought destroyed their last crop. he was a big lad, and—like most farmers—had little sense, but he seemed to be possessed of an ample ability to get along with all the animals at the zoo.

the vet went to the zoo's administrators and told them of him his plan; they all agreed they just might have a cheap solution to the horny gorilla problem. and so, kevin was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $200?

good ol' kev showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

the next day, he announced he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions.

"first," he said, "i don’t want to kiss her... second, you must never tell anyone about this..."


the administration all nodded sagely..."of course, of course. mum's the word."


"and third, you gotta give me another week to come up with the $200."
__________________
Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose
Reply With Quote
  #863  
Old 10-19-2006, 05:59 AM
Oldfart's Avatar
Oldfart Oldfart is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: North Australia
Posts: 17,687
Clever boy, our Kevin.
__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating
Reply With Quote
  #864  
Old 10-22-2006, 03:38 AM
dicksbro's Avatar
dicksbro dicksbro is offline
Just me.
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: West central Illinois
Posts: 590,002
Go Fly a Kite

An old man is in his back yard trying to fly a kite.

He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, but lacking a kite tail, it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries to get the kite up a few more times with no success.

All the while, his old wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do ever ything.

She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You need a piece of tail!" (Silently she thinks, "Or is it a tail piece?")

The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, "Make up your mind, woman! Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."
Reply With Quote
  #865  
Old 10-22-2006, 04:05 AM
Oldfart's Avatar
Oldfart Oldfart is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: North Australia
Posts: 17,687
Very good.
__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating
Reply With Quote
  #866  
Old 10-25-2006, 01:24 AM
Oldfart's Avatar
Oldfart Oldfart is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: North Australia
Posts: 17,687
An oldie but a goodie in our local rag.

A somewhat simple young man decided to go to the Movies, and wished to take his new best friend, a grand champion Bantam Rooster.

Rebuffed unsurprisingly at the ticket counter, he soon returned with the bird stuffed down his trousers.

He settled in next to a pair of little old ladies, and sure enough, as the house lights went down he undid his flies so the bird could watch the movie as well.

The nearest old dear said to her friend "The man beside me has undone his trousers and his cock is sticking out"

Her friend replied "Now Mabel, you've seen enough of those in your lifetime. What's the problem here?"

Mabel said"











































"But this one's eating my popcorn!"
__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating
Reply With Quote
  #867  
Old 10-25-2006, 05:25 AM
sodaklostsoul's Avatar
sodaklostsoul sodaklostsoul is offline
Missing the Angels
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 10,793
Lmao
Reply With Quote
  #868  
Old 10-25-2006, 06:29 AM
Mark Vieth's Avatar
Mark Vieth Mark Vieth is offline
Freeze!
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 482
Send a message via MSN to Mark Vieth
This one is short and sweet. I actually heard it in the movie "keeping mum". Rowan Atkinson plays the local priest and on his search to find some jokes he comes across this little gem.

A priest, a rabbi and a buddhist monk go into a bar.
The barman sees them and says, what is this some kind of joke?
Reply With Quote
  #869  
Old 10-25-2006, 06:43 AM
dicksbro's Avatar
dicksbro dicksbro is offline
Just me.
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: West central Illinois
Posts: 590,002
WINE, WOMEN and HAIR

Women, Wine & Hair.....

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked

"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.

The homeless woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman
looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."
Reply With Quote
  #870  
Old 10-25-2006, 06:49 AM
dicksbro's Avatar
dicksbro dicksbro is offline
Just me.
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: West central Illinois
Posts: 590,002
Oh No, Not More Blonde Jokes!

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?

They went to see "Closed for the Winter."

***************

Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?

She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was Chinese.

***************

Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?

There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.

*****************

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.

He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.

Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.

****************

A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.

The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye.

The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters.

As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.

"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting glasses."

"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames."

****************

A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, "That's a thermos . . . it keeps some things hot and some things cold."

"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.

Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?" he asked.

"Why, that's a thermos . . . it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied.

Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"

The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee."

***************

Saved the Best for Last!

This has to be one of the best blonde jokes around. This should make all you technologically challenged people feel GOOD:

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features. Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.

The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he said, "how do you like your new phone?"

Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though..."

"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.

"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:20 AM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.10
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.