Joke?

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

The Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar ...



... it was a tense situation.

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Eudaimonia

After Nigeria was eliminated from the world cup, the Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that travelled to Brazil.

He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Lol!

good one OF

Maybe it's just me...

Attached Images

dark humor.jpg (10.5 KB, 246 views)

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

That certainly lightened things up!

He's a bright lad.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Would you say, "A shining example? Sunshine on a cloudy day?"

Sunshine on a cloudy day? Isn't that "My Girl"? Scotz isn't a girl.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

A Chinese, Frenchman, Australian and a Muslim are on holiday and enjoying the sights off the ‘End of the World Cliffs’ in Sagres, Portugal.

They were standing at the edge of a cliff viewing the sea when the Chinese suddenly throws a wad of money off the cliff.

"Why did you do that?" ask the others.

"We have so much money in China and I can afford to do it" says the Chinese.

"Ok" says the Frenchman and throws a bottle of champagne off the cliff into the sea, saying "We have so much champagne in France and I can afford to do it."

The Muslim looks at the Australian and says –

"Don't you fucking dare!"

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.

As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, and asked him something in French (which Murphy could not understand), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down.

He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet café that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.

She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the café closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business

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Eudaimonia

Note to self, French women are scary.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating