Yeah, yeah, this question has probably been flogged to death, but a quick search didn't yield me any answers so I thought I'd ask.

I have an inexperienced partner, and while she loves sex (wants it more often than me even sometimes), she has difficulty telling what's an orgasm and what isn't, if indeed she has experienced one. Having never been female myself, I would of course have no way of beginning to describe it. I originally told her that if she didn't know, she probably hadn't had one. However, she can't go without a pillow to smother herself in lest she wake the neighborhood, and she usually at least once or twice during sex will ask me to stop for a few minutes. She claims that it feels "too good" and she "can't take it," which of course puzzles both of us.

I'm very agreeable so it doesn't bother me to wait once in a while, but I know that when us guys have orgasms we're mostly incapable of anything for a minute or two, and if it's the same way for women then this would be a sign. Similarly, sometimes (but not always) she's completely exhausted after sex, just like I feel after an orgasm. I'm thinking that if she only does a fraction of the "work" and still gets off like that, there's gotta be some orgasmic muscle spasming involved.

And then there's the whole multiple orgasms thing. So needless to say I am stumped. I realize there's probably no easy answer to this, but I'd still like to hear some thoughts from more experienced people. =) Thanks!

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I like to fuck!

My first thought was also..well if she didn't know then..... but, hey you never know, maybe she really just dosn't know what to feel for if she's quite young or inexperienced.

When I cum, the best way to describe it.....right before it's like standing on a ledge over looking the ocean..dying to jump into the waves......the desire to jump growing and growing....untill, when I finally cum..instead of jumping the entire sea swells and just overtakes me...right before cumming I can feel the waves of pleasure tingle through my body....increasing in intensity...and moving out from center then rushing back in a flood of release....usually acompanied by much moaning and screaming...
But then again..there are also defferent types of orgasms...

Maybe you should experiment with a night just for her..Pleasure her with your fingers and mouth and experiment to see her reactions...Then hopefully introducing her to what an orgasm feels like.

Good luck Hun, hope this helps.
~Eliza

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"Only the united beat of sex and heart together can create ecstasy" ~Anaïs Nin


"The full moon is calling, the fever is high.
And the wicked wind whispers and moans.
You got your demons, you got desires
Well, I got a few of my own"
~The Eagles

If it's fun, if she's happy, don't sweat it.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

For me there is a tingling and a tightening feeling and like Eliza says it just gets more and more intense. At times you feel as if you can't take it for one more minute and then the waves or spasms begin. After I am very sensitive to touch, clittorally speaking. I very rarely cum without clittoral stimulation so if you are having straight intercourse and not touching her clit she may be getting close but not pushed over the edge. I think if you perform oral sex, slipping a finger in, you will find out if she is indeed climaxing.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

I agree with this.

When I started having sex, it was a while before I would let myself "go", it was so intense I actually was afraid. My lover had great patience, but finally he said just let it go and it was amazing...i shudder when I cum. I get vaginal orgasms but the4y are very rare, I can cum easily with clitoral stimulation, so as Lilith said try that, or try a vibrator, well lubed and lighty massaging her clit. But the most important thing in my opion, is to talk her through it telling her that she is ok...

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Susan

Yorb.......I've heard it said...."when she does, she'll know"........but that's not always the case in inexperience!

It varies from one to another....but all in all the end result is complete and utter satisfaction!

There is a beginning....a middle...and an end! A rise....a release....and a rest!

From your explaination it sounds to me like she's there or has been there....and possibly, on a few occasions.....not quite! With practice (lol)....she'll be able to determine if more stimulation is necessary to get to that peak....that she'll come to understand IS the point that will take her over the egde!

Doesn't sound to me like you have anything to ponder though.......your girl sounds very sexually oriented....and with time she'll know herself well enough to lead the both of you to a glorious exhaustion!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Thanks for the responses. =) I'm an extremely oral person so she usually gets 10 minutes of tongue play first, with some fingers. =)

As for the clitoral stimulation, hell she'll barely let me in without touching. =P One night I told her we were going to try it, just for the sake of expirement, without any touching. She went crazy. =P We derive from this that she's a very touch-oriented person.

Suzy like you said, I thought that when she "couldn't take it" and had to stop was when she just wasn't letting it come. So I told her to relax when it got like that, and I was gentle. But it seems to just get more painful. I don't know. =( Thanks again though.

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I like to fuck!

are you using condoms??????

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

We've tried with and without (she's on the pill), she generally prefers without though.

And yes, she is extremely sexually oriented. =) It's great. =D

As for the both of us being gloriously exhausted, that has happened. =) Usually it's either me or her though, and when it's her I feel a sense of accomplishment. Can someone explain the break thing to me though? She's the first girl I've seen this with, but I remember friends telling me about girls they've had that did this too, and it puzzled them. Occasionally she'll want to stop and just snuggle, which is fine by me (a guy needs his rest!) but just a moment ago she was writhing and screaming in pleasure. Women are so complicated! It's a good thing, of course.

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I like to fuck!