Spin!

[pascal]

How about this for a game:

Someone posts a question on perhaps a statement.

The next person posts a "politicians" answer/responce and then a question/statement of their own.

eg question: "Why were your flies undone when i walked in on you watching baywatch?"


answer: "You should be pleased my flies were undone beacuse it demonstrates that i don't wish to waste any time should you require my attention (wink). Is is pure coincedence that David hastlefoff was running across the creen in slomo while wearing only his skimpy red swim-shorts at this particular time."

and the next question

"Why do you keep smiling at that cute young waitress/waiter?"

[dicksbro]

Answer: I always believe that we who are servants of the public, must be especially vigilant in demonstrating our affection for our constituents in the service industries.

Question: What color shorts/panties do you prefer?

[pascal]

Answer: am a great believer in equal opportunities.... i love all panties as long as they are around your ankles

question: is it true that you were caught solisiting for sex at the public toilets in the park?

[jseal]

Answer: I campaigned on a platform of cleaning up our public facilities, and I will return again and again to investigate until we succeed!


Question: Why do you miss so many days while the legislature is in session?

[dicksbro]

Answer: Taking time to research the great issues facing us today is an essential part of the job of serving the folks back home.

Question: How do you feel about life, the universer and everything?

[pascal]

IAnswer : think you will find it is not what i think that is important - i am merely here to echo the voice of the electorate.

Question: Yes or no - have you or have you not, ever had sex with a call gorl? (gorl?... must be from new york, i mean girl)

[Lilith]

Answer: No and yes. On the night in question I believe I was in fact in the presence of a girl who was called however I adamantly deny being the one to place such a call.


Question: What would it cost me to get a plaster cast of your penis to sell on eBay?

[pascal]

Answer: although i would take no personal gratification from such an activity normally, i can see that a suitable donation could be made to charity. And if you could ensure the cast is of a suitable size i guess that would also generate more income. I will leave it in your suitable hands.

Question: What were yo doing last night between the hours of 1 and 3 am?

[rabbit]

Answer: I was working hard on new legislation to improve the lives of Americans everywhere.

Question: What was the nature of your relations with Ms. Lewinsky?

[wyndhy]

I defer to my wife. :p:D



Why do politics make for strange bedfellows?

[jseal]

Answer: It turns out that strange swingers make the best politicians.


Question: How did you break into politics?

[gekkogecko]

Answer: I campaigned on a platform of raising public awareness of the plight of blind, orphaned reptiles all across this great country. And the reptiles responded.

Question: Where do you stand on the Amish question?

[pascal]

Answer: I am in favour of it.

Regarding the Amish answer however, i think it would be unfair to comment until a full and independant review has been undertaken by a fair and independant body (chaired by my close sicilian friend Alfonso Liggio - hope the donation was appreciated Alfonso)

Question - are you in favour of prostitution?

[dicksbro]

Answer: I think this is a subject that required immense personal study, carefully considering all the potential ramifications of any decision. I will be proposing a select legislative committee be formed to consider the issue more fully.

Question: Which is better for the country ... higher taxes or less spending?

[Pita]

Answer: I see the merits of both. I mean if We raise taxes that will cut down on the public going out to do needless spending, and I'm all in favor of that. :thumb: Of course We would cut down on spending as well and only spend that which We have raised from the public. Which would be good for the government. Right? :D

Question: How can we stop global warming?

[jseal]

Answer: Global Warming is a problem which will require a global effort to resolve. Until that political will is achieved local efforts will be unsuccessful.


Question: What is you position on Federal term limits?

[pascal]

answer: my position is to hold my hands togeather in front of me, lean forward and frown slightly, so that when i speek slowly and deliberately it will sound like my oppinion is based on inteligence rather than blind panic.

question: is felation sex and if not what are my chances if i ask Pixie Sprite not to have sex with me?

[gekkogecko]

The polls and voter surveys indicate that the majority of the American public considers that a matter of personal concience. Government should not try to regulate the exchange of oral sex between Pascal and Pixie Sprite.

Question: Should the national government institute a "tropical storm tax" to prevent or reduce the damage done by the illegal immigration of tropical systems from the Atlantic accross our borders?

[osuche]

Illegal immigration is certainly troubling, and the government does not have enough money to set up an adequate boarder patrol along the Gulf seabard, which is the entry point for both benign and terrorist tropical storms. I recommend we increase taxes and institute the Draft so that we can properly protect our borders from all intruders, corporeal or no.


Are you in favor of gay marriage?

[jseal]

Answer: I categorically deny any false rumors spread by my partisan opponents.


Question: Is it true that your staff “sexed up” your electronic encyclopedia entry?

[osuche]

If you liked the encyclopedia entry, then you can safely assume it was all true. If you didn't like it, then I have evidence showing that my opponent actually doctored up the encyclopedia entry in order to discredit me.


Have you ever met Osama bin Laden?

[WildIrish]

All of the information provided to date indicates that such a person does exist and that he has, indeed, been met. However, the information has not yet been confirmed to be authentic, therefore we're proceeding on the assumption that such a meeting may or may not have actually taken place.


Do vaginas secrete tasty liquids when tongues are applied directly to them?

[dicksbro]

This is an area of research that I would like to use my good office to pursue and investigate thoroughly. I think it's important that political leadership in this field is essential to assure that the public can be assured their tax dollars are being effectively used and offer my services to further that study.

How do you feel about ham and beans?

[osuche]

[to Islamic and/or Jewish interest group] Beans don't need ham. After all, how do you think the precious pig feels about being combined with legumes? Beans can be tasty with hot sauce or with cheese, but ham is definately not needed. Americans should become more moderate in their consumption of ham and beans. When I am made President, I will ban all ham from cans of beans as a testament to the religious sensitivity of the American people.

Should the city water system be privatized?

[WildIrish]

The ongoing debate about privatizing the city's water supply boils down to two opposing points.

One plan merely expands the water supply and associated distribution network framework to include a role for personal water investment accounts. In this view, the surplus water doesn’t actually leave the city water supply, but remains in the personal liquid account part of the program and is used solely for retirement water consumption benefits. .

However, under the other plan, by contrast, the surplus water is not used for retirement water consumption benefits at all, but is diverted out of the city water supply and used to pay down the national water supply debt.



Should a finger be introduced into the anus during oral sex?

[dicksbro]

Of course, the question was ambiguous since it wasn't specified whose anus the finger would be introduced into. That ambiguity makes it more difficult to be definitive in responding to this question, however, it is certainly a penetrating question that deserves more attention.

In view of the obesity problem, should fast food use be regulated?

[osuche]

America is the land of the free. The government should not limit Americans' access to food of any type. However, fast food restaurants should provide more healthy options should the American choose to eat more healthy. Let's bring more choice to the American public!

What should be done about E. Coli in spinach?

[gekkogecko]

The spinach shortage is a growing crisis, threatening the spinach-independence of future generations. Spinach use is increasing each year. If America doesn't find E. coli-free spinach soon, this country will be forced to rely on imported spinach, leaving her vulnerable to political manipulation of the spinach supply, as happened with with oil supplies with such disasterous results during the OPEC oil embargo during the early 1970s.

America needs more domestic sources of E. coli free spinach. As a partial answer, I propose a comprehensive approach, including investigating alternative spinach sources. These would include, but are not limited to, geothermal spinach; solar spinach; wind-power spinach; nuclear spinach; and lastly, exploration of the Alaskan spinach reserves.

Question: how would direct the Department of Homeland Security to respond to the growing threat from fanatical groups to tie down our public servants, and tickle them with feather dusters?

[jseal]

Answer: I propose that all Feather Duster operators be licensed, and unlicensed Feather Duster operators be sentenced by Military Tribunals to appropriate prison terms.


Question: What can be done about the problem of Science as a Creed?

[alspals69]

A - I feel it is inappropriate to comment specificaly on this issue until the senate committee has reported back.

I can say that i have every confidence that once the facts have been obtained, and the Creed to Science ratio is know that it will enable this government to develop a policy that will be appropriate at that moment in time.

Should this entail unilateral action against Iran, then this will be because there will be compelling evidence that this action is essential to bring the redress the creed/science balance. That or they just came up in the white house social committee "invasion of the month" sweepstake (we really must stop printing that on official paper).

Q - what is the time?

[jseal]

Answer: It is time to replace the short sighted, inconsistent policies of the other party with the balanced and carefully considered guidelines which I promise to implement after being elected..


Question: What is your position on monetary policy?[/QUOTE]

[WildIrish]

A - The more moderate pace of expansion and the stability in resource utilization, when coupled with less pressure from the prices of energy and other commodities, should contribute to an environment in which inflation expectations are contained and inflation edges lower. Moreover, ongoing solid gains in productivity should work to limit increases in unit labor costs.

That having been said, as the rate of increase decreases, or moderates for that matter, the sole purpose of accentuating the positive can only occur by eliminating the negative. But don't mess with Mister Inbetween. That's another discussion altogether. One that would definately warrent it's own focus group.


Q - Do elevated testosterone levels contribute to Global Warming?

[jseal]

Answer: Current research indicates that elevated testosterone does tend to “pump up” the amount of hot air in the atmosphere.


Question: What is your position on paid overtime?

[alspals69]

answer: if you pay me overtime, i will assume any postion yowant me too ;)

question: why has the washing up not been done yet?

[WildIrish]

A - Studies such as that conducuted by The European Institute of Cleanliness make it absolutely clear that most are opposed to washing up of any kind and by whomsoever perpetrated. At the same time they believe that there is a serious imbalance and a calculated one-sidedness in the portrayal of this measure.

Q - Have DIY tv shows led to a shift away from off-white walls to vivid colors?

[dicksbro]

A. Political correctness has moved out of the beltway and into the lives of most Americans is one perspective on this cultural shift.

Q. Do you anticipate global consensus on the importance of preserving the snail darter species?

[jseal]

Answer: I propose that a Blue Ribbon commission assembled to determine how best to export the snail darters to other countries so that a truly global consensus for preserving this endangered species can be built.


Question: What is your position on eliminating elections altogether – on the basis that they get in the way of day to day living?

[WildIrish]

A - Americans have neither the time nor the ability to grasp the complexities of so many issues to make informed and educated decisions like this. That's why we are here. They trust us to handle things so they don't have to. It's my belief that the way of the future will eliminate the need for citizens to vote altogether. Let us make these decisions. Let us do the job you put us here for!

Q - Are powdered wigs making a comeback?

[jseal]

Answer: The Powdered Whig Party has always taken a principled position on both curds and whey.



Question: What can be done about all that litter?

[dicksbro]

A: Some have proposed bigger litter boxes, but while my research isn't complete yet, I'm thinking corks offer one possible alternative.

Q: What is your position on mass transit?

[WildIrish]

A - Being from Connecticut, and having spent a significant amount of that time in Danbury, I'm quick to quote Jefferson's 1802 Letter to Danbury Baptist Association in which he mentions "Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man & his god, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, thus building a wall of separation between church and state." henceforth, it would be unconstitutional of me to endorse mass transit.

Q - Are you in favor of offering Historic Tax Credits?

[dicksbro]

Q - Are you in favor of offering Historic Tax Credits?

A. The answer to this is relative. Those in my party would call them historic, but, being slow to grasp the significance of my proposals, the opposition will attempt to paint them in a negative light. It's unfortunate, but the other party is always slow to grasp the significance of important proposals.

Q. What is your position on public nudity?

[jseal]

Answer: Prone while there are no witnesses. Upright otherwise.



Question: What can be done to improve the lot of others?

[dicksbro]

A. Keeping the lot mowed and planting flowers can do a lot to improve the lots of others. It can even help your own lot.

Q. Do you consider your positions to be extreme?

[jseal]

Answer: A difficult question to answer correctly, as it depends upon what one means by the word “extreme”. Perhaps we could have a panel review the word and report back.



Question: How often should farmers rotate their crops?

[WildIrish]

A - Proposals to limit the terms of farmer's crops have been the subject of public policy debate since 1990, when citizen initiatives limiting the terms of crops were passed by voters in California, Colorado and Oklahoma. Subsequently, 18 other states adopted crop term limits, but in four - Massachusetts, Oregon, Washington and Wyoming - crop term limits were thrown out by the state supreme courts, and they have been repealed by the farmers in Idaho and Utah. That leaves 15 states with crop term limits for farmers.


Q - What're your thoughts regarding off-shore golf courses?

[osuche]

A -- Environmentally friendly golf courses are rare, given the fertilizers and other chemicals that must be employed to keep a golf course looking good. Additionally, golf courses are a major cause of deforestation in the MidWest and Northeast, and contribute to global warming. If golf courses can be driven off-shore, this trend will put the negative effects of golf courses off of American soil. Let the Mexicans suffer the chemicals and global warming! Thus, I am in favor of moving most golf courses off shore.


How do you feel about gasoline taxes and their impact on the economy?

[dicksbro]

A. Of course, we must worry that gasoline taxes are used only for highway maintenance and not simply to study the aerodynamics of frisbies or to increase the perks for elected officials.

Q. How do you feel about the government regulating your diet?

[rabbit]

A: It was a difficult decision but we must increase everyone's disposable income by having them spend less on food.

Q: Did you have sexual relations with Ms. Lewinsky?

[dicksbro]

A. Who? Me? :blink: That is a terrible, malicious rumor spread by my devious and deceitful opponents and spread by their paid political henchmen desguised as reporters.

Besides ... how are you defining sexual? :confused:

Q. Should political debates be held in the nude?

[gekkogecko]

It's not so much a question of nude debates themselves. It's more a question of who gets to be nude during the debates. Are the pollesters to be nude? The audience? The participants? If we allow nude debates, we risk a slippery slope of nudity the <strike> should </strike> might continue until the whole country is nude, all the time.

Question: Should the use of cell phones during sex be regulated?

[jseal]

Answer: Not regulated - mandated. What better way is there for the government get the goods on you?


Question: What is your position on farm policy?

[dicksbro]

A: I think it's a good idea.

Q: How do you feel about controls on the production of pretzels?

[jseal]

Answer: They should be lifted! The pretzel emergency is but a distant memory.


Question: Do you favor outlawing fountain pens?

[osuche]

FOuntain pens are environmentally unfriendly, create toxic waste, and contribute to global warming.

Is it unprofessional for a Senator to sleep with his aide?

[jseal]

Answer: I am uncertain if it is considered unprofessional, but I have been told that if you fail to reinsert your hearing aid upon arising, it can make for a noisy breakfast.


Question: Is there any truth to the rumors that you favor changing the national anthem to ABBA’s “Super Trouper”?

[WildIrish]

A - Clearly a comment taken out of context, for everyone knows that "Fernando" is a much better song for someone trying to appeal to the increasing Hispanic demographic.

Q - Should the US government issue a second "Amnesty" opportunity for undocumented immigrants residing in America?

[wyndhy]

i'm nasty too and i didn't even get a first opportunity! outrage!

i pledge to find these undocumented deviant residers in america. i shall share my findings with all others who claim "i'm natsy" before the world.



should "the gays" be allowed to plug up our thoroughfares with pride parades?

[gekkogecko]

We are approaching the whole "gay pride parade" from the wrong angle. It's not a question of clogging up the thoroughfares, rather it's a question of the moste efficient use of said thoroughfares. See, the real problem is the amount of traffic that clogs up the thoroughfares when any given group wishes to excersize their right of free speech, and build community spirit by holding a parade. If we could significantly reduce the amount of commuter traffic on our streets, then the same streets would be available for such community-building efforts.

I propose a bold solution to the traffic problem: two-day work weeks, and five day weekends. By reducing the amount of commuter traffic on public roads to just two days a week, we will become a stronger, better country.

Question: How would you deal with the annual problem caused by the onset of animal hibernation, and consequent lack of productivity in winter months?

[jseal]

Answer: Animal winter productivity can be easily improved by eliminating football games on Sunday and Monday. The absentee rates by those drunken animals on following days will drop dramatically!


Question: Should Sex Ed include practical Lab exercises?

[gekkogecko]

Question: Should Sex Ed include practical Lab exercises?

Statistics recently released by the Department of Health & Human Services show the increasing rate of Laborador Retriever obeisity. This is turn, causes many long term health problems among America's Laborador Retriever population. I propose a comprehemsive program to encourage fitness of not only Labroador Retrievers, but all Canine Americans. Such a program would naturally include sex education as part of an overall health and fitness program.

Question: Should the candidates on this particular thread engage in a series of public debates to decide the question "How much sex is enough?"

[WildIrish]

A - An issue this important should definately involve polling the asses. And those that wish to oversee that process should eliminate the potential blurring of the figures by utilizing a focus group.

Q - Is cunny juice best drank right from the cuntainer?

[jseal]

Answer: Yes. All my research indicates that Fresh = Best.


Question: Where do you stand on the issue of Tube Steak?

[dicksbro]

A. Certainly, if you cun. It's an issue that can be licked if only we put our tongues to it.

Q. Should there be limits on how much sex a person can have during a given day?

[gekkogecko]

History is full of examples of the failure of the planned economy model of sexual activity. A free market of sexual activity, including competition, the unregulated exchange of ideas, and free will laborers is simply the tried-and-true American way.

Question: Do you smoke after sex?

[WildIrish]

Question: Do you smoke after sex?


Only when I've gone too fast. :roflmao:



Q - What do you think about potable water testing?

[dicksbro]

A. I think once water's been in the "pot," it should be flushed and not played with.

Q. What will you do for your district if elected?

[osuche]

I'll refuse to regulate sex, marriage, religion...and I'll promise not to molest my boy pages!

Do you believe in presidential term limits?

[dicksbro]

A. I once heard a suggestion that to avoid "lame duck" status and, the desire to increase wealth after office, the terms should be limited to one six-year term with a substaintial increase in retirement benefits and rules against future political involvement after retirement. I thought that was an interesting idea.

Q. Should teaching people a "second language" be mandatory?

[gekkogecko]

Any father hammering a board, missing, and hitting his thumb instead is perfectly capable of yelling "SHIT!". Teaching youngsters a foul language happens naturally, why should we involve the legislature, courts or various child protective beaucracies?

Question: Is it time for the problem of urban sprawl to be handled on a national level?

[jseal]

Answer: Only if we are ready for federally managed urban sprawl.


Question: Is local government obsolete?

[dicksbro]

A: No, I'd say loco government seems to be on the rise. Of course, I credit that to my opposition.


Oh, you said local government.

Q: Should campaigning be limited to the last two weeks before an election?

[jseal]

Answer: All of the incumbents think that is a great idea! :D


Question: If elected will you vote to fund teaching music in schools?

[rabbit]

A: Music is indeed an important subject and I believe students should be able to take music classes if they want.

Q: Have you ever used drugs before?

[alspals69]

a - i would respond happily to that question if only this strange foggyness of mind would clear and i could actually recall the honest answer :)

Q - if you do something with your left hand, it feels like someone else does it (or so i am told). Should it be complsory for everything to be done left handed, and would it be more likely to get done? eg vacuuming.

[rabbit]

A: I think the scientists need to study that further.

Q: Did you have sex with Ms Lewinsky?

[gekkogecko]

Q: Did you have sex with Ms Lewinsky?

A: When you say "Ms Lewinsky", just what do you mean?

Q: Have you, or any of your campaign staff misused laboratory equipment, including, but not limited to, the famous "chicken gun", during this campaign season?

[osuche]

I disavow all knowledge of the Chicken Gun.

Q: How do you feel about political ads on TV?

[jseal]

A: Pretty good right about now.


Q: Would you like to have a third major political party?

[osuche]

Given that people don't show up to vote for the two parties we have currently, a third party is unlikely to draw significant support.

How do you feel about protecting the sanctity of marriage through legislation?

[jseal]

A: If we can agree that sanctity means state of being holy or sacred, or characterizing holiness or godliness, then I might question a bit the wisdom of “protecting” that state through legislation.


Q: Is it true that we are better off for the elections?

[WildIrish]

A very recent polling indickates that most are better ON an erection. This study includes but is not limited to a 50% margarine of error.


Should a national program involving driving backwards one day per week be instilled to remind people that hindsight is a very important part of moving forward?

[gekkogecko]

A: Hindsight is all very well and good, but we need to be moving forward, not looking backward.

Q: Now that you've won the election for Chief Executive Perv, what will your administration do during your first 100 days in office?

[WildIrish]

Q: Now that you've won the election for Chief Executive Perv, what will your administration do during your first 100 days in office?


A: My ministrations will most definately be hands-on, with diligent attention paid to those under me.


Q: On the topic of a creamy cunny...should a mandatory clean-up order be issued? And how exactly would that interact with a Brownfields site?

[osuche]

Cleanup should be conducted every place cleanup is needed. Maybe twice, just to make sure. ;)


How do you feel about the Toys for Hotties Christmas drive?

[dicksbro]

A: I think as long as the toys are probing in nature and hold the promise of deeply penetrating satifaction, then Toys for Hotties should be firmly supported in a straight and upright way.

Q: Should there be a curfew for teenagers?

[osuche]

Depends on whether you want them to be murderers and drunkards or not


Should people be able to vote for elections over the Internet?

[gekkogecko]

The recent issues surrounding electronic voting are complex, and not easily resolved. At the core of the problems is the trust factor. Until we have a verifiable, paper internet, electronic voting is too subject to fraud and abuse.



What about you, the person? How do you best serve the voters' sex lives?

[dicksbro]

** BUMP **

A: I'm proposing a new piece of legislation I'm calling the "A Work And PlAy From hOme (AWAPAFO)" initiative to reduce the need for so many vehicles on the roads.

Q: Should visual aids be provided for sex education classes in our schools?

[kleclere]

Answer: I think they should have visual aids.

Question: Is there to much politically correctness?

[dicksbro]

ANSWER: Regarding political correctness, it's reassuring that seldom are politicians correct in anything they say.

QUESTION: Should free Photo IDs be provided to voters to be shown at elections to reduce the risk of voter fraud.

[kleclere]

Answer: I feel you should have to produce a photo ID to vote.


Question: Should you be forced to have insurance if you can't afford it?

[dicksbro]

Answer: The simple solution is, if you can't afford insurance, don't get sick or have accidents.

Question: Should there be zoning laws?

[gekkogecko]

Anatomical differences make it impossible to compare men's and women's erogenous zones, and regulation of these erogenous zones is a matter of private conscience.

What's your position on the issue of anti-PDA laws?

[dicksbro]

I don't think that there should be any regulations restricting people regarding what letters they are allowed to use. Some people may prefer P's, D's and A's rather than G's, R's or Q's. I may not like the letters you use, but I defend your right to use them. :boink:

How do you feel about supporting pork barrel projects?

[kleclere]

I think the government needs to get a handle on their spending.



Are we alone in this universe?

[dicksbro]

No, we're not. There are lots of other websites that have people visiting them who have not yet visited or joined Pixies Place. We hope, however, that many of them will come to realization that life just doesn't seem complete without Pixies Place.

What is your position on nudity in public?

[osuche]

Don't mind it, but very unlikely to do it myself.

How do you feel about neighbors who have opinions about your landscaping and yard?

[dicksbro]

I believe the constitution guarentees that anyone who likes my yard's landscaping should be heard.

What is your position on teaching the Kama Sutra to kids in elementary school?

[gekkogecko]

I only appeared to be smoking the Kama Sutra and the elementary school kids, but it doesn't count, because I didn't inhale.

Why do you feel that plowing a furrow of salt down the middle of Carthage was a good idea?

[dicksbro]

I think anything done to help keep the roads from getting slick from sleet and snow is worthwhile.

To avoid the risk of terrorist bombs on airplanes, should passengers and crew be required to fly nude?

[gekkogecko]

Public nudity is already enforced by the TSA, so why shouldn't these scans be made part of the public record? They should be published weekly in the Federal Register, and as your elected leader, I'll not only appoint an Attorney General to work on the thorny issues of government endorsement of pornography. In fact, I'll appoint a task force to look into this issue immediately. Perhaps a pornography Czar should even be under consideration.

Now, onto the question of trout-whacking...

[dicksbro]

I don't believe it's in the government's interest to try and control when or how fish masturbate.

Should clothing stores be required to eliminate the practice of providing only "male" and "female" changing rooms and be required to also provide "couple" changing rooms?

[dicksbro]

I believe at least a couple of changing rooms should be provided.

Should morning coffee be provided by the government as a basic and fundamental right?