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View Full Version : things you can't do on a water bed!


texascubfan
10-13-2004, 02:31 PM
let's see how many things we can think of NOT to do on a waterbed...

You definitely should NOT play lawn darts!

WildIrish
10-13-2004, 02:41 PM
You most assuredly cannot slip out of your wife after having sharpened your penis to a fine point.

Pita
10-13-2004, 02:59 PM
^^^^:eek:^^^^


It's not a good idea to wear those spiked fuck me shoes when in a waterbed.

WildIrish
10-13-2004, 03:02 PM
It's not a good idea to wear those spiked fuck me shoes when in a waterbed.


I know. :rolleyes:


I mean, yeah...you're probably right! :D



It's not advisable to joust in your waterbed either. As a matter of fact...that one might even be on the warning label.

osuche
10-13-2004, 03:14 PM
You can't leave the candles on the waterbed...they might burn through the plastic and cause a flood. :yikes:

Pita
10-13-2004, 03:14 PM
It's not a good idea to play golf on your waterbed.

WildIrish
10-13-2004, 03:16 PM
Osuche might find this one particularily useful...


You can't rake your waterbed. :D

osuche
10-13-2004, 03:22 PM
Osuche might find this one particularily useful...


You can't rake your waterbed. :D

That's why I spend my nekkid leaf time outside. :) Right where the neighbors' kids can see me.

You can't use any positions that require significant leverage on a waterbed.... :hot:

dicksbro
10-13-2004, 03:25 PM
This is important ...

You can't flip the mattress over if you're uncomfortable. ;)

osuche
10-13-2004, 09:46 PM
<-- Needs to do some hands-on research to determine what cannot be done. :D

Mercury_Maniac
10-13-2004, 10:01 PM
Its definitely not a practical place to setup domino's

and

Its not a place for juggling torches!

PantyFanatic
10-13-2004, 11:25 PM
You can't ice skate on your water bed. :eek:

.....at least not in the spring. :fish:

cbass1976
10-13-2004, 11:33 PM
fish

BlondeCurlGirl
10-14-2004, 12:46 AM
You can't stand on your head on your water bed..

Catch22
10-14-2004, 12:58 AM
You most assuredly cannot slip out of your wife after having sharpened your penis to a fine point.


Ah from guns to bayonets WI. Your wicked. When you climb into bed with you Mrs do you cry out "Once more into the breach."?

boilergirl1
10-14-2004, 02:51 AM
:boobs: You cannot sleep in one filled with water that's not heated........(at least not, and awaken well rested and limber!!) :fish:

dicksbro
10-14-2004, 03:33 AM
You shouldn't let pet unicorns lay on the bed. :rolleyes:

Pita
10-14-2004, 10:09 AM
It's not a good idea to have a bunch of cats on your waterbed.

osuche
10-14-2004, 12:04 PM
You cannot play with pins on your water bed.....so acupuncture treatments are out. :p

dicksbro
10-14-2004, 12:11 PM
Easily use it as a source of drinking water if you wake up a bit thirsty.

WildIrish
10-14-2004, 12:18 PM
You cannot use the spiked choke collar on your lover while on the waterbed.

osuche
10-14-2004, 12:34 PM
You cannot use the spiked choke collar on your lover while on the waterbed.

As long as your neck is supported by my...ummm...thigh ;) ...We should be OK.

WildIrish
10-14-2004, 01:51 PM
As long as your neck is supported by my...ummm...thigh ;) ...We should be OK.


Well...that certainly was stimulating. :slurp:

Aqua
10-14-2004, 02:10 PM
You can never find a good rhythm on a waterbed... the waves come back and screw it up.

osuche
10-14-2004, 03:04 PM
Put fish inside the water bed and then expect a restful night's sleep

Aqua
10-14-2004, 03:11 PM
Put fish inside the water bed and then expect a restful night's sleep
LMAO.... I'll guarantee it... Put Fish in your waterbed and you will not get much sleep at all.. :p

osuche
10-14-2004, 03:16 PM
Hmmmm.....why do I have the sudden urge to go on a fishing trip?

fredchabotnick
10-14-2004, 10:09 PM
You can't perform open heart surgery on a waterbed.
Well, not and expect good results.

imaginewithme
10-14-2004, 10:10 PM
You can never find a good rhythm on a waterbed... the waves come back and screw it up.

Yep.....had that problem while on vacation......

Coaster
10-14-2004, 10:19 PM
You can never find a good rhythm on a waterbed... the waves come back and screw it up.

Oh yes you can.............. just need more practice! :sex:

Glyndwr
10-15-2004, 04:59 AM
You can't wear spurs to bed and expect to wake up dry

WildIrish
10-15-2004, 07:18 AM
You can not set your branding iron down on a waterbed.

Pita
10-15-2004, 07:21 AM
It's not a good idea to use your waterbed as a pincushion while sewing.

dicksbro
10-17-2004, 07:43 AM
It's not a good idea to leave the drain hole open while filling the bed with water.

darogle
10-17-2004, 12:57 PM
waterbeds don't make a good place to build a bonfire and roast marshmallows.

dicksbro
10-17-2004, 03:15 PM
You should not freeze the water in lieu of turning on the air conditioner.

dreamgurl
10-17-2004, 03:32 PM
you should not wear garden airerator shoes and walk on the bed.

osuche
10-17-2004, 03:55 PM
Well...you can't coat yourself (and your partner) with massage oil and use the bare waterbed like a slide....without having fun. ;)

SuzyQ
10-17-2004, 04:49 PM
You can't eat ice cream on a water bed while your partner is jumping up and down on the other side... :fish:

Pita
10-17-2004, 11:59 PM
You should not freeze the water in lieu of turning on the air conditioner.

LMAO!! That cracked me up!! :D

dicksbro
10-19-2004, 02:55 AM
:)

You should not install diving boards as a means of bed entry.



That's even more true if you froze the water to avoid turning on the air conditioner. :rolleyes:

Studmuffin69
10-19-2004, 10:13 AM
You can't set up a tent on a waterbed

WildIrish
10-19-2004, 11:17 AM
I'm not sure, but I don't think you can drive golf balls from your waterbed, can you?

dicksbro
10-19-2004, 11:37 AM
Lawn darts aren't a good idea, either.

thereIam
10-20-2004, 04:43 AM
You cannot stake your partner down on a water bed.

Sharni
10-20-2004, 05:28 AM
You can't run around on it in Stillettos

Firebabe
10-20-2004, 07:01 AM
You can't run with rugby toggs/golf shoes on it

Pita
10-20-2004, 08:14 AM
You shouldn't use your waterbed as a trampoline.

SuzyQ
10-20-2004, 06:41 PM
you cannot use a water bed without a heater in the Arctic

imaginewithme
10-20-2004, 08:46 PM
YOu can't ever get enough sex on a water bed.

Pita
10-20-2004, 09:42 PM
You shouldn't let your cats fight on your waterbed.

Mercury_Maniac
10-20-2004, 10:30 PM
You can't boat on a water bed

Glyndwr
10-21-2004, 04:33 AM
You can't practice your basketball dribbling skills using porcupines

WildIrish
10-22-2004, 01:39 PM
You can't shave your waterbed. :confused:


Ok...I might be all out of ideas. :D

Mercury_Maniac
10-22-2004, 01:48 PM
can't play water polo on a water bed :D

Cindy Kim
10-22-2004, 01:55 PM
You can't use it as a floatational device

wyndhy
11-14-2004, 08:21 PM
you should not fill your water bed with ground pork and spices and call it sausage.

cherrypie7788
11-14-2004, 08:47 PM
Not true mercury, not true :D LOL

"can't play water polo on a water bed "

Galatea
11-14-2004, 11:17 PM
You can't build a house of cards on a waterbed.

Lilith
11-14-2004, 11:19 PM
You can't wear golf shoes while having sex on a waterbed.

Teddy Bear
11-15-2004, 02:20 AM
Now this I know from personal experience.....

Do not sleep in a waterbed if your very prone to motion-sickness!! Unless you want to be queasy all the next day? :dizzy:

rockintime
11-15-2004, 02:32 AM
Do not, I repeat, do NOT secure the sheets on a waterbed with a hammer and nails.

Oldfart
11-15-2004, 02:41 AM
Do not practice SCUBA diving on your waterbed without a reserve tank.

Teddy Bear
11-15-2004, 03:19 AM
Do not anchor your boat on a waterbed.

rockintime
11-15-2004, 04:54 AM
It's best not to use your waterbed for a condom.

kathy1
11-15-2004, 05:13 AM
I'd say welding is a big no-no

Summer
11-15-2004, 06:04 AM
Forget the whips and chains!!!! :rolleyes:

Summer
11-15-2004, 06:05 AM
Forget the dripping of hot wax on any naked bodies! :rolleyes:

Summer
11-15-2004, 06:06 AM
Don't even get me started on the partner that will need Dramine (motion sickness medication) just to be there! UGH! ;)

imaginewithme
11-15-2004, 08:14 AM
^^haha too funny^^

I don't know....but I think I should try them out to make sure........

WildIrish
11-15-2004, 10:27 AM
You can't turn the heat all the way up and use your waterbed to boil eggs.

wyndhy
11-15-2004, 11:24 AM
you can't add gelatin and ropes and turn it into a wrestling arena

Coaster
11-15-2004, 09:55 PM
^^^^^^^^^^Oh Man........... that would be so cool!^^^^^^^

Oldfart
11-16-2004, 12:29 AM
You can't fill it with Helium and make love with very squeaky voices.

"Ouch, I've just got my hair caught in the bloody light fitting again."

LixyChick
11-17-2004, 06:39 AM
ROFLMFAO!

You can't juggle chain saws on a waterbed!

You can't pee...and expect it to go down a drain on a waterbed!

You can't marinade your meat for a BBQ in a waterbed!

You can't practice the high jump on a waterbed!

You shouldn't sharpen your mower blade on a waterbed!

You can't put the Statue of Liberty in the middle of your waterbed!

You shouldn't try and build an ice hut for ice fishing on a waterbed!

You can't thread an elephant through the eye of a needle on a waterbed! Wait...can that be done anywhere?

You shouldn't play with nitro glycerin while on a waterbed!

Don't...I say DON'T...draw a target in the middle of the bed and practice up for hunting season!

OMG...I'll be thinking of things all day now! I've gotta go to work...but first I have to change my panties cause I pee'd them!

Love you guys!

WildIrish
11-17-2004, 10:09 AM
You can't use peed-in panties as a replacement drain plug for your waterbed.

wyndhy
11-17-2004, 07:35 PM
LMAO at WI and Lixy

you can't use a waterbed for replacement of the panties you peed in. although it's waterproof it's waayyy to big.

MilkToast
11-17-2004, 07:41 PM
you can't add gelatin and ropes and turn it into a wrestling arena
but if you put the gelatin inside of the water bed then it would solve many of these things you can not do on it!!!!

Oldfart
11-17-2004, 07:55 PM
With gelatin in the bed, putting some Jeldi artificial fur around the drainage hole,

painting eyes and breasts on the sheet, I can charge $50 to root the world's largest

vinyl virgin.

Scotzoidman, have you still the paperwork we found when we were talking about

franchising the SOFA?

osuche
11-17-2004, 07:58 PM
you can't use a waterbed for replacement of the panties you peed in. although it's waterproof it's waayyy to big.


/me checks ass


WANNA BET???? :p :D

WildIrish
11-18-2004, 09:32 AM
/me checks ass



/me checks ^^^'s ass too. Just to check it. :D

osuche
11-18-2004, 10:18 AM
You can't act dignified on a water bed.

WildIrish
11-18-2004, 10:19 AM
You can't act dignified on a water bed.

Even if I hold my penis with my pinky out? :D

osuche
11-18-2004, 10:20 AM
Even if I hold my penis with my pinky out? :D


Shall I drink it like a teacup? ;)

BTW -- English breakfast or Earl Grey? :D Or was that "Irish Breakfast?"

Lilith
11-18-2004, 03:38 PM
Earl Grey...you can't ride a unicycle on a waterbed

Aqua
11-18-2004, 03:41 PM
Earl Grey...you can't ride a unicycle on a waterbed
Wanna bet? ;)

You can't take that Pinhead guy from Hellraiser to bed with you if you have a waterbed.

wyndhy
11-18-2004, 05:37 PM
you can't fill your waterbed with Aqua... or *can* you??? :D

lizzardbits
12-08-2004, 03:14 AM
Once, after draining my king-sized octagon waterbed (that's right octagon, with no head board) just for sh*ts and giggles, i took my hairdryer, set it on cool, and filled it with air to see if it would work for one night's rest as an air mattress, so i could wait for the next morning to fill it with new water. Needless to say, it didn't work so well (LOL).

Soooo, you can't fill a waterbed with air and expect to sleep well.

rockintime
12-08-2004, 05:48 PM
You can't play a game of pick up sticks in the middle of your waterbed...without modifying the rules.