View Full Version : things you can't do on a water bed!
texascubfan
10-13-2004, 02:31 PM
let's see how many things we can think of NOT to do on a waterbed...
You definitely should NOT play lawn darts!
WildIrish
10-13-2004, 02:41 PM
You most assuredly cannot slip out of your wife after having sharpened your penis to a fine point.
^^^^:eek:^^^^
It's not a good idea to wear those spiked fuck me shoes when in a waterbed.
WildIrish
10-13-2004, 03:02 PM
It's not a good idea to wear those spiked fuck me shoes when in a waterbed.
I know. :rolleyes:
I mean, yeah...you're probably right! :D
It's not advisable to joust in your waterbed either. As a matter of fact...that one might even be on the warning label.
osuche
10-13-2004, 03:14 PM
You can't leave the candles on the waterbed...they might burn through the plastic and cause a flood. :yikes:
It's not a good idea to play golf on your waterbed.
WildIrish
10-13-2004, 03:16 PM
Osuche might find this one particularily useful...
You can't rake your waterbed. :D
osuche
10-13-2004, 03:22 PM
Osuche might find this one particularily useful...
You can't rake your waterbed. :D
That's why I spend my nekkid leaf time outside. :) Right where the neighbors' kids can see me.
You can't use any positions that require significant leverage on a waterbed.... :hot:
dicksbro
10-13-2004, 03:25 PM
This is important ...
You can't flip the mattress over if you're uncomfortable. ;)
osuche
10-13-2004, 09:46 PM
<-- Needs to do some hands-on research to determine what cannot be done. :D
Mercury_Maniac
10-13-2004, 10:01 PM
Its definitely not a practical place to setup domino's
and
Its not a place for juggling torches!
PantyFanatic
10-13-2004, 11:25 PM
You can't ice skate on your water bed. :eek:
.....at least not in the spring. :fish:
cbass1976
10-13-2004, 11:33 PM
fish
BlondeCurlGirl
10-14-2004, 12:46 AM
You can't stand on your head on your water bed..
Catch22
10-14-2004, 12:58 AM
You most assuredly cannot slip out of your wife after having sharpened your penis to a fine point.
Ah from guns to bayonets WI. Your wicked. When you climb into bed with you Mrs do you cry out "Once more into the breach."?
boilergirl1
10-14-2004, 02:51 AM
:boobs: You cannot sleep in one filled with water that's not heated........(at least not, and awaken well rested and limber!!) :fish:
dicksbro
10-14-2004, 03:33 AM
You shouldn't let pet unicorns lay on the bed. :rolleyes:
It's not a good idea to have a bunch of cats on your waterbed.
osuche
10-14-2004, 12:04 PM
You cannot play with pins on your water bed.....so acupuncture treatments are out. :p
dicksbro
10-14-2004, 12:11 PM
Easily use it as a source of drinking water if you wake up a bit thirsty.
WildIrish
10-14-2004, 12:18 PM
You cannot use the spiked choke collar on your lover while on the waterbed.
osuche
10-14-2004, 12:34 PM
You cannot use the spiked choke collar on your lover while on the waterbed.
As long as your neck is supported by my...ummm...thigh ;) ...We should be OK.
WildIrish
10-14-2004, 01:51 PM
As long as your neck is supported by my...ummm...thigh ;) ...We should be OK.
Well...that certainly was stimulating. :slurp:
You can never find a good rhythm on a waterbed... the waves come back and screw it up.
osuche
10-14-2004, 03:04 PM
Put fish inside the water bed and then expect a restful night's sleep
Put fish inside the water bed and then expect a restful night's sleep
LMAO.... I'll guarantee it... Put Fish in your waterbed and you will not get much sleep at all.. :p
osuche
10-14-2004, 03:16 PM
Hmmmm.....why do I have the sudden urge to go on a fishing trip?
fredchabotnick
10-14-2004, 10:09 PM
You can't perform open heart surgery on a waterbed.
Well, not and expect good results.
imaginewithme
10-14-2004, 10:10 PM
You can never find a good rhythm on a waterbed... the waves come back and screw it up.
Yep.....had that problem while on vacation......
Coaster
10-14-2004, 10:19 PM
You can never find a good rhythm on a waterbed... the waves come back and screw it up.
Oh yes you can.............. just need more practice! :sex:
Glyndwr
10-15-2004, 04:59 AM
You can't wear spurs to bed and expect to wake up dry
WildIrish
10-15-2004, 07:18 AM
You can not set your branding iron down on a waterbed.
It's not a good idea to use your waterbed as a pincushion while sewing.
dicksbro
10-17-2004, 07:43 AM
It's not a good idea to leave the drain hole open while filling the bed with water.
darogle
10-17-2004, 12:57 PM
waterbeds don't make a good place to build a bonfire and roast marshmallows.
dicksbro
10-17-2004, 03:15 PM
You should not freeze the water in lieu of turning on the air conditioner.
dreamgurl
10-17-2004, 03:32 PM
you should not wear garden airerator shoes and walk on the bed.
osuche
10-17-2004, 03:55 PM
Well...you can't coat yourself (and your partner) with massage oil and use the bare waterbed like a slide....without having fun. ;)
SuzyQ
10-17-2004, 04:49 PM
You can't eat ice cream on a water bed while your partner is jumping up and down on the other side... :fish:
You should not freeze the water in lieu of turning on the air conditioner.
LMAO!! That cracked me up!! :D
dicksbro
10-19-2004, 02:55 AM
:)
You should not install diving boards as a means of bed entry.
That's even more true if you froze the water to avoid turning on the air conditioner. :rolleyes:
Studmuffin69
10-19-2004, 10:13 AM
You can't set up a tent on a waterbed
WildIrish
10-19-2004, 11:17 AM
I'm not sure, but I don't think you can drive golf balls from your waterbed, can you?
dicksbro
10-19-2004, 11:37 AM
Lawn darts aren't a good idea, either.
thereIam
10-20-2004, 04:43 AM
You cannot stake your partner down on a water bed.
Sharni
10-20-2004, 05:28 AM
You can't run around on it in Stillettos
Firebabe
10-20-2004, 07:01 AM
You can't run with rugby toggs/golf shoes on it
You shouldn't use your waterbed as a trampoline.
SuzyQ
10-20-2004, 06:41 PM
you cannot use a water bed without a heater in the Arctic
imaginewithme
10-20-2004, 08:46 PM
YOu can't ever get enough sex on a water bed.
You shouldn't let your cats fight on your waterbed.
Mercury_Maniac
10-20-2004, 10:30 PM
You can't boat on a water bed
Glyndwr
10-21-2004, 04:33 AM
You can't practice your basketball dribbling skills using porcupines
WildIrish
10-22-2004, 01:39 PM
You can't shave your waterbed. :confused:
Ok...I might be all out of ideas. :D
Mercury_Maniac
10-22-2004, 01:48 PM
can't play water polo on a water bed :D
Cindy Kim
10-22-2004, 01:55 PM
You can't use it as a floatational device
wyndhy
11-14-2004, 08:21 PM
you should not fill your water bed with ground pork and spices and call it sausage.
cherrypie7788
11-14-2004, 08:47 PM
Not true mercury, not true :D LOL
"can't play water polo on a water bed "
Galatea
11-14-2004, 11:17 PM
You can't build a house of cards on a waterbed.
Lilith
11-14-2004, 11:19 PM
You can't wear golf shoes while having sex on a waterbed.
Teddy Bear
11-15-2004, 02:20 AM
Now this I know from personal experience.....
Do not sleep in a waterbed if your very prone to motion-sickness!! Unless you want to be queasy all the next day? :dizzy:
rockintime
11-15-2004, 02:32 AM
Do not, I repeat, do NOT secure the sheets on a waterbed with a hammer and nails.
Oldfart
11-15-2004, 02:41 AM
Do not practice SCUBA diving on your waterbed without a reserve tank.
Teddy Bear
11-15-2004, 03:19 AM
Do not anchor your boat on a waterbed.
rockintime
11-15-2004, 04:54 AM
It's best not to use your waterbed for a condom.
kathy1
11-15-2004, 05:13 AM
I'd say welding is a big no-no
Summer
11-15-2004, 06:04 AM
Forget the whips and chains!!!! :rolleyes:
Summer
11-15-2004, 06:05 AM
Forget the dripping of hot wax on any naked bodies! :rolleyes:
Summer
11-15-2004, 06:06 AM
Don't even get me started on the partner that will need Dramine (motion sickness medication) just to be there! UGH! ;)
imaginewithme
11-15-2004, 08:14 AM
^^haha too funny^^
I don't know....but I think I should try them out to make sure........
WildIrish
11-15-2004, 10:27 AM
You can't turn the heat all the way up and use your waterbed to boil eggs.
wyndhy
11-15-2004, 11:24 AM
you can't add gelatin and ropes and turn it into a wrestling arena
Coaster
11-15-2004, 09:55 PM
^^^^^^^^^^Oh Man........... that would be so cool!^^^^^^^
Oldfart
11-16-2004, 12:29 AM
You can't fill it with Helium and make love with very squeaky voices.
"Ouch, I've just got my hair caught in the bloody light fitting again."
LixyChick
11-17-2004, 06:39 AM
ROFLMFAO!
You can't juggle chain saws on a waterbed!
You can't pee...and expect it to go down a drain on a waterbed!
You can't marinade your meat for a BBQ in a waterbed!
You can't practice the high jump on a waterbed!
You shouldn't sharpen your mower blade on a waterbed!
You can't put the Statue of Liberty in the middle of your waterbed!
You shouldn't try and build an ice hut for ice fishing on a waterbed!
You can't thread an elephant through the eye of a needle on a waterbed! Wait...can that be done anywhere?
You shouldn't play with nitro glycerin while on a waterbed!
Don't...I say DON'T...draw a target in the middle of the bed and practice up for hunting season!
OMG...I'll be thinking of things all day now! I've gotta go to work...but first I have to change my panties cause I pee'd them!
Love you guys!
WildIrish
11-17-2004, 10:09 AM
You can't use peed-in panties as a replacement drain plug for your waterbed.
wyndhy
11-17-2004, 07:35 PM
LMAO at WI and Lixy
you can't use a waterbed for replacement of the panties you peed in. although it's waterproof it's waayyy to big.
MilkToast
11-17-2004, 07:41 PM
you can't add gelatin and ropes and turn it into a wrestling arena
but if you put the gelatin inside of the water bed then it would solve many of these things you can not do on it!!!!
Oldfart
11-17-2004, 07:55 PM
With gelatin in the bed, putting some Jeldi artificial fur around the drainage hole,
painting eyes and breasts on the sheet, I can charge $50 to root the world's largest
vinyl virgin.
Scotzoidman, have you still the paperwork we found when we were talking about
franchising the SOFA?
osuche
11-17-2004, 07:58 PM
you can't use a waterbed for replacement of the panties you peed in. although it's waterproof it's waayyy to big.
/me checks ass
WANNA BET???? :p :D
WildIrish
11-18-2004, 09:32 AM
/me checks ass
/me checks ^^^'s ass too. Just to check it. :D
osuche
11-18-2004, 10:18 AM
You can't act dignified on a water bed.
WildIrish
11-18-2004, 10:19 AM
You can't act dignified on a water bed.
Even if I hold my penis with my pinky out? :D
osuche
11-18-2004, 10:20 AM
Even if I hold my penis with my pinky out? :D
Shall I drink it like a teacup? ;)
BTW -- English breakfast or Earl Grey? :D Or was that "Irish Breakfast?"
Lilith
11-18-2004, 03:38 PM
Earl Grey...you can't ride a unicycle on a waterbed
Earl Grey...you can't ride a unicycle on a waterbed
Wanna bet? ;)
You can't take that Pinhead guy from Hellraiser to bed with you if you have a waterbed.
wyndhy
11-18-2004, 05:37 PM
you can't fill your waterbed with Aqua... or *can* you??? :D
lizzardbits
12-08-2004, 03:14 AM
Once, after draining my king-sized octagon waterbed (that's right octagon, with no head board) just for sh*ts and giggles, i took my hairdryer, set it on cool, and filled it with air to see if it would work for one night's rest as an air mattress, so i could wait for the next morning to fill it with new water. Needless to say, it didn't work so well (LOL).
Soooo, you can't fill a waterbed with air and expect to sleep well.
rockintime
12-08-2004, 05:48 PM
You can't play a game of pick up sticks in the middle of your waterbed...without modifying the rules.
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