Sarcasm 101

[skipthisone]

A new game.....

Similar to True or False, but you should answer sarcastically...


Example...
Do you like having oral sex performed on you...

answer..
No, I would rather have root canal.


Simple, yet elegant :D enjoy.

[skipthisone]

Do you think Pixies is an awesome site?

[IAKaraokeGirl]

Nah. I just hang out here and waste time because it's a boring and irritating site.

Do you look forward to the future?

[WildIrish]

Yeah, of course...I can't wait to be TOTALLY bald and incontinent!

What's the best thing about boobies?

[gekkogecko]

Thanks for strating this thread STO. By studying it, I may come to understand what exactly sarcasm is. Perhaps, therefore, I can look forward to teh future.

Since I never employ sarcasm, I don't understand it at all.

How's your love-life?

[skipthisone]

It's so bad I would rather shove sharp rocks up my ass than have sex.

The women on pixies are beautiful creatures

[Steph]

Beautiful? They're all close-minded and uptight!

Do you like the money shot?

[flutelady]

Hell no, I much prefer a limp, uninterested dick. Doesn't everyone?


Do you like having your breasts fondled?

[Cassiopeia]

Oh yeah, almost as much I like stubbing my toe.

Do you think masturbating is healthy?

[flutelady]

Healthy?? Of course it's healthy, especially if you relish having hairy palms and/or going blind.


Do you have sex with the lights on?

[skipthisone]

Hell no, bag over her head and mine in total blackness, seeing breasts up close would give me the heeby-geebies.

Do you like a deep longing kiss?

[Steph]

No way! I much prefer a dry, close-mouthed peck on the cheek!


Do you love anal?

[skipthisone]

Com'n, sticking my penis in a tight lubed up hole, feeling like it is getting milked for all its worth...no way!!!

Do you enjoy long fore-play?

[Aqua]

Anal sex?! Madam, I'd rather scrub the Space Shuttle with a tooth brush than forego such a filthy act.

*After posting I see STO has tried to steal a question OBVIOUSLY meant for me... :p*

So, how about those handcuffs, aren't they fun?

[skipthisone]

Give up control!!!, I think that being under someone elses control and tied or cuffed down is downright barbaric.

Anyone for long sweaty sex?

[Lilith]

hate it....all slick and slippery...bleh yuck!


Like hair pulling?

[Aqua]

Oh, whatever... it took me 10 years to get it this long and now you want to rip it out?

Mind if I lick your pussy for an hour straight?

[dicksbro]

Yeah, like you think you could do that with a guy?

Is it already afternoon?

[Steph]

No, it's 4 a.m., DB time!

Why do you hate Pixies so much?

[dicksbro]

Don't you hate the thought of reading some silly stuff and then trying to top it with more silly stuff. :rolleyes:

Let's snack on snails.

[Sharni]

Not unless you've bent over and the suns shining out ya butt!

I'm horny

[skipthisone]

I hate that lusty all over feeling makes me icky

Anyone for a hard cock?

[flutelady]

What the hell does a rooster have to do with anything??


The smell of a freshly showered body, what does it do for you?

[WildIrish]

Gags me! Almost as much as fresh flowers!

Is communication in the bedroom important?

[skipthisone]

Da' bitch just needs to shut up and take it anyway I give it.

Her licking before ya doin the stickin works for me.

[WildIrish]

"Eeeew! You're gonna put your mouth where?"

Most vaginas are...

[osuche]

Most vaginas are fit for only one thing...baby birthing. Ya know that's all I've used mine for.

Like being dominated?

[SuzyQ]

Nah..I like it like cleaning up the bathroom...

[skipthisone]

to keep it going....


Do you like having yours licked?

[Lilith]

About as much as I like having it poked:rolleyes:




I heard you like flavored lube....

[skipthisone]

Flavored Lube should only be used to oil the chain on my bike, I mean those birds should have something to try and eat.

Leather looks lovely on the right ass.

[Cassiopeia]

err...probably only on the cow where it originated from :p

Showers are fun for two.

[dicksbro]

Yeah, that's why cows use it.

Isn't there something better we should be doing?

[Cassiopeia]

lol, beat ya to it DB!

Something better I should be doing? Nahh...I mean who really works on a weekday?

Do you like weekends?

[dicksbro]

"Ya' got me fair and square, pardner!" LOL :D

You've got to be kidding ... liking two days when you don't have to work and can just lay around and do nothing ... are there people like that?

[WildIrish]

Are there people like that? Not that I've seen...most people lay around and do nothing at their desk!

And what about finger food?

[skipthisone]

Nope, hate it, I only eat soup at my desk

Let's give a hoot for short dresses at work!!

[dicksbro]

Are you getting a kickback from Hooters?

How about ladies wearing cropped tops and going braless?

[osuche]

Short dresses at work? Hell no! Not a benefit to productivity, nor to morale.

Ever enjoyed sex?

[skipthisone]

Every damn time it is something I must grimace.

Good sex is noisy sex.

[osuche]

What are you, an exhibitionist or something?

I love long drives.

[skipthisone]

MOre than 15 minutes is just a waste of time and fuel and isnt worth doing.

Sex is worth working for.

[flutelady]

A long drive off a short pier... Don't forget to write!


I love when my nipples are erect

[osuche]

Only if you get paid.

I enjoy playing on Pixies more than doing my job.

[dicksbro]

WORKING? I didn't think we were suppose to use foul language in our posts.

Happy is as happy does.

[osuche]

And happy does nothing, I suppose?

Like working?

[rockintime]

Who wouldn't like working my ass off, getting no respect, and having nothing to show for it? What a trip!


[Thanks, STO for coming up with this game...lmao]


Isn't plane travel a joy these days?

[osuche]

Yes, I enjoy it as much as I'd enjoy giving myself a C-section.


Gambling is so fun!

[flutelady]

Nothing sweeter than working hard for the money and then pissing it away.

Oh no, is it Friday evening?

[rockintime]

As if I'd know what the hell to do with it!



Doesn't an accordian make just the most beautiful music?

[osuche]

Sounds as divine as angels playing harmonicas.


Like making love to a German?

[denny]

Not touching that one.
Like making love?

[osuche]

About as much as I enjoy getting my teeth pulled.

Enjoy meeting new people?

[denny]

As much as one can revel in dullards.

Enjoy leaving people?

[osuche]

It's second only to meeting people on my list of pleasures.

Enjoy giving as good as you get?

[denny]

Only if I am sleepwalking.

Ever met your match?

[cowgirltease]

Do you see one who can hang with me now?????? And YES I AM "all that"

Would you have sex in the rain?:p

[dicksbro]

:o AND GET MY TUSH WET? :rolleyes:

Your dress is too long.

[osuche]

AFter all, anything that even partially covers your ass is far too long.


Your smile is beautiful

[rockintime]

Ah geez, I KNEW you were gonna ask me for a loan.


Don't you just love walking along the beach?

[dicksbro]

Sure, central Illinois residents are always walking along the beach. Dang mud puddles.

Oh boy, payday is tomorrow!

[paprclphd]

Not me - no way! I would rather be tied up from a tree by my toenails!

OUCH!

Is anyone up for some oral sex?

[rockintime]

Ohhhhhh! I'd rather have you rub my tongue with sandpaper!


Wow, this is sure a beautiful day!

[dicksbro]

Oh yeah, four in the morning and temperatures in the forties ... just doesn't get any better than that. :rolleyes:

It's sure be nice to win the lottery.

[kinx]

Yeah, and the government takes 60% and you get sued for the remaining 40.


I think I'll give up smoking today.

[osuche]

Yeah, right after I save the world from certain destruction.


Going back to school is easy

[denny]

Just like getting un-pregnant.

Marriage is a breeze.

[flutelady]

It sure is... the same kind of breeze as a hurricane... shall we get our kites?


The check is in the mail, honest.

[denny]

..and I won't ____ in your mouth! Trick!

Relationships take no work at all.

[flutelady]

Right, and newborn babies always sleep 4 hours at a time


You can't get pregnant the first time you have sex

[denny]

...and the Pope is not catholic!


I love verbal abuse...

[flutelady]

So do I, my self esteem is unshakable


I love to cook and clean after working all day

[denny]

...as much as I enjoy washing laundry and folding on a beautiful weekend.


I really enjoy acrimony and constant personal criticism...

[flutelady]

me too.. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over (makes my nipples hard too *weg*)


I love the smell when I take of my shoes after a long day

[BadChicken]

Yeah, that's ok, I guess. Personally, I prefer the aroma of dirty laundry that was crammed in the hamper a week ago while it was damp....

I really enjoy showering as the washing machine is turned on and the toilet is flushed simultaneously.

[osuche]

Yeah, the brisk water really perks me up.

Eating about 5000 calories a day is a wonderful idea...

[Steph]

Yeah, I love seeing my belly grow.

Bills rock! I wish I had more!

[osuche]

That way I could really get more enjoyment out of bounced check fees.

My biological clock is ticking...

[dicksbro]

So, where's the blasted snooze alarm?

Sure wish the car would act up.

[osuche]

Yeah, the mechanic and I have a frequent visitor program.

Can't wait to go on another business trip...

[denny]

So I can travel nights and weekends and work extra long days, what fun!

I can't wait until I get divorced

[Lilith]

so I can make some other poor bastard as miserable as my current husband.


I like small cars...

[Aqua]

because sex is such a free, relaxing experience inside of one.

A grapefruit is best when...

[Lilith]

squeezed and diluted with vodka.


I think therefore

[osuche]

..I put my foot in my mouth


I like fast cars...

[WildIrish]

the speeding tickets keep me from accumulating enough wealth to retire.


If I were any happier...

[Aqua]

Mickey Mouse would give me a blowjob.

Any more days like this and...

[dicksbro]

I'll have to have a picnic in the rain.

I love politicians ...

[osuche]

...just about as much as I love getting a root canal

Time is ticking away

[dicksbro]

... except, of course, when you have a digital clock. :rolleyes:

:D :D

Fried foods are great ...

[osuche]

...if you don't want to live very long.

I always take my vitamins...

[wyndhy]

they are especially good if you chew them.


I never eat junk food.....

[Steph]

unless I'm awake!


I never drink . . .

[dicksbro]

without a glass or a bottle in hand. :)

I love stormy weather ...

[osuche]

...especially when I am camping underneath the stars. It's electrifying.

I love it when my mom calls to yell at me...

[dicksbro]

... especially when I have a headache and upset stomach.

Wish I could mow the lawn ...

[flutelady]

Because sneezing, wheezing and itching are three of my very favorite things to do!

Of course I trust you, dear.

[osuche]

...about as far as I can throw your 500 lb lying ass.

I love having sex in the missionary position...

[dicksbro]

but wish those missionaries had more enthusiasm for it. :)

I like watching birds ...

[rockintime]

...particularly when I'm standing right beneath them.


Wasn't that the BEST vacation we ever took?

[horseman12]

especially if you find dead grass interesting!!


Is'nt life Grand

[dicksbro]

Like the Canyon of the same name, a big muddy ditch.

Are we having fun yet?

[musketeer]

yeah just like watching paint dry!

you mean you don't like it?

[dicksbro]

Of course, who wouldn't want to wallow in it and grunt like a pig?

How about a haircut?

[musketeer]

Ok from the neck up ok?


You want large fries with that?

[rockintime]

Oh, gee , I don't see how anyone could eat more that the 3 french fries that are in the medium order.


Wow, a holiday weekend coming soon.

[dicksbro]

Sure, like having the kids all out of school yelling and running wild all day is a holiday. :rolleyes:

How about a gourmet lunch?

[musketeer]

Yes please I just love the taste of expensive crap.


Can I get you another?

[dicksbro]

Yeah, like there's nothing I like more than getting more stuff to store somewhere.

Wanna' go fishing?

[BIBI]

Why? Have you got worms?

Do you want to dance

[dicksbro]

Why, is that where the worms went to? :D :D (JK)

Let's go out to the park.

[musketeer]

Ok I enjoy being mugged.

Is that your child?

[dicksbro]

No, silly, it's a dog in diapers that learned to say, "Goo Goo!"

I love picture puzzles.

[musketeer]

I suppose somebody has too!

Should we clean the car?

[dicksbro]

And miss the chance to get our clothes dirty?

How about lunch.

[rockintime]

Oh, geez, I've tasted your cooking before...no freaking way!!!!


The Supreme Court makes such EXCELLENT decisions.

[dicksbro]

The Supreme Court makes such EXCELLENT decisions ... like ... well like ... ah ... er ... like a ... well ... decisions anyway.

What we really need is ...

[rockintime]

What we really need is to to stop all this freaking sex, sex, sex, sex, sex....how can YOU people be such perverts!

:D


Wow, did I ever get lucky today!

[flutelady]

Yep, totally lucky. I got to have Lean Cuisine for lunch!! Yummmmm


What a special afternoon I've got planned... housework!

[dicksbro]

What a special afternoon I've got planned... housework! It just doesn't get any better than that!

How about something to eat?

[rockintime]

WHAT? You mean you can't get your lazy butt up out of that chair and fix your own meal!!!!


Aren't you happy we're going to ballgame this weekend?

[dicksbro]

Oh yeah, I always get thrilled watching two young kids I don't know shooting a game of marbles.

How about a nice cold beer?

[denny]

How about a nice cold beer? Sure, thats on my diet!!!


I can't wait to go work out!

[dicksbro]

I can't wait to go work out! Like unfolding the chaise lounge is a major challenge.

I'll be happy to work over ...

[musketeer]

I'll be happy to work over your dead body!


Did you miss me?

[dicksbro]

Did you miss me? How can I miss you if you won't leave. :D

Get dressed now.

[rockintime]

Get dressed now. It's time for the horror show to end.

Isn't Niagara Falls impressive?

[dicksbro]

I guess, if you like watching nature's fresh water urinal being flushed.

Life is like a bed of roses.

[musketeer]

Life is like a bed of roses, covered in thorns and growing in shit!

What time do you want me to wake you?

[TinTennessee]

Sure life is like a bed of roses...full of pricks. lol


All good things come to those who wait.

[Cassiopeia]

Yeah...good things like getting mugged waiting in line for the atm.

Procrastination is so productive.

[dicksbro]

Procrastination is so productive we need politicians to run on a platform of "more crastination in every legislative session." :rolleyes:

Give me a greasy spoon restaurant every time ...

[Pita]

Only thing better would have been to go alone.


I just love people.

[dicksbro]

Especially the obnoxious ones ... they add so much color to a get together.

Store clerks are such friendly people ...

[TinTennessee]

Yeah, friendly like a snake.

I'm so glad I'm not rich.

[Pita]

All that money would really cramp my style.


I really love pets.

[dicksbro]

Especially the slithering and slimey ones. :)

I love getting mail.

[Belial]

Yeah, I really need another bill, I just hate seeing the surface of my desk.

I love playing guitar.

[dicksbro]

... especially tunes using the key of "Q"

I'm a real do-it-yourselfer.

[Pita]

Yeah because no one else will.


I just got to say you look great.

[Aqua]

I just got to say you look great, that blue shirt really brings out the color in that black eye.

Broadband internet is really not all that great...

[dicksbro]

Broadband internet is really not all that great...although finding bands of broads on the internet would be.

Elections are so much fun ...

[TinTennessee]

Elections are so fun....

Yeah fun like surgery.


I simply love to clean house.

[dicksbro]

I simply love to clean house ... so I pay the kids to make a mess each morning.

Cars are wonderful things ...

[TinTennessee]

Cats are wonderful things...especially when deep fried with soy sauce.

OMG I SWEAR I DON'T REALLY MEAN IT! LOL

I love dentists.

[Lilith]

I love dentists, esecially the ones that ask you all sorts of questions with their fingers entwined in your tonsils.

I think therefore I am.

[skipthisone]

I think, therefore I am a giant prick.

[skipthisone]

Feet tickle like

[BIGbad]

Every hour of every fucking day. I love it so much that I fill my shoes with feathers!

Bush is the worst president the united states has ever had.

[Pita]

Spoken by a true demorcrat.


I think that the next election will be interesting.

[jay-t]

I think the next Election will be interesting, if we could vote Try Again


It only takes one--

[Bilbo]

Very true.......and then 6 million fuckers are experts on telling you where you went wrong



What's wrong with world peace

[dicksbro]

What's wrong with world peace ... is everyone wants it on their own terms. :(

Dinner's a favorite meal ...

[musketeer]

dinner's a favorite meal so go cook it yourself!

Tea or coffee?

[dicksbro]

Aw, yes, tea or coffee, what a marvelous set of options for someone trying to buy a soda.

Temperance is terrific ...

[Pita]

Temperance is terrific... when you don't want to feel passionate about anything.


Kids are so good ....

[dicksbro]

Kids are so good .... sources of grandkids. :D

Fireworks are fun ...

[rockintime]

Fireworks are fun ... if you like seeing your had fly 200 feet away from your body.


It's on the Internet so it's gotta be true.

[valkyrie]

it's on the internet so it's gotta be true.... and it said Cher's a natural blonde! :eek:

they use our taxes for such worthwhile projects...

[Pita]

they use our taxes for such worthwhile projects...like researching the earth worm and its mating habits.



Famous people live such wonderful lives.

[valkyrie]

Famous people live such wonderful lives... that's why Bill Cosby has been talking so sweetly to the Black community in America.

Children are such grateful creatures.

[Pita]

childeren are such grateful creatures..As long as they get everything their little hearts desire.



Is so much fun giving the dog a bath.

[TinTennessee]

It is so much giving the dog a bath, I wish I could do it daily. <eyeroll>

I love having cramps.

[Pita]

I love having cramps. Almost as much as I love stubbing my toe.


Some people think they know it all.

[musketeer]

Some people think they know it all - they just don't know how irritating they are.

Is fuel cheap in you town?

[Pita]

Is fuel cheap in you town? Yeah about as cheap as milk.



Going to the grocery store is the highlight of my week.

[Cassiopeia]

Oh God yes! I especially love going to Walmart. I get to ponder my life while I wait in the long lines.

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.

[ivory]

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down... but getting to go back to work after the weekend cheers me up so!

Weeding the flowerbeds is my favorite chore

[Glyndwr]

Weeding the flowerbeds is my favorite chore, along with sticking pins in my eyes.

The weather here in the UK is great at the moment, you should all come over and visit.

[musketeer]

The weather here in the UK is great at the moment, you should all come over and visit, you won't get a suntan though - you'll just get rusty!

Did it rain earlier?

[osuche]

Did you melt?

Do you miss skip?

[musketeer]

Do I miss skip - I can't be sarcastic on that one.

Wasn't the sunrise beautiful today?

[valkyrie]

Wasn't the sunrise beautiful today... perfectly framed by those thunderheads.

Family members say the sweetest things to each other

[Pita]

Family members say the sweetest things to each other when they aren't talking behind your back.


Flowers are a nice way to say I love you.

[Glyndwr]

OH how lovely flowers! Just what my running eyes need, more pollen.

Will you respect me in the morning?

[osuche]

Will you respect me in the morning?
Yeah...I'll respect you just as much as I did *before* we went to bed.

Do you like a gentle touch?

[rockintime]

Do you squeezing it FLAT gentle?


Ahhh, living in a hotel, what a life!

[Pita]

Ahhh, living in a hotel, what a life! And sharing it all with such colorful people is a big bonus.


There is nothing more fun then playing smut games.

[rockintime]

There is nothing more fun then playing smut games.
And it's so nice to get 6 hours less sleep a night because of it.


Gee, this SUV get such great gas mileage.

[dicksbro]

Gee, this SUV gets such great gas mileage ... so great, I'm thinking of selling oil investments since they won't be worth much. :rolleyes:

There's nothing like celibacy ...

[rockintime]

There's nothing like celibacy ...thousands of years of Catholicism have shown it to be fool proof.


I'm going to start balancing my checkbook like the government does.

[dicksbro]

I'm going to start balancing my checkbook like the government does ... which is, well, it's, OMG ... how do they do that? :D

Supreme pizzas ...

[rockintime]

Supreme pizzas ... are my local pizza parlor's way of making sure they get premium prices!


That blonde sure likes to toss her hair.

[dicksbro]

That blonde sure likes to toss her hair ... which is why a better glue was suggested.

Hardons are wonderful ...

[WildIrish]

Hardons are wonderful...for diverting other kids attention away from the math problem you're fucking up on the chalkboard!

A fresh cup of coffee...

[Vurginne]

A fresh cup of coffee... yeah more like the broth of Satan! hee hee

Chinese takeout

[Pita]

Chinese takeout is good as long as you don't stare at the ingredients for long.


Reality T.V. is just the best thing for.....

[dicksbro]

Reality T.V. is just the best thing for ..... entertaining commercial sponsors.

News shows are wonderful ...

[osuche]

News shows are wonderful ... if you have an affinity for murder, rape, and thievery


Reality TV is pithy and accurate....

[campingboy]

only if you life revolves around watching reality TV.

do politicians really believe ......

[Pita]

Do politicians really believe the drivel the try to sell to the public.


Being married is a great way to....

[osuche]

Being married is a great way to.... avoid dating

Sexual frusteration never happens to me....

[dicksbro]

Sexual frustration never happens to me....just like cars never fail to start.

I can hardly wait for the next chance to go to work ...

[valkyrie]

I can hardly wait for the next chance to go to work... my boss was so calm when that 500-job order came in this afternoon.

Cleaning the aquarium is such a pleasant task...

[dicksbro]

Cleaning the aquarium is such a pleasant task...now that the fish have been toilet trained.

To be or not to be ...

[osuche]

To be or not to be ... horny is the question.

Guido is a great name...

[Pita]

Guido is a great name for someone that plays on the Sopranos.


A day at the amusement park is....

[dicksbro]

A day at the amusement park is....is especially amusing for the park owners on their way to the bank.

A walk in the rain can be fun ...

[Pita]

A walk in the rain can be fun if you learn to dodge the lightening.


It's so great leaving in Florida if you....

[jay-t]

Its so great living in Florida if. if you learn to dodge the golf carts.


Neighbors can bee so helplful

[Belial]

Neighbours can be so helpful, if not for them I'd never know how much I hate Ja Rule.

Exercise is fun

[dicksbro]

Exercise is fun when you get all sweaty and stinky and everything aches.

Fall is a time for picnics

[rockintime]

Fall is a time for picnics....wind, rain, and plunging temperatures make the food taste so much better!


Please hold, all our customer service representatives are busy right now.

[dicksbro]

Please hold, all our customer service representatives are busy right now...or call someone else who gives a shit.

Welcome to our neighborhood ...

[rockintime]

Welcome to our neighborhood ... but don't get feeling to comfortable because it's about time for you to leave.



This beautiful figurine is ONLY $79.99.

[dicksbro]

This beautiful figurine is ONLY $79.99 ... which is only $78.99 over cost.

I long for peace.

[osuche]

I long for peace.....or at least a new President.


I enjoy going to the dentist...

[dicksbro]

I enjoy going to the dentist...since it saves on having to buy new tooth brushes or dental floss.

I like washing the car ...

[osuche]

I like washing the car ... especially when it rains right after I do it.


I love going to the gym...

[dicksbro]

I love going to the gym...with the glory holes between the dressing rooms and all.

I love meetings ...

[Pita]

^^^LOL Ewwwww!^^^

I love meetings...where the boss goes on and on about stuff I already know.


Thunderstorms are such a....

[dicksbro]

Thunderstorms are such a....nice way to fill in for a sick drummer.

Peter Piper picked a peck ...

[rockintime]

Peter Piper picked a peck ... but he really preferred his wife would peck his peter.


Since I know how to get there I don't need a map.

[dicksbro]

Since I know how to get there I don't need a map. I only took this dirt road with all the potholes because I thought it might be more scenic ... besides ... we should be able to 'rock the car' out of this mud in a little bit.

Tomorrow's another day ...

[rockintime]

Tomorrow's another day ... Oh, man, did you have to remind me!!!



Campaign donations do a lot of good.

[dicksbro]

Campaign donations do a lot of good ... they help support 'Promises Made to be Broken' ... a no-results organization designed to support the life style of the rich and otherwise unemployable.

Sometimes people get touchy ...

[rockintime]

Sometimes people get touchy. So why isn't that woman over at the bar getting touchy with me?


I'll just make this brief.

[osuche]

I'll just make this brief... about as brief as J Lo's marriages.

I love women who play hard to get...

[Belial]

I love women who play hard to get, I love seeing time, money and effort getting pissed away - and then getting rejected.

I love Pixies.


;)

[Catch22]

ttt

[osuche]

I love Pixies....especially when they get all fired up about politics. It's a wonderful warm up to flirting and sex.


I've had a hard day today...

[dicksbro]

I've had a hard day today...hard getting up, hard to get moving, hard to get enthused ...

Erections in public ...

[rockintime]

Erections in public...oh, thanks...can't it be hard nipples poking through sheer blouses?


Slow people driving in the left lane on a freeway ...

[dicksbro]

Slow people driving in the left lane on a freeway ... let the fast drivers stay in the lane where the signs are still visible.

Halloween is fun because ...

[rockintime]

Halloween is fun because ...we now get to check candy for razorblades!


I'm sure glad we came to this party.

[dicksbro]

I'm sure glad we came to this party. It's so much better than having all those creeps come to our place. :)

I'll sure hate to see the elections get over with ...

[wyndhy]

because they are the most refreshingly honest group of people who clearly care for their constituants and are not the least bit concerned with all that hollywood and media hype like those damn nuns.

i *love* changing diapers because...

[nikanik]

The smell is just wonderful!!!!

I love seeing people in love because......

[dicksbro]

... being a voyeur has been a career goal of mine. :)

Flat tires are wonderful because ...

[Mercury_Maniac]

....its so much fun freezing my ass changing one by hand


Cold weather is great...

[dicksbro]

Cold weather is great...because it helps give you such interesting body colors when you sunbathe.

Most guys hate it when their ladies go down on them ...

[osuche]

Just about as much as they hate winning a million dollars!

Most men think I'm very unattractive....

[dicksbro]

Most men think I'm very unattractive....except for days and nights and what's in between.

Pizza sounds good...

[lizzardbits]

Pizza sounds good when it hits the guy that just spilt his beer all over my favorite outfit.


Public diisplays of affection are great.

[mannis]

For sure....lol.....that is like pissing in the wind!


You loved to be held and hugged firmly

[dicksbro]

You loved to be held and hugged firmly ... especially when it's by a 800 pound gorilla. :rolleyes2

I love watching the news ...

[lizzardbits]

I love watching the news......sure just as much as i like sticking my thumbs in my eyes and drinking vodka thru my nose


I love to masturbate

[Mercury_Maniac]

I love to masturbate.......yes its just as enjoyable as washing my entire body in hydrochloric acid!


I love to Jog

[lizzardbits]

I love to jog....Ya about as much as i like to feel the lactic acid in my muscles build up and i throw up from it


i like to watch others have hot steamy.................coffee

[dicksbro]

i like to watch others have hot steamy ... coffee ... almost as much as I love watching grass grow or snow melt.

I think raunchy movies are great entertainment ...

[osuche]

...as long as you've got an IQ less than 10!


Sleeping in the nude is fun....

[dicksbro]

... especially when there's a pesky mosquito to keep you entertained. :)

Masturbation is good exercise ...

[osuche]

.....as long as you only want to work out one arm. :p


Packing in the nude is a good idea....

[dicksbro]

... unless you've just arrived and are moving into your new place and need to unpack. :D

Kissing a friend can be fun ...

[lizzardbits]

Kissing a friend can be fun ... Yeah as much fun as it is dealing with the cold sore that they just gave you


Looking some one in the eyes is a turn on...

[dicksbro]

Looking some one in the eyes is a turn on...especially when it's bloodshot and they are so drunk and smelly you have a hard time breathing anywhere close to them.

I love mowing the grass ...

[lizzardbits]

... As much as i like having rocks spat out at me, bruising my shins and then suffering from allergies afterwards

i like talking on the phone

[dicksbro]

I like talking on the phone ... so much I'm thinking about a National Please Do Call list! :rolleyes2

Sneezing is a lot of fun ...

[rabbit]

Yeah...so is getting ass fucked with a pine cone....not.


I like beer.

[dicksbro]

I like beer because it's made of grain and supports a veggie lifestyle. :)

I love rush hour traffic ...