05-18-2003, 09:27 PM
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here and there
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Western NY
Posts: 3,601
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Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
1155
__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White
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05-18-2003, 09:28 PM
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here and there
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Western NY
Posts: 3,601
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1156
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White
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05-18-2003, 09:28 PM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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#1157
__________________
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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05-18-2003, 09:28 PM
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here and there
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Western NY
Posts: 3,601
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1158
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White
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05-18-2003, 09:29 PM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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#1159
__________________
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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05-18-2003, 09:30 PM
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here and there
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Western NY
Posts: 3,601
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Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
1160
__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White
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05-18-2003, 09:31 PM
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here and there
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Western NY
Posts: 3,601
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I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
1161
________________________________
BARBER:
I wanted to be... a lumberjack!
Leaping from tree to tree, as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia. The Giant Redwood. The Larch. The Fir! The mighty Scots Pine! The lofty flowering Cherry! The plucky little Apsen! The limping Roo tree of Nigeria. The towering Wattle of Aldershot! The Maidenhead Weeping Water Plant! The naughty Leicestershire Flashing Oak! The flatulent Elm of West Ruislip! The Quercus Maximus Bamber Gascoigni! The Epigillus! The Barter Hughius Greenus!
With my best buddy by my side, we'd sing! Sing! Sing!
[singing]
I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.
MOUNTIES:
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
BARBER:
I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And has buttered scones for tea.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
BARBER:
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
BARBER:
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!
[talking]
What's this? Wants to be a girlie?! Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!...
[singing]
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White
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05-18-2003, 09:31 PM
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here and there
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Western NY
Posts: 3,601
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1162 -- A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White
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05-18-2003, 09:32 PM
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here and there
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Western NY
Posts: 3,601
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1163
{now this is a bad one - Toast}
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White
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05-18-2003, 09:32 PM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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#1162
__________________
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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05-18-2003, 09:32 PM
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here and there
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Western NY
Posts: 3,601
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Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
--1165--
__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White
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05-18-2003, 09:33 PM
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here and there
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Western NY
Posts: 3,601
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1166
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White
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05-18-2003, 09:34 PM
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here and there
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Western NY
Posts: 3,601
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1167
{this one I really like  - Toast}
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White
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05-18-2003, 09:35 PM
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here and there
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Western NY
Posts: 3,601
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A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
1168
__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White
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05-18-2003, 09:35 PM
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here and there
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Western NY
Posts: 3,601
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{Skipthisone probably came up with this one  - Toast}
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
1169
__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White
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