I'm not arguing that at all and agree 100%. But like I have asked if it's no big deal what's the big deal?

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i think i see the problem. connotation
it's just a piece of paper.

just does not mean no big deal...like when you're trying to get your kid to try something new -- "you like cheese and bread right? well this is just both together. try it"

just means merely, as in nothing more than. this "piece of paper" - to many who even have them - means so much less to them than does the actuality of their lives together that its value as a lasting or binding contract is about as powerful as words on a chalkboard. even silly. so to say "why bother" is to say i don't need anyone's ok, and i don't need to pay a "fee" just to make my relationship "official"; it's "official" to us, 'nuff said.

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Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

In this day in age,kids can grow up realizing they are being raised by a single parent,a same sex couple, or a whole village of relatives.Nothing is entirely wrong.Whatever works,can work quite well,and that what counts. I find the word "Bastard" quite reprehensable.Remember.those who choose to call a child of a single parent a bastard,are probably quite willig to divide society into derogatory terms for all of us. My granddaughter lives with her mother who never married her father.To think of her in any other terms,is not an option.

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Sex is one of nine reasons for reincarnation.The other eight are unimportant...Henry Miller

Like many things--the meanings have changed over the years along with society (social/economic/moraes). Bastards from the medeval period where children whom stood little chance of inheritence. Further legal claim to property where denied to bastards. Socially speaking, it mattered more to what the woman's station in life was as to how she was regarded. A "Lady" was little better then a breeding cow in higher society to provide heirs, cement political alliences, and carrying on names. If it turned out she was caught in extra-marital activities, it put into question her children's father legitimacy. The poor classess didn't so much have these complications, since war/rape where common, and mortality rates so high.

Time passes, and yet still the question, "whose kid is it?" was being asked. Again issues of property where the chief concern. Few fathers wanted illegitment children to prosper from their lifes labors. Yet durning the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries, social strata began to become more level. Which society wide bastards became more looked down upon. In most cases the bastard took on the "sin" of the mother. Somewhere along the line it became important to have your father's last name as proof of legitmacy.

20th century roles around and for the majority of the waining years till the 70s being legitment was a concern. Again bastards suffered the stain of their mother's "sin". And as a whole non-martial relations where looked down upon. Coming out of the 50s and 60s stigma of lower classess, blacks mostly, and poor white where associated with bastards...the father disappearing as a mark of scorn.

During the later 80s and certainly the 90s, the social stigma of bastard changed to more acceptence being replaces economic responsibility. It became more important for society to find the father and insure his financial support of his children. More so people where seeing mothers who had more and more children by different fathers. The trend continuing into 2000

Nowdays--its pretty much excepted as the norm. However, I've noticed that its becoming harder and harder for younger ladies to find life-partners if they have pre-existing children from other relationships. Not sure the reasons, but can only deduce that perhaps either the quality of men have changed or that economics have changed.