11. Wash a tree.
12. Genuflect to Larwence Welk.
13. Knight yourself and some close friends.
14. Found the Jim Jones' School of Modern Bartending.
15. Flirt with an evergreen.
16. Scare Steven King.
17. Give your cat a mohawk.
18. Purr.
19. Mow your carpet.
20. Rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings.)

3555

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

3556 - too sweet Lilith... sorry, not a sweet drinks/dessert lover

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

3557

21. Whine
22. Play Pat Boone records backwards.
23. Re-elect Richard Nixon.
24. Dress like your favorite Heavy Metal group...surprise your grandmother.
25. Listen to a painting.
26. Play with matches.
27. Buff your cat.
28. Raise professional racing ferrets.
29. Paint your home...day-glo orange.
30. Dial-a-Prayer and argue.

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

31. Read Homer in the original Greek.
32. Learn Greek.
33. Change your mind.
34. Change it back.
35. Watch the sun...see if it moves.
36. Run about madly until you fall on the ground.
37. Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster.
38. Paint your windows.
39. Flash your goldfish.
40. Paint.

3558

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

41. Smile.
42. Paint a smile.
43. Shoot at a fire hydrant.
44. Apologize to it.
45. See if you really can build a small nuclear device in your basement.
46. Rotate your garden...daily.
47. Plant a shoe.
48. Write letters to all the political officials that are representing you, and tell them what a good job they are doing...on April 1st.
49. Sweat.
50. Give a Rorschach (Ink-blot) Test to your gerbil.

3559

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

51. Take apart all your major kitchen appliances.
52. Mix and match the parts.
53. Turn your TV picture tube upside down.
54. Take your sofa for a walk.
55. Write a letter to Plato.
56. Mail it.
57. Start.
58. Stop.
59. Dial 911...breath heavily.
60. Go to a funeral...tell jokes.

3560

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

61. Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets.
62. Carry a tune.
63. Drop it to see if it breaks.
64. Starch your shoes.
65. Contemplate a cockroach.
66. Get a dog to chase your car.
67. Let him catch it.
68. Form a political party.
69. Throw a political party.
70. Climb a sidewalk

3561

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

71. Ride a loaf of bread.
72. Annoy yourself.
73. Get angry with yourself.
74. Stop speaking to yourself.
75. Kiss and make-up.
76. Stand on your head.
77. Stand on someone else's head.
78. Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire.
79. Read a Harlequine Romance Novel...but only if you're REALLY bored.
80. Build a pyramid

3562

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

81. Paint your teeth.
82. Wear a salad.
83. Speak with a forked tongue.
84. MAKE a drive in window at your local bank.
85. Walk on water...but DON'T get caught.
86. Shave a shrub.
87. Have a proton fight.
88. Watch a car rust.
89. Quiver.
90. Confess to a crime that you didn't commit.

3563

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

91. Learn to type...with your toes.
92. Buy the Brooklyn Bridge.
93. Mail it to a friend.
94. Be in the wrong place at the right time.
95. Be someone special.
96. Plot the overthrow of your local School Board.
97. Request covert assistance from the CIA.
98. Factor your social security number.
99. Take the fifth.
100. Take the sixth.

3564

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

101. Read the 1962 Des Moines White Pages.
102. Join the Foreign Legion.
103. Learn to write Sanskrit.
104. Learn to read Sanskrit.
105. Exist...existentially of course.
106. Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska.
107. Hot wax the bottoms of your roommate's dress shoes.
108. Print counterfeit Confederate money.
109. Kick a cabbage.
110. Take a picture.

3565

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

111. Put it back.
112. Go back to square one.
113. Sand a mushroom.
114. Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor.
115. Play solitare...for cash.
116. Abuse your patio furniture.
117. Run for Pope.
118. If you don't win, run for God.
119. If you still don't win, run for Mayor of Toledo.
120. Write a book about a previous life.

3566

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

121. Count to a million...fast.
122. Have your cat bronzed.
123. Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins.
124. Revert.
125. Sleep on a bed of nails.
126. Don't toss and turn.
127. Think shallow thoughts.
128. Run around in squares.
129. Boil ice cream.
130. Sterilize your stereo with Jack Daniels.

3567

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

131. Carve your girl/boyfriends initials...in a marshmallow.
132. Converse...with a flatworm.
133. Speak in acronyms.
134. Drive the speed limit...in your garage.
135. Make a schematic drawing...of a rock.
136. Be a rabid Boxcar Willi fan.
137. Sing the National Anthem...during your calculus final.
138. Pay off the national debt...with a bad check.
139. Calmly have a nervous breakdown.
140. Give your goldfish a perm.

3568

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

141. Fly a brick.
142. Play tag...on the nearest interstate.
143. Exorcise a ghost.
144. Exersize a ghost.
145. Go to a cemetary and verbally abuse dead people.
146. Paint stripes on a lake.
147. Ski Kansas.
148. Wear a bowler...hat, stupid.
149. Test thin ice...with a pogo stick.
150. Apply for a Unicorn Hunting License.

3569

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White