05-01-2004, 01:45 AM
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yada, yada, yada
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 2,805
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Quote:
Originally posted by CunningLinguist
Answer me this.......Do you like yourself?
I suppose I do. I think that all in all I am a pretty great guy except for one thing, no one would ever want me.
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Not true, you found one, you can find another...be patient
Quote:
Originally posted by CunningLinguist
You have to realize I am jsut an average looking guy in a world of hunks. I am just a simple peasant in a land of kings. I am a single and horny guy constantly surrounded by beautiful women and I know I can't have any of them.[/B]
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Who says you can't have any of them? I bet they don't feel that way. And so what if you're only "average looking"? Lyle Lovitt got Julia Roberts to go out with him for crying out loud!!! It's not about looks...it's about confidence and being interesting. Use what you got!
Quote:
Originally posted by CunningLinguist
I know I have no chance. For starters it had been 3 years since I had met a woman who was single that I found attractive. That was my ex-fiancee, and well we all know that she dumped my sorry ass once she realized she could do better by marrying a better looking man who has a job.[/B]
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Sounds to me like she was a superficial bitch...I think you could do better. I don't know your job situation and granted that may or may not be a valid point, but if she dumped you just on looks alone, I wouldn't have wanted her or given her a second thought.
Quote:
Originally posted by CunningLinguist
Yeah, I may be funny, intelligent, loyal and a kind person, but obviously none of that means shit as I can't even get a girl to notice me no matter what I did unless I do something stupid or offensive.[/B]
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Well quit with the stupid and offensive shit, obviously it doesn't work. Next time, just try "Hello. My name is..." It works wonders as a pick up line. Just be sure to follow up by proving that you are a funny, intelligent, loyal and kind person.
Quote:
Originally posted by CunningLinguist
Then it starts nagging me in the back of my mind.
"Why is she with him?" [/B]
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Because you two weren't right together...be happy you found that out sooner rather than later and move on...
Quote:
Originally posted by CunningLinguist
"Why am I destined to eb all alone in this world?" [/B]
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You're not
Quote:
Originally posted by CunningLinguist
"If I am destined to be all alone, then why would a loving God instill in me such desires to procreate and then go nine years to not answer my prayers to remove my desire." [/B]
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See above ^^^ and God didn't answer those prayers because he knows better than you
Quote:
Originally posted by CunningLinguist
"Why can't a woman tell me to my face that I am unattractive rather than beat around the bush with this whole I am sure you would find the right girl, Brett?"[/B]
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Because that may not be what she means. Ever think that she may not consider you unattractive, but that she just knows you're not right together? Personality clash, different goals, ect.
Just my 2 cents worth, but I have been in your shoes. Then guess what? Everybody was right. I did find the right one for me.
(And just for the record, I am only average looking. The nice guy did win for once. And she IS beautiful. So, yes, there is hope!)
*quietly steps down from the pulpit and runs off
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05-01-2004, 03:09 AM
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yada, yada, yada
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 2,805
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Oh, and I almost forgot...
QUIT WHINING!!!!
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05-01-2004, 03:17 AM
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Learning to talk sexy
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 3,264
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Quote:
Originally posted by CunningLinguist
So are we all in agreement that there is no one out there for me?
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I think you've missed the point entirely .... most of what has been said to you has not been in agreement. However, none of us is able to change your mind about who you are and what you have to offer, you have to do that yourself.
I can say that looks don't matter nearly as much to most women as they do to most men .... that's not positive or negative, just a difference in brain chemestry. But for the most part, women are looking for men with a sense of humor, a sense of purpose and who know how to listen and care about them as an individual. If you can bring those to the table, we'll put up with an inordinate amount of "negative" stuff. Did your ex tell you she left you because of your looks and lack of a job, or have you assumed that because you believe the new guy is better looking and has a job? Did she tell you other things that maybe you just didn't want to hear and so you decided they weren't part of her decision.
Lack of a job, however, is a fairly important issue to most women, because we need to know that the man in our life is willing to at the very least work with us in moving towards certain goals, buying a home, supporting a family, putting kids through college, etc.
I'm not here to judge you, just trying to give you some insight, you cannot and will not change who the women are, but you can make changes in yourself .... you are not destined to be alone, but if you aren't willing to make changes to move away from being alone, you may end up alone. But then as I said before, you may end up alone anyway, there are no guarantees in this life, except that if you keep doing what you've been doing, I can pretty much guarantee that your results aren't going to be different than what you've had in the past.
K, I'm off my soap box now, I wish you well in pursuit of what you want.
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05-01-2004, 06:56 AM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Back in the US finally
Posts: 1,704
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I offered an explanation for why they weren't telling you what you wanted to hear. I said nothing about whether or not I thought they, or you, were right.
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05-01-2004, 09:29 AM
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Grouch
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 545
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Not true, you found one, you can find another...be patient
I only found my ex through a random meeting on ICQ and it turns out I was talking to the only single beautiful woman for 200 miles.
Turns out that she never left the house all that much and since she was homeschooled she must have never learned that she was capable of getting guys who are much better.
Who says you can't have any of them? I bet they don't feel that way.
Well, you are right. All the women I meet keep saying that they are sure that there is a right girl out there for me, but it is not them. Well if all women are in agreement that they are not the right girl for me, then I can't have any of them, correct?
Besides the odds are incredibly slim that this new girl that walks into my presence is single.
OH and Lyle Lovett got Julia Roberts becuase he is not only an artist, but a celebrity. I am not only a lowly peasant, but a rather untalented one at that.
Sounds to me like she [my ex] was a superficial bitch...
She is only human and as such she will choose for herself what is best for her and her offspring.
I think you could do better.
Not really.
1) Single beautiful women are hard to come by unless you like them illegally young.
2) Look at me fer Christsakes not many women are looking for a nerdy guy working a dead end job who is rather plain looking. Women can and will fuck a guy w/o a job if he is hot enough and is an alpha male. They will also fuck a nerd if he has money.
I don't know your job situation and granted that may or may not be a valid point,[i]
At the time I had just graduated from college with an Engineering degree and no job despite searching every day for the past year. I was broke like a two dollar wristwatch and had no place to live in two weeks and no food to eat.
I did however find a job by July and I was laid off in the middle of September. I worked fast food for six months and recently I am working for the same call center that laid me off and I expect to be laid off in June and that is when I will prolly crash on a fellow pixie's couch for about a month while I try to find a job to pay my rather hefty bills.
A few months ago I decided to stop looking for an engineering job and just resign to working as a drudge the rest of my life. At least, it will keep the women who were only interested in my money away which is practically ll of them it seems.
[i]but if she dumped you just on looks alone, I wouldn't have wanted her or given her a second thought.
No, I don't think she dumped me on looks alone, but I think it may had been a factor considering that when she got to Bible college all of her peers where pestering her as how a beautiful girl like her would be seen with a guy like me.
You know you are right I should get on my knees and thank God everday that I constantly know which women are totally wrong for me. Most guys never get that ability where as I can safely assume that none of them were right for me, and while we are the suject of God, let me jsut say that the only reason I can se for praying for 9 years and it going unanswered is that either God is a sadistic ass or is deaf to my pleas.
There is only a very slim chance that my creator actually likes me and therefore knows there is someone out there for me and that is why I have a carnal desire to fuck jsut about any good looking woman, but no outlet for my sexual fustrations yet.
I am glad however yo took the time to tell me how things got better for you though. I really love hearing how people who think they were jsut as hopeless as me won the pretty girl, respect of their fellow man and rode off into the sunset a hero with sacks loaded with platinum and doughnuts.
I am not you though so I don't see how that ancedote provides me with any hope. NOw if some woman could love me in my depressed state and know full well that she could be jsut as happy with other men out there, then maybe there is hope for everyone.
__________________
Well sir that seems to be someone else's problem.
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05-01-2004, 09:32 AM
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Grouch
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 545
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Did your ex tell you she left you because of your looks and lack of a job?
No, she said it was becuase I play video games, watch cartoons and my lack of faith and well other reasons that changed every time we talked.
SHe however told her mutual firends that it was becuase I was some loser who lives with his parents with no job, no future and besides she could get someone cuter.
Speaking of lack of faith "How much faith does she have for abandoning a firend jsut as the road darkens?"
I have ten million times her faith becuase I still had not killed myself yet, but she leaves me the second I graduate from college and don't have a job or a place to live in a few weeks.
__________________
Well sir that seems to be someone else's problem.
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05-01-2004, 09:37 AM
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Grouch
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 545
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Ginger,
I think all women have this instinctive need to avoid guys like me.
Anyways when all women keep telling me that there is a girl out there for me but it is not them, then I begin to think that there is no woman outhere for me.
Then I begin to think that they are jsut telling me to blow me off and they think that by lying to me it would get me to shut up. Look, I grew up with a mother who would lie to me all the time just toget me to shut up. I learned to hate that behavior and I have become quite good and detecting cop outs.
I just want one woman on to admit I was being copped out and say what she was really thinking that thgere is no way in hell she can think of any girl wanting to date me.
__________________
Well sir that seems to be someone else's problem.
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05-01-2004, 09:48 AM
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yada, yada, yada
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 2,805
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Sounds like you don't need a woman so much as you need counseling. I'm not saying that to be a smart ass, but you sound extremely depressed and have some self worth issues. Good luck to you.
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05-01-2004, 10:38 AM
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I do naked cartwheels.
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 2,394
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Quote:
Originally posted by CunningLinguist
All the women I meet keep saying that they are sure that there is a right girl out there for me, but it is not them. Well if all women are in agreement that they are not the right girl for me, then I can't have any of them, correct?
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All the trout I eat are dead.
Therefore, all trout are dead.
Have you met every women in the world and discussed with them if they are the right girl for you???
Who the hell taught you logic? Sue them!
Quote:
I am jsut an average looking guy in a world of hunks.
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I'm a hunk????? WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's nice to meet someone who can take the simple concept of fishing for compliments - an entirely worthwhile occupation when practiced in moderation - and totally overdose on it. Well done. I'm sure it will achieve... um, whatever you're trying to achieve.
Why do people say "I'm sure you'll meet the right person some day"? You KNOW why. You're not stupid, so don't pretend you are. People aren't going to say you're a prick a) to your face b) if you're not a prick and c) if they feel rude or cruel for saying so. Unless they're a bitch, I'll concede that possibility. Would you rather discuss your love life with a bitch?
It's been said a hundred thousand times here that finding someone special is extremely unlikely to happen if you're hunting for it. The secret, from most of the successful people I know both in here and in the wider world, have found happiness with someone they love because they WEREN'T looking for it. Because they were being themselves, and themselves were what the OTHER person wanted.
There are LOTS of beautiful (not that that's really a consideration anyway) single and interesting women out there. Hell, if there aren't, then all of us single 'hunks' better either turn gay or become hermits. But you're going to repel more people than you attract not because of your looks, but because of your negativity. Who the hell wants to live with a whinger?
Is it REALLLY too hard to say "well, I'm single, and that's a bugger. But fuck that, today I think I'll join a gym club and start setting myself some positive fitness goals" or "today I'll sign up for that weekend hang-gliding course" or whatever it is that gets you out in the real world being positive, happy and interesting.
If I were a girl and had a choice between a bloody ugly bloke who was lovely to hang around with (be it on a hang-glider or not) or a 'hunk' who played computer games all day and only ever talks about what a dickhead he is, well pass me the blindfold and let me talk to the ugly guy.
Unless I'm an airhead bimbo, of course.
So chin up, smile, think happy thoughts and put into motion things that are going to bring you success - financially, spiritually and emotionally. Only then can you even think about sexually.
Your friendly hunk,
CasperTG.
PS by 'financially successful' at the end there - I don't mean rich, I mean having a secure future and comfortable income.
PPS Individual results may vary. See your doctor if negativity persists.
__________________
You know, Blackadder, for me socks are like sex. Tons of it about and I never seem to get any.
-- Prince George
My Photos:
https://imgur.com/a/80hiRdm
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05-01-2004, 01:11 PM
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broken
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 1,164
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I was going to avoid posting in this thread, but I have to toss my 2 cents into the fountain. People here have tried to post their honest responses and thoughts on your question, but you have only sought to de-bunk them with whatever responses you may, but the main gist of what you respond with is that everyone else is wrong, and the world is out to get you. I only point this out because I've done the same thing. The lack of self-esteem came from an abusive relationship that I got out of. Your lack seems to come from the ex that you speak of. You need to free yourself from her and move on. The only thing that you can do is truly learn to be happy with yourself. I know that you say that you are, but it doesn't sound like it to me, from someone who's been there. I don't mean to preach, and I'm not perfect either, but you have to like yourself. And you need to truly believe that being alone is ok. Once you learn to celebrate yourself and your fabulousness as a singlet, things won't look so grim. I hope that I've helped a little...
__________________
I see your fantasy... you want to make it a realityAre you in the mood to be subdued You see these shackles
Baby I’m your slave
I’ll let you whip me if I misbehaveTie me to the bedpost
I like it rough
cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
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05-01-2004, 03:41 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Northern USA
Posts: 1,164
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Someone who perpetually asks the same questions, regardless of getting some decent answers doesn't want to make any changes, just wants to stay living the way they are.... Open your mind a little, let stuff go, be happy with you and what you are alone. Untill you truly can like yourself, you will never find anyone who likes you either.
As far as finding a "beautiful or hot" girl, whats the matter with pretty or average anyway? I have a theory that the really hot people have horrible sex anyway, because they have never had to try!
No matter how good looking one is there is always someone better looking! It's just the way it works.
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my pics
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Never say never, but if you do it's okay to change your mind~ me, I think
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05-01-2004, 07:24 PM
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Weedscreamer
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,089
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There is nothing to say to you, Cunning. You have reasons "why not" for anything and everything. Hmmm...You use "copping out". You are very good at doing that. Are you even open to new thoughts and experiences? Or are you just determined to post and whine. You're tired of people lying to you? BS. You're just not hearing what you WANT to hear. Open up and look at what people have been trying to say to you. Oh, and if you think everyone is lying to you and feeding you BS, why do you post?
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Just be yourself. The rest will fall in line.
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05-01-2004, 07:25 PM
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Weedscreamer
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,089
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TO Lilith...If there is a problem with my previous post, please delete as you see fit. Thanks.
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Just be yourself. The rest will fall in line.
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05-01-2004, 07:29 PM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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Well gotta say i agree with what you wrote Mae
__________________
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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05-01-2004, 11:02 PM
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Grouch
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 545
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So there is no one out there for me?
I am glad at least some of you have come to say that.
__________________
Well sir that seems to be someone else's problem.
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