Fortunately, just behind the Green Giant where he couldn't be seen was a traveling dildo salesman.

Unfortunately, they were Jolly Green Giant-sized dildos.

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"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author

Fortunately, they were like those Japanese dolls that stack one inside the other, so you could open the back of the big one and find a smaller one, and keep doing that until you reached the 8" size.

Unfortunately, the nesting dildoes were stuck together so firmly, the maiden couldn't get to the one she needed.

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

Fortunately, the travelling dildo salesman also had a Jolly Green Giant-sized tube of KY jelly, which the maiden used to make all the dildos slick...until she found the one she wanted.

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"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author

Unfortunately the lube made it so slick that she put it into her pussy and it shot out kill the salesman and wounding the giant.

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I have great abs, some men have six packs I have a keg!

Fortunately, one of the people standing around was a mortician, and he went right to work.

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"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author

Unfortunately the mortician hit some of the lube and fell face first into the lady's lubed crotch. Embedding him into her.

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I have great abs, some men have six packs I have a keg!

Fortunately, while he was embedded nose-first, he was a mouth breather.

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"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author

Unfortunately, he inhaled the lube while trying to breathe.

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

Fortunately, he had to sneeze.

Unfortunately when inhaling to sneeze he sucked up a big glob of lube.

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Rain: Liquid Sunshine!

Life's A Bitch, but I Deal withit!!

Fortunately, he was his town's spit champion, and got rid of that lube quickly.

__________________


"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author

Fortunately it was discharged when he did sneeze.

Unfortunately, a little girl saw the whole thing and went screaming to her mommy.

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"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author