We're going to pass a health care plan
written by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it,
passed by a Congress that hasn't read it but exempts themselves from it,
signed by a president that also hasn't read it, and who smokes,
with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes,
overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and
financed by a country that's nearly broke.

What possibly could go wrong? Somebody's going to end up telling us this
was all just a joke ... right?

During A Recent Password Audit, It Was Found That A Blonde Was Using The Following Password:

Mickeyminnieplutohueylouiedeweydonaldgoofy



When Asked Why Such A Big Password, She Said That It Had To Be At Least 8 Characters Long.

Yes, but the punchline won't hit for seven years.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Green Tree Snakes, can be dangerous.
A couple in Lismore, N.S.W. had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing some of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green tree snake was hidden in one of the plants, and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa..

She let out a very loud scream!

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.

About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The paramedics rushed in, wouldn't listen to his protests, and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out.

About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and a paramedic saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. The man broke his leg and is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor. He volunteered to capture the snake.

He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that he had been bitten by the snake.

She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred.

They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green tree snake. The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

The little snake again came out from under the sofa. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, and the lamp on it shattered, and as the bulb broke it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, the burning drapes were seen by the neighbors who called the fire department.

The firemen had started raising the fire truck ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the electricity, and disconnected the telephones in a ten city-block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV, and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

That's when he shot her.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Look closely, very closely at this picture.

We'll discuss it tomorrow.

Attached Images

EyeTest.JPG (58.4 KB, 107 views)

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

I hope to hell you want us to find what I found.

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"BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Will he offer me his mouth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his teeth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his jaws? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Again, will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes! GIRL: Yes. BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Yes. BOY: I bet you say that to all the boys!" -Meatloaf

I love the background.

For those of you who cannot tell the difference between an arse and an armpit, well, what can I say?

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

There was an armpit in the background?

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night".
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

Republicans do not believe government is the answer to any of problems and should to do as little as possible and that most or all of its functions should be performed by the private sector.
SO they run for office effectively saying we can't govern and don't believe we should govern and people vote for them ?
It's as if I applied for my job as a mechanical engineer with a resume that stated I don't beleieve in physics.

The joke's on us.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

I suspect that it is presented in the sense "That government is best which governs least", rather than advocating "do the wrong thing - vote for me". It is an interesting read. Thoreau argues that people should not permit governments to make them the agents of injustice. Limited government (certainly in comparison to many other democracies) has characterized the US since its inception.

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Eudaimonia

Minimal government has led to the excesses of the past few years.

There is a "sweet spot" where governance and capitalism should meet, but no-one can agree where it is.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

That is why multi-party democracies are essential.

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Eudaimonia