Thicker is better than longer for me.
I'm a small woman, and extra length can be an issue. I've had more than a few well-endowed men slam into my cervix during sex, which HURTS!
Thicker is better because I stretch just fine to match it, thank you.
Oral and anal are different issue.
My hubby is a little smaller than average, proportional as he is not a tall man, and he is happy being so as I can easily take him in my mouth, deep throat him, and take him in my ass without excessive discomfort.
( little discomfort is good in anal, at least for me)
For vaginal sex, he fits me just fine, and fills me in just the right way *sigh*
WW