I need some help, my sex life has fallen into a rut, its always make out, then me perform oral sex, and then sex. My gf has gotten used to my tongue, and its getting harder to bring her to orgasm. The main problem, is that she doesnt get wet, and her vagina doesnt expand unless her clit is stimulated.

She is very finicky about orgasms, if it is too intense she gets turned off. It makes it very hard for me to rub her clit too orgasm.


I guess what im asking along with the rest of the questions, is how can I get her to talk to me more about the sensations she feels and what she likes. She wont even ask for oral sex, even though I have told her 100 times that it turns me on. She gets embarresed about it, but I havent been able to figure out how to get her to express her desires.

Heaven knows I have little expertise in this, but maybe if she's uncomfortable with saying the words that you could come to a "code" behavior that she can use that will let you know what she would like. I had a friend who said his wife would always put a Hersheys candy bar on the top in his underwear drawer in the morning if she wanted to have sex that night ... something like that -- or maybe a particular action or noise during that would let you know she ESPECIALLY liked what you just did ... just my simple ideas .... hope you find a workable solution for the two of you.

Here's a few ideas: Maybe you should not have sex for a little bit. Not too long, of course, but if you're used to it every night or so, maybe wait a week. It will give you time to remember why you like it so much, and will give you the opportunity to miss that kind of contact with each other. Also, do you tell her the kind of things that you like? If she sees you are open with communicating about sex, she may feel she may be able to open up a little more too. Lastly, try to bring it up when sex is NOT on the mind, i.e. not right after sex, during "pillow talk". Have a nice night together, have dinner or whatever you guys like to do, and then, when you're both feeling relaxed and comfortable, just bring it up. Tell her you love to pleasure her and want to make her feel good, and you feel that could be expanded upon by her sharing what she likes. If she is shy at first, suggest a few things you could try. Maybe you could have sex different places then usual, or watch a porno together. If she is a little more adventurous, bring whipped cream or chocolate syrup into the bedroom, or maybe silk scarves and blindfolds. Just make sure whatever you do, she is comfortable. You may have to go slow, but I am sure it will be worth it-for BOTH of you-in the end.

I know this was long, but I hope it helps!

*Cherry*

Thanks for the advice cherrychick. The problem is not that shes not adventurous in the bedroom, but mainly that she has problems communicating her feeling about it.

I dont think she would go for the not having sex for a little bit. She just enjoys it too much

And I try to tell her the things I like, but I see your point now. Sometimes I dont want to say anything, because I dont want her to stop doing it, because she feels that I am crticizing her effort. Maybe I will work on it somemore.