That's not as bad as the cat that realized affection was happening and wanted some--and she was afraid of cats! To compound it there was no way to lock the cat out.

How about getting your head stuck between the headboard and the mattress while you are gettin busy?

Now that is a story I would like to hear.....Care to share?

__________________
DAMN, YOU ARE A SEXY ONE-skipthisone

I beleive in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I beleive in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Kevin Costner/Bull Duram

"Your body as well as mine has needs. This is juat a little foreplay to highten our desire for each other. If we play out the game of love to it's natural conclusion, you'll experience fulfillment. Give yourself up to me and I'll guide you along the path to pareadise. Together we will be like fire and ice, love and hate, life and death." Virginia Henley

WANTED: a moment when you kiss someone and eveything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and this person and you relize that he is the only person your suppose to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift. You want to laugh and you want to cry. Cause you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared it will all go away at the same time.

We were actually on the couch one night (rather than the bed) and I managed to fall (or get pushed) off and landed HARD on my wrist. It wasn't broken, but badly sprained. It wasn't enough to distract us into stopping -- I just had to be really careful! Some things are worth a little pain and inconvenience! I wrapped it up later!

__________________
"Sex should be friendly. Otherwise, stick to mechanical toys; it's more sanitary". Lazarus Long in Robert Heinlein's "Time Enough for Love"

Once many years ago, my ex-husband and I were having a great time. My knee collided with his eye and my knee hurt like hell... as did his eye. We were having such a good time that we decided to ignore it. But the next day I had a sore limp and he had an enormous black eye, and his eyeball was bright red.

Other than that, there have been occasional farts, cramps and wet dog nose on my ass when I was on all fours.

__________________
Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN


It's no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst.
~Tom Stoppard~


It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
~George Burns~


As bad as I am, I'm proud of the fact that I'm worse than I seem.
~A. DiFranco~

Been there.

My ex and I were into the CB radio shtick and had our radio in the bedroom. One evening, a pillow got thrown and it hit the microphone lock button. Wasnt long before friends recognized our voices and the phone started ringing...

(shhh. ignore it and it will quit)

__________________
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to slide in broadside , thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming --WOW-- What a Ride!

I got my leg caught between the edge of the bed and the matress of a waterbed while in mid thrust. My leg slid all the way through until I hit floor.

__________________
Deep into that darkness peering,
long I stood there, wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams
no mortal ever dreamed before.

Fell off the bed once...