My husband and I recently tried bringing another man into our sex life to spice things up, without the other guy knowing my husband was ok with it. I would have sex with this guy then tell my husband about it. well he decided he didn't want to do this anymore so he told me to stop so I did but told him I wanted to have this guy in my life as a friend only, my husband flipped and since then all we do is fight about it. what do I do?

Let him go. This new interest will poison your relationship with your husband.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Gotta agree with the farty one above me. Any further 'ship' u have with this guy - relationship, friendship, battleship whatever - it's only going to further enrage your marriage.
Why complicate things? You wanted fun, you had a go, it didn't work out. Move on to something else, possibly something less marriage-threatening. Like His 'N' Hers Brazilian waxing.

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You know, Blackadder, for me socks are like sex. Tons of it about and I never seem to get any.

My Photos:
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Nadia-

While not an overly vocal Pixie, you have been with us a long time and know we shear our honest thoughts and experiences so you deserve an honest reply. Your situation looks the same up here as it does to my Aussie mates ^^^ downunder. Would it look any different to you if he had been the one seeing a friend and coming back with the titillating tales and now wanted to 'just be friends' with her? Seems Casper is right that you BOTH ventured to a place that wasn't to BOTH your likings.

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If you want your marriage to survive, let this 'other' guy go.

If you cannot let the 'other' go then you need to take a hard long look at yourself & your marriage. Work out if keeping the 'other' in your life is worth the damage it WILL do.

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I did something similar in my first de facto relationship. The guy concerned was a friend of his. At first my partner enjoyed knowing I was having fun with his best mate but eventually he told me he didn't appreciate it. I also came to realize it was no longer fun anymore so was happy when the other guy got married so I used that as an excuse to graciously bow out of the situation.

We were silly enough to do it all again later with someone else, and this ended with my ex leaving when he realized I was falling for this one. He could handle me having fun sexually but that was all. I ended up staying with the next guy.

Now looking back, I've come to realize that neither my ex nor myself had much self respect at the time. I'd hurt him for a bit of fun and ended up feeling cheap as I knew the first guy was just using me for easy sex. The second relationship was rocky. Even though I stuck it out for several years, it never had a strong foundation.

I've done a lot of growing up since then, and would never put myself nor my current boyfriend through something like that. I just take advantage of my fantasies and Pixies to get my extra thrills nowadays.

ditto

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I like; a) taint brushing: b) a good cigar: c) our juices together; d) champagne: e) protein squirts; f)more of these; g)much more of these; h) Damn, slide that thing into me. Deep!
Adage: 2 things are certain in life; Death & Taxes. Therefore; God & Beelzebub had a meeting to fix the problem. A mighty storm prevailed for ages until finally they ended the storm with the agreement: From now on Anyone whom chooses doesn't have to die. "Everyone wins said Beelzebub. You get an eternally grateful bunch of worshippers praying forever for lower taxes as I goad & prod them forever with higher & higher taxation."

Hey, PantyFanatic, I'm honoured to share initials with you. (BTW, have you seen where my undies went? They were by my keyboard a second ago.....)

grum bra rumdatde cubupdta blupmmuta kuaa


*gulp*

Sorry about that. I had something pink stuck in my mouth.


Your Panties? ........ Nup! I haven't seen them. For the past 5 seconds. *GULP*

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OMG! PantyF swallows!

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You know, Blackadder, for me socks are like sex. Tons of it about and I never seem to get any.

My Photos:
https://imgur.com/a/80hiRdm

i dont think the problem is lack of information in this case Cjack. I believe that hubby just didnt realize that this wasnt a fantasy that would all be okay when he opened his eyes.

to address CJacks' buzzwords

Love { both get an A} their love for one another is obvious in their willingness to try new things to enrich their sex lives together. Trust { both get an A } hubby obviously trusted her to use protection and to choose a partner that wouldnt endanger her; she trusted him to tell her if he had a problem with the interactions. Communication she failed to tell Option #2 she was married. When her husband told her he wasnt comfortable with the reality of the situation she cant seem to respect his needs for a monogamous relationship.

K

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-Seems we got here just in the nick of time. Whats that make us?
--Big damn heros Sir.
-Ain't we just.

During a time some years ago that I now refer to as "The Great Experiment," my hubby wanted to attend a swingers gathering with the idea that we could live out some of the things we jointly fantasized about. I was nervous about the whole prospect, but said I'd give it a try. I met a man the very first night who became my lover for about 3 months. It was a very exciting and very selfish time in my life, looking back, and while I wasn't terrible, I didn't acquit myself in the manner I now wish I had. It was the first time in my life that I'd felt desirable to men and sexually powerful, and that's a heady cocktail. (No pun intended.) In time, though, the Mister tired of TGE, and asked me to stop fucking my lover. We had some sincere, difficult, and teary conversations about it, and ultimately, I complied with his wishes. Why? Because as much fun as I might've been having, I couldn't have any fun knowing my actions hurt the man I loved most in the world. My selfishness only went so far.

Years later, we revisited the discussion, again at my hubby's initiation. But the point is, we talked about it, every step of the way--when it started, when it was fun, when it got dicey, when it stopped, and when we thought about it again. And we showed caring, love, and respect for each other while we did it, even when we saw things differently. Ultimately, our choices were made with the needs of our beloved in mind; frankly, I don't see any other way to approach decisions of any kind in a loving, committed relationship.

It's okay to want what you want. It's okay for him to want something else. It's not okay to demand someone else want what you want, or to think that actions will not have consequences. All actions do--even if he went along with you, there'd be consequences. All any of us can do is to determine which consequences are most palatable to us, and behave accordingly.

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OTP, siempre

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