MOMS Bill of Rights

My son came home from school one day,
with a silly grin on his face,
He thought he was smarter than me, his Mom,
and could put me in my place.

HE SAID:
Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright,
It's about the laws of the land today,
its called THE CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS.

IT SAID:
I don't have to clean my room,
I don't have to cut my hair.
Nobody can tell me what to eat,
My freedom of speech is guaranteed.
Its my choice of what I read, or watch on TV.

I have freedom of religion,
and regardless of what you say,
I don't have to ask your God for help ---
I DON'T HAVE TO PRAY.

I can wear an earring in my ear,
And, if I want, can pierce my nose.
It's my choice if I so desire,
to tattoo Satan's numbers across my toes.

AND if you try to spank me,
I will charge you with the crime,
and I can back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.

HE SAID:
Don't ever touch me,
this body is only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses and stuff,
that's just another form of child abuse.

HE CONTINUED WITH:
Don't fill my head with morals,
like your mama did to you,
That's what's called mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
you can't do a thing to me,
I can call Children's Services,
better known as C. S. D.

MY TURN!!!!

My very first impression was,
to toss this boy out the door,
But here was a chance to teach him a lesson,
for once and ever more.

I took my time and mulled it over,
I couldn't let this go.
This kid of mine didn't realize,
that he was messing with a pro!

AND AWAY WE GO.............
The next day we went shopping,
and in spite of every plea,
I didn't buy him 501s
or shirts designed by Nike.

I had called and talked to C. S. D.,
they said they didn't care,
if I bought him K-Mart shoes,
or a pair of Nike Airs.

AND THEN:
I canceled his appointment
to test his driving skills,
I'd probably be dead by now,
if only looks could kill!

I SAID:
There's no time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff to munch,
I think you should follow C. S. D.'s advice,
And make yourself a sack lunch.

So, what if you are too hungry,
to wait 'til dinner time?
Well, we're having liver and onions,
Cause it's a favorite dish of mine.

He ASKED:
Can we stop to get a movie,
so I can watch it on my VCR?
Absolutely not! I sold the TV in your room
and bought new tires for my car.

I also rented out your room,
you really don't need a bed.
C.S.D. says all that's required of me
is to put a roof over your head.

I only have to buy your clothes,
and the food that you must eat,
The money you used to get for an allowance,
will buy me something neat.

No more eating after we shop,
no more joking along the way,
I too have a BILL OF RIGHTS,
that goes into effect today!

What's the matter, are you crying?
Are you down on your knees?
Why are you asking God for help?.........
WHY NOT CALL THE C.S.D.?

__________________
There's someone in my head, but it's not not me - Pink Floyd

That's funny stuff. Did you write it?

__________________
Did they get you to trade...cold comfort for change? Did you exchange a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
-- Pink Floyd

I've read this before, then lost it...and I've gotta save it and give it to my baby sis so she can show it to her son! TY Bardog!

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Thats real funny. I love it must remember it for when i have kids. I may even show my mom

__________________
Everyone Talks, Friends Listen

Mothers in history


COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint on walls like other
children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, you can just take your hand out of there and show me."

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, but I would like to know how the lamb got a better grade that you."

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? OY! Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew."

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
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