OK so I know this is not exactly the place we discuss kids but it is about sex too...........and I know I rarely ever ask for advice cause I usually think I know it all but here goes.........

I get home late last night from class and immediately jump on Pixies to see what you sexy peeps have been up to while I was away, while doing that I happen to spot some hits in the history to Playboy and Girl Gone Wild sites. Ok so I ask my hubby.....nope not him. That only leaves one other person...........my baby....ok obviously not a baby, he is 11. So I had a small coronary...and asked my S/O to be sure to talk to him.....but here is my dilemma, my S/O is lovely kind and gentle but he is also a tiny bit prudish. I don't want my kid to feel like he can't talk about things, and I want him to feel OK talking to me about sex too. So, do I talk to him about it, him having seen these sites?? I don't wanna freak him out but I also take issue with him sneaking to do it? What do ya think???

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
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One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Lilith..

I think that you should talk to him... infact I think that this is a great opportunity to do so (easy for me to say as my son is 7 and thank goodness I haven't had to do it yet. LOL). Doing so now, I think will only instill in him the realization that he can talk to you about anything.

How do you approach it? Well.. certainly not in an accusitory manner, infact not entirely necessary that you even bring up your discovery of his actions on the net. Bring home a Victoria's Secret catalog.. sit on the couch when he is there... and slowly bring up the issue of beautiful women and go from there (or atleast I think that is what I would do).

LOL~ I think everyone is giving there boys Vicki's Secret's catlogs as soft porn now........... here is my issue with that......... those are not real women. Airbrished, silicon enhanced, anorexic, women are not the image I want my son to have as a reference for what beauty is.........
Jenna~ I think you are on the right track I certainy don't wanna make him feel ashamed of his curiousity in any way...TY

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Lil....no need to have a meltdown..it's bound to happen sooner or later...heehee. I would definetly talk to him, but not as an angry mom..Tell him he will have plenty opportunity to view that as he gets older..and there is no need to rush things. Stay a kid as long as possible....But All kids are curious at that age.......just like Us Adults...heehee...so grin and bear it...your baby is growing up!!!

But think of this...there are kids that are 11 that are sexually active out there....so count yourself lucky he is only looking at those sites!!

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*Diva*



"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

OMG hush!!!!!

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Simply tell his that it is illgeal for him to go to those sites till he is 18, and he could very well get in trouble with the law for going to them. You don't have to get harsh but that should scare the socks off him till he hits puberty. At which time he will probably go back to those sites covering up his tracks as he goes along.

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Man who go through turnstile sidesways is going to Bangkok.

Your right.. those women in Victorias Secret aren't real.. and that is a great way to approach the sexuality issue in general..

I have a 7 year old son. Thank heavens.. he is tooo young yet to be askin many questions about sex... BUT.. he is picking things up.. The other day.. I was looking thru the lastest issue of People.. and the magazine had atleast 2 sexy undy ads for ladies. You know the kind.. skimpy bra and panties.. hair blowing in the wind... with a come hither look on her face. Anyway.. I noticed that my son was glancing at it. I asked him if she thought she was "pretty"... he blushed.. and said no.. said that I was pretty (Awwwww.. that is my boy!). I explained to him that I didn't ask if they were prettier, just asked if they were pretty in general.. it was then that he admitted that yes indeed he thought they were pretty. It was then that he and I started a discussion as to "beauty" and thankfully so far.. my son seems to have inherited the knowledge that the outer package isn't as important as what it contains within.

Sorry.. for taking your thread off subject Lilith.. but my point is the same.. I think that you have a great opportunity to address sexuality on a general basis with your son.. and share with him your views (that airbrushed models aren't the ones who last).

Lil ... I don't have any kids, so maybe I'm out in left field, but I don't think I know an 11 yr old boy who wouldn't totally shut down if his mom started to talk to him about sex. But that may be more reflective of those who I know in my day to day life with boys that age .... Does he have a male role model outside the family that might be a neutral source of info and guidance??? sometimes teenagers and those approaching teen years respond better in that type of situation. Anyway, hope you come to an answer that works great for you

Ok well his Dad and he chatted this morning...and I think it went fairly well. So I pick him up from school and it is just him and me. He is talking 100 mph so I know he is trying to avoid the issue, so I just stopped him and we talked...he was curt in his answers but honest and I told him it is perfectly normal for him to be curious especially now that he goes to school with girls who are becomming women. He relaxed and the talk went well.....at the end I asked if he had any questions for me......he said no but then in a little while he said," I have a question....who is better on the computer you or Dad?" I simply answered,"who caught you?!" we giggled and he says" I guess you are Mom." I said "yes so you better not try it again!" I guess we are gonna make it!

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

sounds like you have a great relationship with your kids!! Good job!

Lil,

Pick a few very soft porn sites and tell him you'll nail him to the

clothesline if you catch him there.

Lead him in directions gently.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Glad to hear things went well Lilith.... From all I have learned about you here.. I have no doubt that you are a good mom.. not to mention a damn cool one

Not that your boy is peeking at the girls, but this one fact I (eventually) found. Even though every new set of eyes and jolted synapsis are certain of the NEW discovery or even sure they’re the inventers of, sex has worked for quite a while.
The mental and emotional parts of this will happen just as surely as the physical aspects, and should be just as gradual.
Having gone threw this a couple decades ago, I too found the plastic bag of girlie books in the old dog house in the woods behind our home. I didn’t feel a need to mention it and was just there to answer questions or correct those kid conversations theories as they were “asked”.
The first topic was more about it being a good, natural, personal, adult thing. After that it was easier to just respond to what was their at the time. Worked for me with both my son and daughter who now have they’re own who will be someday make THE DISCOVERY.

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I envy your relationship with your kids, Lilith. Although it might be wrong to suggest that with a Pixies legend like yourself in the house, this was bound to happen sooner or later, I think you, and your hubby, handled it well. Good practice for the next young'un!

Lil, jenna ~ the Victoria Secret's ladies aren't real??? Say it isn't so!!

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I wouldn't say that I'm always horny... it may be true, mind you, I just wouldn't say it!

I look into my crystal ball and see....that Lilith's little boy is taking after his mom. I predict a stimulating future. Poor fella is going to have to wait an awfully long time before one of those exciting ladies gives him a ride.