This little rant has been triggered by seeing the 'Nurses and food fantasies' thread. So if this is a total mood/fantasy killer, blame treeview

Though I understand the allure to the concept of sex-nurses, I have to say, for nurses, there's little more of a turn off, and not just because it's often associated with sexism.

I'm a nursing student. I've been in clinicals, in which I helped several patients, of both sexes. This included bathing and the like.

Sex is the last thing on our minds...like, ever. I loved doing it; it felt like I was helping people and making a difference, helping my patients become comfortable and ease their pain, and keep them from deteriorating into further health problems. But dude...it's nasty. REALLY nasty. The whole job is one big unpleasant mess.

And beyond the mess, sex would never, EVER be practical. Nurses are so freaking heavily drilled on how to keep sanitary and practically sterile at any given time (we do sterile proceedures but we ALWAYS observe clean technique, no matter what), you start having nightmares about what kind of horrid, fatal infections you'll get if you don't wash your hands at least five times between tasks. It's a total OCD profession.

Which is why I find shows like Grays anatomy and several others to be plain stupid. Okay, I realize that it's a fantasy, I realize it's a program that's just for fun. Yeah, I know I know. But dude. Hospitals are NOT the place to be getting your freakon, and nursing (the act, not the people, mind you) is NOT sexy.

It's...it's...just gross, okay? Ick, nosicomial infections! *shudders*

I'm totally in the wrong profession

__________________
Most things worth saying, shouldn't be.

"Batman was a SCIENTIST?!" -Homer Simpson

Having just come out of hospital, I'd like to say how amazing nurses are and that, from a patient's point of view, I agree that the whole nurse patient relationship is totally non-sexual.

I am incredibly squeamish about blood and guts etc, and know that I could NEVER be in the medical profession, which means I'm always 100% grateful to those people who can not only stomach the job, but choose to do it with such devotion.

Thanks CrouchingBuddha to you and your colleagues. You do a great job.

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"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

Over the course of my life, I have spent too many nights in the hospital to even begin to come up with some sort of accurate tally. Having that sort of history, I guess it's only to be expected that I've been teased at least a few times with a lines like, "So, were the nurses hot?" or "Did she give you a sponge bath?" Of course occasionally I'll play along and make a lewd comment just to sort of save face with the guys or something. Not something I'm proud of but it's something I'll occasionally do and I'll own up to it.

That being said, there is not a single time when a nurse is leaving my room and asks me if there is anything else that they can do for me that I don't tell them that I appreciate the help they are giving me. I don't care if they have done something as simple as bringing me a cup of ice chips or if it's a phlebotomist that has just come in and drawn blood for a blood/gas test, which is very painful, I always tell them that I appreciate their help. I tell them that because I honestly do appreciate them.

If I were to be totally honest, I have never had a "nurse fantasy" in the sense that most would think of it. When I see a nurse performing their duty I can think of nothing but showing them the respect that they deserved. They are the ones who make the hospital experience bearable. Unfortunately, with the hand I've been dealt in life, I will have two or three hospital stays per year. I'm not intimidated at all by hospitals, I'm actually very much at ease in them, that doesn't mean that I don't get scared while I'm there. The nurses are the ones who ease those feelings of fear for me, whether they are doing it intentionally or not.

Not sure what the point is that I'm trying to make really. I guess I was just throwing my two cents into the conversation to let it be known that I have nothing but respect for the nursing profession. Matter of fact I'll be in the hospital again tomorrow and just knowing that there will be nurses there makes me feel better about what I'll be going through.

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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus

These are the kind of thoughts and insights that make me proud to be doing what I'm doing (or trying to do, I guess I should say). I was making this little rant more to be kinda silly and to point out that from a nurse(student)s POV that sex and nursing are about as far appart on the association scale as...well, I can't think of a witty and smart-ass example to use, so I digress.

But in all seriousness, I'm glad to hear people have had positive experiences with nursing. I've been blessed to have avoided spending a lot of time as patient in my life, but when I have, it's been doozies. I was always fascinated by the medical and hospital world, but that never, ever prevented me from getting scared and worried about things. It's just a scary, uncertain situation.

I don't mean to sound self-gratifying, but nurses are always the ones who deal with these things. I don't mean to bad-mouth anyone...but I can't help but saying, Dr.'s (in general, and with exceptions, of course) have such horrible bedside manners that all they seem to do is upset patients more than anything. I've seen this many times, both as a patient and even more so now as a nursing student. They just don't seem to realize and/or care about the kind of pain and suffering and serious emotional issues that their patients are going through. This is, to be fair, likely tied to the kind of role and responsibility spectrum they're looking at, which is very different than that of a nurse.

That's why I want to be a nurse. I think, while Dr.'s may be the ones who end up curing a patient, nurses are the ones who ultimately carry the patient through. They're the one right there, treating, helping, communicating and listening. They see the pain, and they're the ones who help make it better in any way they can. They form the connection and the hands on healing relationship with the patient. And that's what I want, I want to be right there and be able to provide that kind of healing and comfort to the patients immediate problems.

So yeah. This started as a commontary about societies sexual approach toward nursing. I understand this is, of course, a fantasy, but it always just kinda seemed downright illogical to me.

Seems it has moved to more an overall view of nursing. And I'm very happy to find that people do see how much we(nurses) care. It makes me feel like I'm doing the right thing.

__________________
Most things worth saying, shouldn't be.

"Batman was a SCIENTIST?!" -Homer Simpson

I will admit to having at least a few fantasies about nurses. I have an excuse though. When my wife was in the hospital I spent most nights sleeping on her floor, and she had a couple of REALLY good looking nurses that took care of her. Since I hadn't had sex by that time for close to four months, well...

I actually got on trouble one of the nights I didn't stay there. I had come home to do laundry and feed the cat. She happened to have one of my favorite nurses, and the first thing out the the nurses mouth was to ask where I was. She was a REALLY cute nurse.

CB,

I sure didn't mean any disrespect by posting the thread. Nurses make the health care system work because they work so hard themselves.

Over my rough and tumble life I've benefited from the excellent care of many nurses. Most times I'v eknown the nursing staff better than the docs.

Keep up the good work and taking care of clumsy folks like me.

Of all the fantasy archetypes, nurses really never made into my realm...

Tom

Oh it's no problem, Tom, I didn't take offence at all, nor did I think you meant any disrespect or anything of the sort. I just saw the thread and a lil random twitch of rantiness came over me. I'm one of those super annoying people who will rant about anything without even being upset in the first place lol

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Most things worth saying, shouldn't be.

"Batman was a SCIENTIST?!" -Homer Simpson

There may be a twinge of truth in the fantasy.

I noticed in my youth that the two groups most likely to "come across" were nurses

and hairdressers.

A friend said that as these people were used to touching other people on a daily basis, there was less of a resistance.

Nurse/patient? Not at our best.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

When it comes to the reputation of nurses there probably is some kind of hangover from way back when. Prior to the 1850's, and Ms Nightingale, nursing was a job to be ashamed of, one step above a streetwalker. That's why Florence Nightingale caused such a stir, "Why would a lady want to become a nurse." By the 1880's, and largely because of her, nursing had become a respectable career. Then again, it could just be the short skirts they wear.

This is an interesting topic to make me delurk.

*Goes back to lurking*

Sweetie! Hmmm... let's see what you said...

"But ...it's nasty. REALLY nasty. The whole job is one big unpleasant mess... And beyond the mess, sex would never, EVER be practical. Nurses are so freaking heavily drilled on how to keep sanitary and practically sterile at any given time (we do sterile procedures but we ALWAYS observe clean technique, no matter what), you start having nightmares about what kind of horrid, fatal infections you'll get if you don't wash your hands at least five times between tasks. It's a total OCD profession."

And...

"int out that from a nurse(student)s POV that sex and nursing are about as far appart on the association scale as..."

Last...
"It's just a scary, uncertain situation."

Sweetie, you are a Nursing Student!!! Trust me, your feelings and attitudes will change as time goes on and you have more experience in dealing with patients. Right now EVERYTHING is new and scary.
It is true that there is now more emphasis on Universal precautions than there were 10 years ago, and this is good. But I hate seeing Nurses who will not touch a patient, ANY patient, unless they are wearing gloves. This defies science and common sense. Our patients NEED the healing of human touch. Not latex.

And I feel I am qualified to say this...
(Wanda once again feels her OCD energies course through her as she tries to prove her competence)

I graduated Nursing School (BSN) and passed my boards 10 years ago. I have so many certs I can barely count, including TNCC, CCRN, ACLS, CSEC to finally being awarded my MSN/MPH (YESS !!!Finally!!!!)
I was previously certified as a Community Health Nurse and currently am certified in Children's Health Education. I have completed advanced training in Nursing Management AND Critical Care Nursing, and lastly, I am Certified as a Family Planning and Disease Prevention Nurse. (CSEC)
My much -delayed MSN/MPH Thesis was an analysis and quantification of women involved with "Alternative Lifestyles" and their difficulty and reluctance in accessing the Health Care System. (It's a bigger problem than most people realize)

By the way, any women reading this who have had problems, please check out the Mautner Project at www.mautnerproject.org.

Ok, having said ALL of this, for me my Nursing experiences are intertwined with my sex life as far back as my sophomore year in Nursing School.
For example, I got in a great deal of trouble (and notoriety) for visiting a patient (on my own time) and having sex with him in his hospital bed. (well, oral sex anyway). I went to a Halloween party as the Lady Godiva, and was known as "the Naughty Nurse" before the year was over. I dated (fucked) medical students in droves, and had a wonderful time! Plus I entered into my first Lesbian relationship with my roomie.

So I don't really agree with you about Nursing and Sex, but I do agree that Greys Anatomy is silly, as is every other medical show I have ever seen.
Thanks to everyone who was supportive of Nursing in general.

WW is tired and climbs off her soapbox.



Wanda

__________________
"I wondered, am I a lesbian, am I straight, or bisexual? Then I realized that I am just a slut.
So where's MY parade?"

---Margaret Cho

I am wondering what the fuss is about here. I worked at a hospital quite a few years ago and I will be very honest about the fact that I had very strong sexual feelings for more than one nurse at the hospital and in a couple cases, it was reciprocal. Nursing is a wonderful and respected profession and I am in awe of truly good nurses, in total contempt for lazy and non-caring nurses and lustful over sexy nurses. Enough said?

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Lots of people talk and few of them know, soul of a woman was created below

I can't get through to her 'cause it doesn't permit
But I'm gonna give her everything I've got to give.

I hear your sweet voice calling
out my name
As I stare from a six foot cell
And from beyond I heard the words
Deceptively Yours

The term "lucky Stiff" comes to mind, but that might be inappropriate here...

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

No, I think in that particular situation that term pretty much paints the right picture.

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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus

"But I hate seeing Nurses who will not touch a patient, ANY patient, unless they are wearing gloves. This defies science and common sense. Our patients NEED the healing of human touch. Not latex."

I can't agree more with you on this. Perhaps I should restate myself a bit.

I'm not afraid of touching patients without gloves. To be honest, the only time I DID use gloves when interacting with patients is if I was going to come into contact with bodily fluids. For general evaluations and even during bed baths, I didn't use gloves unless I was going to have to wash the naughty bits, so to speak. I also very strongly feelthat we should touch patients to comfort them. Therapeutic touch is a VERY powerful thing, and in my brief clinical experiences, I used it often. I think that you can show a patient that you aren't afraid of touching them, they feel much more comfortable. It makes them feel normal, as if someone seems them as something other than simply unclean.

My thing is, all I ever see on dcotor dama's and such is this constant love affair of anyone and everyone IN THE HOSPITAL. I don't know why it gets on my nerves the way it does, it honestly shouldn't. It just sets off this weird little tick.

You know the kind of stereotypes nurses encounter, Wanda. Or maybe it's not the same in your area, but where I'm studying and practicing, it's very prevalent, coming from both patients, and even more strongly, from doctors. So I'm dealing with that. I'm also dealing with the male-nurse stigmatism. I won't even begin to get into that.

I realize these messages make it sound as if I'm totally obsessing over these issues and going thermal-neuclear. I'm not, trust me. These little things don't run my life and make me rant off at anyone and everyone. I'm not trying to launch some kind of cruisade. And these things don't even really make me mad. They just annoy me. And I like to complain.

By the way, Wanda, I know it seems totally prying and everything, but I must say, I'm quite curious to hear about this little bout of oral healing. Was it an attraction thing? Or were you doing a nursing action?

Hmmm....I wonder how many such instances would have to occure before they give us a new nursing diagnosis to follow for that particular intervention...Ineffective Sexual Pattern just doesn't seem to do it justice

__________________
Most things worth saying, shouldn't be.

"Batman was a SCIENTIST?!" -Homer Simpson

*sigh*
This incident made me (in)famous.

I was on my own time. While in Med Surg. clinicals I developed a friendship with a boy my own age who had come in for a broken leg (a Tib/fib ORIF for all the other Nurses and Medical people here) that required surgery. He was cute, and one thing led to another. We had been visiting for several days before the *ahem* incident took place. Again, I was ON MY OWN TIME, NOT IN UNIFORM (topless at the time, actually). We were both of legal age and inclination, as they say. We also went out several times after he was released from care.
My social reputation had been a little spotty due to my habits of dating (and fucking) several different people at the same time. I had not yet begun to explore 3sums and group sex, I just had a different date almost every night. It is NOT true I fucked all the male med students. Just a lot of them. Maybe 20%. None of the married ones, none of the female students at that time, as I had not yet begun to explore that part of my sexual nature. But my dating habits got me talked about, mostly behind my back.


I was relieved when the Lady Godiva costume changed my nickname from "The Naughty Nurse" to "Wicked Wanda"

WW

__________________
"I wondered, am I a lesbian, am I straight, or bisexual? Then I realized that I am just a slut.
So where's MY parade?"

---Margaret Cho