.. wondered just how your mood is affected by life, the universe and everything?

Take me as an example - I'm in a steady job (not an insignificant thing in these times of financial fuckwittery) which for the most part, I enjoy. I have a lovely, concerned and, dare I say loving, daughter, who means more to me than life (literally). I'm in a relationship of nearly 10 years standing, which although it has it's ups and downs is predominantly fulfilling and sustaining, and yet …..










……. sometimes, like right now, it's SO FUCKING HARD not to just go up and put two 40p cartridge in my Beretta 686 and pull the triggers.

To paraphrase ….. "the drugs don't work ……"

DM

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The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind

Yep moods can suck, but never ever would I contemplate checking out, its selfish and leaves behind a wake of anguish and pain

I watched my Mum suffer and struggle every day to hold onto her life, it annoys me when people who have life just throw the damn thing away! What a waste, yeah I mean sometimes life fucken sux, but you just don't know when the turning point may come, check out, and you will never know.

Sorry (well no I'm not really) but suicide is something I get riled up about. They are selfish people, and I tend to avoid those as they bring you heartbreak.

You and others in the same spot, need to just hang on to the good things, think of those you leave behind if you went ahead with 'pulling the trigger'. Imagine the world of pain you will be opening up for them, your loved ones, with you gone could end up feeling the same and also pull the trigger. If you were here and they checked out first, how would you feel?? Then stop and realise that how you feel is what you will be putting them through.....

If the drugs don't work, go get different drugs!

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Hanging on Fang, believe me. I'm (mostly) of the same mind as regards selfishness etc, but doing the job I do I see the other side of this a lot. AKA, where my head is right now, and where it's been on more than one occasion before. Thing is, at the moment I can verbalise how I feel, which in a bizarre way helps me cope.

If I couldn't do that, or be able to vent in a totally anonymous way here (well, not totally, given you a one or two others here know [of] the "real" me) then I'm not entirely sure I could manage through these dark spells. Part of my job is risk assessment of people who feel exactly as I do right now - at the moment, I would find mine quite acceptable, whereas in the past at times like this I wouldn't have. Does that make sense? Maybe not - my descriptive abilities suck at the moment too….

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The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind

Killing oneself may appear to be an act of selfishness to many, but the act is when a person, who is very ill, can no longer cope with living, cannot face another day or moment and feels there is no hope for them......I understand why someone would resort to suicide and I cannot imagine how low one must be to be so irrational to commit such a horrible thing to themselves and their families. They are not able to see any other recourse and that is so damn sad. Most relatives get angry at their loved one who does this and it is part of the five stages of grief, but what most don't do is consider how absolutely rotten life has become for their family member.....

Your doing the right thing by venting about this dm....it's those that aren't talking and just falling deeper in their illness you have watch.....but wtf do I know lol.

Time to adjust your meds my friend and do some talking to someone!!! Good luck!

Uncharacteristically, I'll leave out MASH and Life of Brian.

The devastation you'd put your loved ones through far outweighs the relief of taking a shortcut to the (perhaps) next life.

For the faithful, there may be something very important still ahead for you to do.

For the unfaithful, there's fun to be missed.

For the Pixies, we'd be wasting time grieving when we should be perving.


Real life has it's place, it's just not here. If you feel too real, come talk to us again, we still have 3 1/2 sheep jokes we haven't used.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

When James- that was SkipThisOne's name, killed himself it fucked me up. He left behind children who loved him and have had to live a life knowing their parent was in so much pain they chose to die instead of staying with them. I think that is sort of hard to forgive because there is no closure.

In high school I took pills, lots of them. I was in physical and emotional pain and I just wanted it to stop. I'm not sure I wanted to die but I damn sure did not care if I did. I don't tell many people. I'm ashamed.

But I do know how it feels to just want to check out. If the meds are not working, get better fucking meds.

You take care of people who depend on you and you see things that make it so hard to have faith. But you must, and deep down you have that faith that tomorrow might be better. I know you do because you decided to talk and not act. Keep talking. We'll keep listening.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

I know for some people they don't like the side effects of medication, or regardless of the medication it just doesn't do enough. Have you thought about seeking a psychologist? While I haven't had any luck with them you might fare better.

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"BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Will he offer me his mouth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his teeth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his jaws? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Again, will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes! GIRL: Yes. BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Yes. BOY: I bet you say that to all the boys!" -Meatloaf

The problem is that with psychoactive drugs of any sort, it's always a crap shoot. "How much" of "which drug" works for one person is always in question, and usually takes a lot of individual guesswork on the part of the prescriber, and individual experimentation on the part of the patient.

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

It’s interesting to compare how different the current social attitude towards suicide is with how it was viewed in Antiquity, when suicide was viewed as not necessarily shameful.

Yet another example how malleable human culture is.

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Eudaimonia

To me it is selfish, don't care how others want to look at it!

And I know how the drugs thing is, I suffer depression myself. As I said If the drugs don't work, go get different drugs! In other words don't give up, keep going back until the DO get it right for you!

Leaving people behind who love you open to their own world of pain has no excuse!

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No doubt about that.

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Eudaimonia

It's all in the circumstances, jseal. The Dutch young people with grenades in their pockets who walked into bars filled with German troops are OK, Islamic suicide bombers are not. The churches have never agreed with it, but have praised those who give their lives to save others.

Greater love hath no man, but that he give up his life for another.

Crystal clear.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

I couldn’t agree with you more, Oldfart. http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/suicide/



History is usually written by the winners.



Yessir! You can buy one of the books here: http://www.amazon.com/Noble-Death-M...y/dp/0060620951



Too true! Suicide has evoked a wide range of reactions throughout history, which is why it’s interesting to compare how different the current social attitude towards suicide is with how it was viewed in Antiquity.

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Eudaimonia

DM, Didn't you beat cancer? Life was worth fighting for then and still is now! For some reason we may never know you are still here, a survivor. There may be something great in store for you or maybe its just so you can be 'Dad' to that great daughter of yours who absolutely loves you.

If you only have here to talk, vent, scream, whatever.... keep doing it. If you ever want to PM, please do not hesitate. ((((DM)))) Remember you are loved!!

Beat it, and still beating it Teddy. Still here (obviously!) still keeping on keeping on.

Love this place, and all the wonderful people in it. Even PF!!

Thanks babe.

DM

__________________
The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind