I know..not another one..but. Those of you that have been unfortunate to get divorced, is it typical for the other person to constately mess with your minds?? My ex-wife has been a real pain in the ass. One day we get along great, the next day she asking if she can get back with me..and then i get a letter saying that she has given up on men altogether since all we do is use women. I have never said i would take her back, when she asked me i said you just got your freedom from me..why would you want to get back together..She found out that i have been seeing another lady, but like i told her i waited until we were divorced before i was seeing others. Now she puts this major guilt trip on me, saying she isnt sure how she will make ends meet...blahblahblah..I am just curious as to whether or not this is typical or if i cant even get divorced and have peace???

People who don't get along well married often don't get along well divorced.

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If you're divorced, tell her she isn't your responsibility anymore, as was wanted. It's not uncommon at all for people divorcing or freshly divorced to get nasty with the other. I would suppose it's not uncommon to feel territorial over the other at times, as well. My guess is that if anything, she's feeling jealous because even divorced, part of her still tihnks of you as hers.

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It seems to be the ole..."I don't want him, but I don't want anyone else having him either"...syndrome to me! From what I know of your situation...SHE is the one who called it quits...right? Sounds to me like she might be remembering all the good things now, instead of what prompted her to initiate this divorce in the first place. I don't know her...but I know I will never forget all the good things that happened in any of my relationships!

I don't know how to direct you about this because anything I say could be right or wrong...and that's too heavy to think about for another person's future. I'm afraid you'll have to feel this out on your own and follow your heart and her lead! If it seems to be going all wrong...do what's necessary to protect yourself! If it gets better than you'd ever imagined...again, do what's necessary for your own good!

Good luck hun! *hugs*

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

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Time heals all wounds.. in both directions... there will come a time when she will move on.. hopefully taking responsibility for her actions...

You don't need her permission to move on... nor should her opinion matter.. she was the one who made the choices that resulted in the divorce..

Hugs

Lilith:
Gilly:
Lixychick:
Jennaflower:

Thanks for responding..i suppose that you are right..she realizes now that it is for real..we did get along farily well..until she decided to h ave an affair that resulted in a child..that i was taking on as my own..soon as she filed, she told me that she didnt want me to have anything to do with him anymore and had my rights removed..which hurt really bad..now she tells me..that unless im around he won't have a daddy..I wrote her a note tellling her that she was the one that chose this..since i have found some new friends..and i think she doesnt like the fact that i havent begged her back...like i did the other 6 or 7 times she left and said she wanted divorced..Oh well..thanks you guys for helping..

-hugs- That sucks I hope things get better soon. The little boy, regardless of who is or isn't a parent, shouldn't have to see it.

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Love's Bitch, the writings of my mind

mmmmmmmmmm I am sorry this is happenning to you mate.

My ex often hangs the guilt trip on me and then a little later is as sweet as pie. It comes with the territory of being divorced and having kids between you.

I have learnt not to respond with anything but calmness and i don't let it bother me. I think of my Curvy and get the smile back on my face.

It seems to me that your ex has made a lot of choices she's now

not happy with.

These are not your concern, as this woman, with the full force of the law

has placed you beyond arms reach.

Do NOT let this person drag you down, you have a chance for a better

life and you owe it to yourself to try.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Gilly: thank you for the hugs..i really appreciate them..and you are right the little guy is the only one innocent here, and i do love him so i will not try and confuse him by me being there too..


Grumble: I will heed your advice..it seems like when i dont respond it really drives her nuts, which isnt my plan..but if i dont respond then she wont know whether or not she has gotten to me..thank you


Old Fart: You are right..she made these choices not me..it just pissses me off when she acts like she is the victim. She has drug me down real bad..but i am trying to get a new life started..and i know that she is not liking it at all..but at least i didnt find someone else, until after we were divorced..she was the one that chose not to be faithful..I need to remember that..I just hope that i do find someone that will accept me with all my faults and not expect me to be something that i am not... Thanks for the input..i really do like everyones opinions