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Lead me not to temptation
"For I can find the way all by myself!"
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the
Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli,
cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and
Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan
said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said,
"Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it,
add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And
Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might
keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan
brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar
from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from
size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan
presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons
and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman
unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And
Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried
steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained
more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it
"Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then
created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His
children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave
cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have
to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman
laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and
gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in
fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off
the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into
chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume
fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And
Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double
cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?"
And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan
said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.
Thought for the day
There is more money being spent on breast implants and
Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means
that by
2040, there should be a large elderly population with
perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no
recollection of what to do with them.
__________________
Lisa Rodgers
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