Seriously now ladies... I don't understand any of you... I mean... I grew up with the notion in my head that ladies liked sensitive and caring guys... you know... the classic romantic... but damned if I know anymore... I mean.. I write poems... I am caring.. Nice.. Kind... non-confrontational... I would do almost anything for the person I am with... I am not very self-centered... I generally would do something to defend almost any lady's honor (whether what was said be true or not).... I would never cheat on anyone... I admit I do get quite emotionally attached (I would say along the lines of a new puppy... but the same with dogs... I do get better and I'm easily trained... I think... heh)... I am a very shy and quiet guy in general.... but if there is someone I can talk to and actually BE myself around then I tend to be talkative at times (not that I can out do some women I know)... I am quite bright... and I have been told I am"cute" and stuff... (Please note that I do not really "believe" half the things I am saying because of my SEVERE slf-doubt and pessimism... but I have been told it be quite a few people so its worth a mention...) when it comes to me getting involved in a relationship... it tends to not happen or end badly.. when it doesn't happen the common phrase comes up; "Oh well you're just a friend..." and its quite frustrating... I tend to study people and listen into what they are saying (because no one notices me even for being large in build).. and it seems that ladies always seem to choose one of 3 types

1) Handsome
2) Complete JERKS (often handsome but not always)
3) The Bad Boy (usually a combination of the above to but throw in illegal activities)

I don't get it.... what the hell do you want? I many I have catalouged in my mind... atleast 7 or 8 (now 9 I guess) types of women... from just talking to them as a friend (which is mainly online since in person I'd often have the fear of saying something stupid or some such thing... though I do talk to some girls in real life..)... but I don't have a clue anymore.... they all seem to be slightly different... but mostly the same... During certain times... they want someone similar to how I am (but with better looks... I have been called "cute" but I think my looks are more on the Troll side... if I EVER get my camera to work I'll take a pic I guess)... but during the other 28 days... they want the bad boy rough type who will beat the hell out of them.... I mean damn it... that is so stupid... I have a friend who says he'd "beat" his wife if he had one (he is all talk though so we all know he'd never do it.. but still I am opposed to the idea of women as just an object of any sort)... and this guy ALWAYS has some girl crushing over him even if he doesn't give a damn at that moment... I mean hell.. he calls it a game... I call it lying.... because you're being something you not.... But I guess I don't know WHAT women want... can anyone enlighten me? Because I am getting fed up being the "Knight (or troll) in shining armor" (remembers Shrek hehe)... and my "love life" (or lack there of) tends to run in circles...

Care about some, get screwed over
Care about some, get screwed over
Care and date some one, get promised to get screwed but insted get screwed over
Care about some, get screwed over
Care about some, get screwed over
Care about some, get screwed over
And ect.

So to reitterate... What on earth do ladies want anymore?

I want someone caring, considerate, and here is the big one, CONFIDENT! I don't want you to care about me to the point of not caring about you. I want you to be considerate but not take my shit! I want you to be confident that who you are is good enough and if there is something you think is not so good I want you to be confident enough to evolve! 'Bout covers it........oh and the typical worshipping me business

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

I cover all but confidence.... I do evolve... but... Confidence is what I lack at first.. I get better as things go along.. but I can't help it I been burned before... badly...

I have the feeling my divorce is happening for the same reason. It is an essential thing to be an individual person, not a piece of chewing gum that adapts everything.
Ask yourself what YOU want and BE yourself. Defend what you are, have your own opinion. Shit on having peace with everyone. That is an illusion!!!
Be yourself, and you will see that you needn´t search for women, they will come to you!
I know that is a hard step to do, I have been all my life that kind of non-person. But this is what you need.
Think about it. 10 times, 100 times, 1000 times, a million. Until you change your life. I wish you more luck than I´m having now.

Stefan

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If every material thing is gone, my smile and my tears stay left.

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Well from this womans point of view...I can tell you that if I am with someone I need to know that they are with me because they want to be with me and no one else and because they enjoy who I am as a person. I need someone who respects me, cares for me and only me ( not any other women ) Someone who will listen to me when I'm happy and keep listening when I am feeling down in the dumps. A woman likes to know you are listening to her and taking an interest in what is happening in her life even if you aren't particulary interested in what she is saying if only just to let her know you care. A women doesn't like to be made to feel insecure in a relationship take the time to let her know she is important in your life. It doesn't always have to be a constant "I love you" because words are just words but a little something to show her you do care. Don't let someone take you for granted or vise versa. Don't lose who you are just to be with someone you shouldn't be with either. The old saying treat someone how you would want to be treated is a very simple saying but so very true. Basically, just be yourself and if that isn't good enough for someone else then so be it. Be who you are and eventually someone will find you and love you just the way you are. Hang in there!!!!!!!

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Missy

I know you probably don't want to hear this, but your young, whats the rush? Finish school, get a good job, travel, do fun things just because you want to & you can.

Please do not try to change yourself to be what you think women want. Be yourself at all times. I truely believe that there is someone perfectly matched for each of us somewhere out there. So somewhere theres a beautiful, smart, sexy, loving girl looking for you and wondering the same things you are. Someday you'll find each other and then lookout......... whoa the sparks will fly!!

Remain true to yourself.

Teddy

I have much the same problem as you, Doomsday, though things seem on the improve as far as my attitude is concerned. I'm not sure how old you are, but I think the tendency to go for the types of guys you mentioned comes from emotional immaturity, which would lead me to believe that the problem is less and less prevalent with older women (though obviously you need to be close enough in age to relate).
One thing you may want to try is when you approach/woo a girl is to start with a mindset that places less emotional weight on romantic success with her - "Hey, wouldn't it be nice if 'x' wanted to get together some time" might work better than "I must have 'x', my life is not complete without 'x'". It allows you to be somewhat "freer" and more confident around the girl of your affections when you aren't afraid of having your heart cleft in two if you "fail".
On the subject of "failing", when you do "fail", one philosophy that may help would involve attributing the blame for you two not becoming an item to her rather than yourself, ie: "Why would I want to be with a girl too foolish to see my worth?" This may not be the best philosophy to use if you intend to be "just friends" with her, but it may help.
Hope something in there made some sort of sense.

OK, here's my "buck up" speach ..... MOST romantic relationships don't end in happily ever after ... most end in a split .... if you look at that as being a bad thing, then you'll believe that you have failed at relationships ..... it isn't true! .... Most relationships aren't really meant to last forever ..... if you're lucky ... out of all the ones you try, you'll find one that will last that extended period of time ..... however, you probably won't find it at 18. It's about looking around, trying things out, testing the water and swimming for awhile (when you get the chance) and then trying a different pool ..... don't lock yourself into something when there are soooooo many big decisions in life still ahead of you .... you need to find out about you and what you like and what's most important to you .... and though you may think you've figured it all out, so did we all at 18 and I'd guess almost everyone of us will admit that there was still a whole lot more to figure out about ourselves and what we want, etc. ..... usually settles down for females about 25+ years old and for men, 27+ years old .... (that's a big generalization..... but sometimes statistics can be useful).

Anyway, I agree with so much of what others have said here ... be you!!!!!! figure out who YOU are and what you want and need ... don't let someone else determine that for you or you'll end up at 40+ feeling like the world has passed you by!!! Be confident .... hard to do sometimes, but the best way to start ... find something you do well or that you like about yourself and know that it's ok to be pleased with that!!!!

And just so you know, most girls at 18 are still a long way from figuring out what they want long-term, they are just playing .... my personal opinion about why they go for bad boys .... bad boys make themselves a bit out of reach .... and most of those girls don't intend to keep them once they do manage to reach them, just play for awhile .... in other words, hopefully they know they aren't really ready to settle down yet, so they are playing at having relationships. Just my rather jumbled opinion .... hope something I said is of value in your quest.

That's the thing... I am FOR THE MOST PART... how I want to be.... I don't know.. I am the type of person who can't stand to be alone... I can handle it but its that thought of being alone that bugs the hell out of me.... I know... I'm follish... and I know its not meant to last... but it be nice that it atleast last awhile... and not always ending to end so badly... *sigh*... Oh well...

Doomsday....There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to be alone. I myself didn't mind a few years ago about being alone but now at this point in my life being alone is not what I want at all. People are not meant to be alone, why some may claim to be happier that way to me that is a very sad way to live. Everyone needs someone sometime and there is so much more to enjoy in life when you have a special someone to share it all with. One of the greatest feelings in the world is to know that there is someone who truely cares about you for who you are as a person and when you are lucky enough to obtain that cherish it and make the most of it for yourself and your partner. True love is truely a wonderful thing if you let it into your life. Good luck!!!!!

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Missy