MARTHA STEWART’S EVIL TAKEOVER

It was a typical Saturday evening at the Kitty-Kat Gentlemen’s Club in Nashville. There were a dozen men seated stage-side and another dozen scattered about at the tables in the back. Dancers were making there rounds and rotating onto the main stage without a hitch. Suddenly, the electricity went out and alarms began wailing. Some men stood and looked around in the dark and others guarded there beers. A strong voice boomed out from a bullhorn. “Sit down boys. Everyone listen up. This is Martha Stewart and I’m taking over your little club for the evening.”
One regular in the front belched and yelled, “Who the hell do you think you are?”
The lights came back on in the club and Martha walked out onto the main stage. She wore a dark brown suede jacket and pants. The outfit was perfectly fitted to her body. Martha peered at the drunkard who had just spouted off. Eight beefy guys walked out onto the stage from behind her. They were all muscle.
“These are the Chippendale dancers from Vegas. They are my body guards now. I mean business my dear sir. Do not speak out against me again or you will get a dose of my new product,” warned Martha firmly.
The disgruntled man shouted, “This is total bullshit. Now get the hell outta…”
Before he could finish his sentence, Martha raised what looked to be a ray gun and shot a red beam of light at the discontent man. The man stood frozen. He could only move his eyes. Martha had a little smile on her face and strutted towards the man. She said, “As you see this is my new Martha Stewart Quick Freeze Gun. This unfortunate lug will remain as he is until I decide to unfreeze him. Anyone else have a beef?” There was complete silence.
“Good,” Martha replied.
A few dancers were cowering at the edge of the stage and they were holding a handful of clothes over their chests. Martha looked them over and said, “Why are you hiding your breasts?” The girls immediately tossed their clothes to the floor and their perky breasts soaked up the spotlight. Martha purred and whispered to one of the girls, “That’s better.”
Martha signaled two of the petite dancers to come to her side. She held a girl on each side. The girls loved feeling her strength and the warmth of her suede jacket against their nude chests. Martha smiled and said softly, “That’s it girls.” Martha held the girls tighter and the girls snuggled in even closer. Martha smelled like Saks Fifth Avenue and money.
Martha looked around at the club owners, customers, dancers, and her buffed bodyguards and explained, “I came here to have a good time believe me. But things are going to be a little bit different tonight at the Kitty-Kat.” By now all the dancers in the back had come out to see what was going on. Martha looked at the girls in thongs, lace, and baby doll nighties. Martha said, “Girls I want you to switch places with the boys in the front row.” Just then five more bodyguards arrived on the stage from the back. Many of the guards had Freeze guns as well. The girls stepped off the edge of the stage and the men seated in the front row stood and backed away from their chairs. Once all the girls were seated, Martha said, “Very good.” Martha looked at the men and said, “Report to the dressing room.”
A few of the men were about to yell back at her but Martha and a few of her burly guards gripped their guns. The men quietly filed to the dressing room. The guards stood at the back of the club with freeze guns drawn. Martha sat in one of the front seats and put her boots up on the stage. She took out a role of twenties and flung them to the girls that were around her. “Tip money of course - for OUR entertainment.” Martha clapped her hands twice and the DJ put on some loud thumpin’ music. Martha signaled to the bar maids and they came over for her order. Martha ordered a vodka martini with a twist of lime and told everyone that drinks were on the house. The ladies could see a silhouette of a man at the scrim at the stage’s entrance. Mike was a regular who worked construction. He had was a good tipper and was well-liked by the girls. His face was bright red and he walked towards the girls. Martha looked at him and said, “Entertain us bitch or you’ll get a taste of this.” Martha opened her suede jacket and flashed a view of her embroidered silver butterfly knife. The girls up front were laughing and drinking. They started cheering for Mike to “Take it off – Take it off.” One of the bar maids who was wearing a black g-string started chanting, “We want cock – We want cock.” Martha smiled and nodded to the bar maid and said “That’s the idea.” Martha led the cheer of “We want cock!” The regulars looked at one another and swallowed hard as they knew they were next.
Then…

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