OK! Enough spin doctoring and fake feel good e-mails? Are you tired of all those sissy friendship poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here are a series of promises that really speaks friendship;



1. When you are sad - I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.



2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.



3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.



4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.



5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.



6. When you are confused - I will use little words.



7. When you are sick - stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.



8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.



This is my oath... I pledge it till the end. Why, you may ask? Because you are my friend.



Remember: A good friend will help you move... A really good friend will help you move a body!



Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.