Wow hun! What a dilemma!

The real question here is...What do you WANT to do?

Do you want to have an affair? Or, separate first and get together with this other woman?

As Bear said, you are risking both relationships with one wrong move and the trouble is, you won't know till it's done. Is the risk worth it?

I've gotta say that I think you need professional advice and your marriage might need professional help as well. A talk with your wife about what is happening in your head couldn't hurt. What I mean is...ask her if she's happy with the current circumstances and if there is anything she'd change if she could. If you can't bring yourself to do it...seach your soul as to why. Is it because you don't want to make the marriage good again? Is it because if you did make the marriage good again you'd lose this feeling with the other woman?

In all honesty hun, this isn't something [we] can help you with. You are the only one with the answer. I understand why you asked...but I also think you already know what you want and just needed validation. I could never pretend to know what is right and what is wrong for YOU! Only YOU can possibly know that!

Best of luck! TY for trusting us with your feelings, but I'm afraid I can't be of any help at all!

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~