You Just Might Be A Scrooge...

If your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon -- you just might be a Scrooge.

If you turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away -- you just might be a Scrooge.

If you buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas -- you just might be a Scrooge.

If your favorite version of "Babes in Toyland" stars Michael Jackson -- you just might be a Scrooge.

If you get your Christmas Tree at a rest stop at night -- you just might be a Scrooge.

If you give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts -- you just might be a Scrooge.

If your prized Christmas ornament is Santa Claus shooting the moon -- you just might be a Scrooge.

If your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic Park -- you just might be a Scrooge.

If your idea of Christmas dinner is a six pack of beer and a cheese log -- you just might be a Scrooge.

If you think "Ho, Ho, Ho" is a line from a Rocky movie -- you just might be a Scrooge.

If your best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat -- you just might be a Scrooge.

If your favorite version of "Silent Night" is sung by OJ Simpson -- you just might be a Scrooge.

If your favorite past time is putting defective bulbs in your neighbors' string of Christmas lights or defacing Christmas lawn charicatures with egg nog -- you just might be a Scrooge.

And, finally - if your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin -- you just might be a Scrooge.