
12-08-2004, 10:26 PM
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Suprise Me
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 4,259
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I had to read Lixy's post twice myself... and while I can ponder her comments I also have something to add that is based on my perspective only and now what happens in the Lixy household and by no means belittles her situation.
I am a "take charge" kinda woman. I also have a tendency to "take over" things and make them my responsibility. Maybe I didn't share my toys well when I was a child - I don't know... but when there is a list of things to do, that list is usually my list and I am the only one that understands the order and urgency of each item. When I responded to the question that was my perspective.
It was difficult for me at first to learn to communicate my need for his assistance as I was very independent and had to do everything before we were married - and I had to tell him if I need help as he isn't a mind reader. He knows that I get stressed when I have a list of what I feel is urgent material, and is more than willing to help me when I ask. But I have to ask - there was a time or two that he "thought" he was helping me and ended up not really helping, and that wasn't his fault because I didn't communicate to him what I really needed. There has been more than a time or two that he has run and hid because I "took over" and went from his "baby doll" to "bitch" in nothing flat! And there are things that I consider urgent that he doesn't just as there are things that he considers urgent that I don't.
So, I wonder - is the reason that some men would go diddle around in the shed thinking of 101 ways to use duct tape the result of instinctive survival skills coming to the surface when they see a list of "urgent" items? Is there a reason that I become a "domestic diva" when he is out working on a vehicle and I am not really interested in getting grease under my nails?
Points to ponder........
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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
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