Guy's a bit lonely... goes into a pet shop and buys a budgie in a fairly large cage.

Two weeks later... budgie is showing signs of stress and the guy decides it needs a companion - returns to pet shop.... buys another budgie and sticks it in the cage. next morning.... new budgie... on its back legs in the air - dead.

Guy complains to pet shop, owner sells him an owl. Goes home, sticks it in the cage - next morning... Owl on the floor... feet in the air - dead.

Guy complains to pet shop, owner sells him a Falcon. Goes home, sticks it in the cage - next morning... Falcon on the floor... feet in the air - dead.

"Can't you supply me with a feathered friend for my budgie that it can't kill?" asked the guy.

Pet shop owner sells the guy an aviary and the biggest Emu he had.... "Stick the little bastard in with him, that'll cure him," he said.

Next morning.... Emu on its back... legs in the air - dead.

Returning to the petshop the next day... the petshop owner sells the guy a Wedge-tailed Eagle, the deadliest of all Australian raptors. A beak so powerful it could crunch a kangaroos thigh bone, talons so sharp they'd pierce elephant hide....

"That'll fix the little shit!!" he said.

Next morning.... eagle on its back... feet in the air - dead.

Strangest thing though... is the budgie never had a feather left on its body... it was completely bald. He looked at his owner, cocked his head and said,

"Fuck.... I had to take my coat off for that one."

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"Old age and Treachery will overcome Youth and Enthusiasm...Everytime!"