I am trying very very hard to suppress my instinctive desire to ask you what you imagine being "gay" is....or if this new twist in your fantasy life has changed your outspoken views. It's not relevant, you ask a very important question. I'm going to focus on that. I am, however, gonna leave this preamble in, just to plant the ideas in your head. I think they're important too.

Anyway....I don't think there's anything at all unusual about your fantasies. They're actually surprisingly common among heterosexual men, in the same way that "straight" women are sometimes a little curious about other women. And for the record, I HATE all those damned compartmentalizing titles....but there you go. Different rant. The girl on girl curiosity is more accepted, so more easily admitted. Here, I think you guys have done yourselves a frustrating disservice.

Part of me thinks the answer is always always always communication, though. Since I don't know who you are (and for the record, I'm gonna be damned surprised if she doesn't recognize you, should she hang out here...writing style is like a scent, we know the ones we love even when they don't sign their names) I don't know how open and accepting she'd be. If you think she'd take the kids and file for divorce, well, maybe it's a fantasy you'd best enjoy on your own. And that can be done.

If you want to talk to her about it, though (and it sounds like you do)...I think you're going to have to bring it up somehow. If you watch porn together, or recommend stories to each other, you might bring home something that has some light guy on guy stuff (Wyndhy had a wonderful one a while back)...and let her SEE how it effects you, even if you can't manage to say "that's hot." Or, if she's at all bi-curious, you could come to the subject through her. Show her something that maybe turns HER on in a way she didn't expect, and then go for a "yeah, I know how you feel" approach.

As far as ACTING on the urge, though....I wouldn't. Not unless you've really really really talked with your wife. Cheating is cheating to us girls, and I'm guessing you haven't got an open relationship to start with. I'm guessing she might be more upset if you did it with a guy, than if she caught you with another woman (although I'm showing my anti-anti-gay prejudice here, she might just be pissed off generally, as I would).

G