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Belial,

I owe you a reply to this question, since you raised the point with me in PM and I've been rude in not replying to it sooner (though I have been formulating a few responses in my mind for some time now).

In response to your first paragraph: I imagine that the 'size counts' question is like may others in life. It varies from person to person. A lot of it depends on what a lady finds stimulating. Some women's pleasure is more clitoral and others more vaginal (personally I'm a clit girl, myself) but even with vaginal pleasure, I'd argue that one of the most sensitive spots in the vagina (the so called G-spot) is within easy reach of any penis, and it's the angle the penis is stimulating that's important in giving g-spot pleasure......it also has to do with staying power, and that of course is something that can be worked on over time. I'm not saying that there are no women out their who prefer larger dicks, I'm saying that for every woman who wants a 'monster' there are probably two women, who want a 'normal bloke'.

A good friend of mine who's had far more men than me (we're talking multiples of tens more than me, not 'a few' more) once said to me that men's members are like eggs - they all come in different sizes but unless you line one up next to the other, you really can't tell the difference. From a personal, point of view, I couldn't agree more, but then I've never been interested in size. Being a woman with hideously large breasts, I know all too well that big doesn't often equal beautiful, and from my experience, I'd say that large dicks don't equal great shags.

I'll admit that you've scared me a little bit with your second paragraph. I really don't like the idea that guys would rule me out before getting to know me because I happen to have breasts a certain size. I'd like to think that on the physical level, if I may not have breasts that are the size they like, then perhaps I have great legs, a delicious arse, a sexy smile or beautiful eyes, and that one of those things might be enough to warrant a guy's attention, rather than me being rejected instantly because I'm 'ample' not 'perky' in the breast department. I imagine, you're now thinking to yourself 'well I wouldn't rule you out just because you have one physical feature that isn't my ideal' and that would be true for you, I'm sure. The reason? Because you are a nice, non-shallow, respectful, kind hearted human being. You wouldn't decide whether to accept or reject me based on how much breast tissue I happen to have. So my question is this: don't you think that there are women out there like you - who don't judge and wouldn't reject you on the basis of just one of your physical features? And if so, why care about the opinions of other women, who are shallow, I doubt you'd even be interested in that type of woman to begin with, so the chances of you finding yourself in bed with one of these women is highly unlikely. My point is that by the time a woman has committed to sleeping with you, it's because they're attracted to you, it's because they care about you, it's because they want to progress the relationship, it sure as fuck isn't because they want to laugh at you. To be honest, your average woman is probably not selfless enough to be entirely concerned with how big your dick is on the first night together....she's busy worrying about her cellulite (like you give a shit about that - hell, you prolly don't even quite understand what it is!) the size of her boobs (but hell you're just pleased she's letting you see them!) whether you're going to think she's a slut if she's too forward or frigid if she's not forward enough, whether her blow job technique is good enough etc etc etc......at the end of the day, she's not going to laugh at you, and she's not going to reject you and she's not going to gossip about you to her friends if she's a decent human being and you're treating her properly. The only guy I've ever bitched about size wise is a guy who was a toad to me (and his girlfriend at the time) and who had such an arrogant attitude that it was a shock to find him a little bit smaller than I expected. He wasn't even the smallest guy I'd been with, but the smallest guy I've ever had, was also some of the best sex of my life (the man had a filthy mouth and wasn't afraid to use it!)

OK - erotic fiction: when you read stories on Pixies do you pay attention to the gender of the writer? I always do. I've noticed that men describe thigns in numbers much more than women do. Men write about how many inches the hero of the tale has, even the women's cup sizes (I'm hurt to find that 'perfect sized breasts' are often 36DD and that beautiful women weigh.....well.....a fuck of a lot less than I do!) whereas women will just say 'large' or 'perfect' or 'beautiful' or 'generous' without specifying. And no, women don't 'gasp at his mediocre sized manhood' because why on earth would they? Seeing an average size penis is what we're expecting, we'd only maybe gasp at a larger one, because it would be a shock (and even possibly a bit scary). But what you've got to remember that this is fiction.....just like porn is....well it's porn.....and real sex isn't like that. Real sex has bathroom breaks, contraception, tissues to wipe up, telephone calls interrupting you, fanny farts (sometimes!) creaking limbs, awkward positions that seem like a good idea at the time, and then prove impossible, laughter (in a good way!) and it also has some other stuff: love, trust, friendship and lust. I know it's possible to have sex without these things, but for a first timer, I'd highly recommend that all these ingredients are there (or at least, say 3 of them!)

As far as vaginal size goes, I'm sure there are differences, and I'm sure it matters to some guys, and I agree that there's not much said about it, but that's because in general, even the most 'worn-out' pussy is gong to feel something entering it (I think most women can feel a tampon going in and even the smallest men are bigger than a tampon!) As for TV dramas........the double standards continue in the media despite our best efforts to strive for equality.......I wonder if you're referring to a particular show, and in that case whether it was written by a man or a woman, or whether, if written by a woman, she herself has ever been disappointed with a guy's size, or whether she was writing something she thought people would be amused to see.

Your last paragraph worries me the most.....YOU have the ability to give a woman an orgasm, whether you have a penis a foot long, or no penis at all. In casual sex you may have no interest in your partner's pleasure, but then again, that's often the case in that situation, regardless of the guy's penis size. To re-iterate, no woman is going to be bitchy to you about your size when you're in bed with her, or afterwards for that matter.....by having sex with you, she's making herself vulnerable too. Women are highly sexual creatures, and we can be sexually aggressive, but that doesn't mean we're heartless self centred sex addicts who only value men for how 'useful' they are to us sexually, no more than men are.

Trust me, if sex were as emotionally complicated as all of this, no bugger would ever risk it! The reality is, it's an enjoyable contact between two people, not a war or a competition, and while I can really sympathise with you for being worried, there really is no need to.....unfortunately this is only something you'll discover once you've experienced it, and that is something that will happen in its own time, when you're with the right person, at the right time and in the right situation.

:hug:

Still think I really should just come over there and prove it to you, but Fussy doesn't seem keen on the idea! LOL