A friend sent me these and I thought they were cute ... hmmm ... and maybe true too.

1. I was thinking about how the status symbol of today are those cell phones that everyone has clipped on their belts. I can't afford one so I'm wearing my garage door opener.

2. You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

3. I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

4. I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.

5. I thought about making a movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping Rust"

6. I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease....that's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

7. You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"

8. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?

9. Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write . . . A Good Doctor! (Not a bad idea!)

10. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?

11. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . . they were cramming for their finals.