I don't know just what to say here but I will try a little bit of humor, it may not help but you can always me. In the end it's always easer to look back and say what if, but look at all you have now and think because that happened you have what you do now.

" if , ifs and buts were candy and nuts it would be Christmas all year long"

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"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck