I have to agree with everything that Sharni said... and as for your noone can help my self-esteem comment... that's not true. You can help it yourself, or you can seek out a good therapist. But you have to be willing to listen to them, because they won't put up with the rationalizing bs.

__________________
I see your fantasy... you want to make it a reality

Are you in the mood to be subdued

You see these shackles
Baby I’m your slave
I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave

Tie me to the bedpost

I like it rough
cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all