I was going to avoid posting in this thread, but I have to toss my 2 cents into the fountain. People here have tried to post their honest responses and thoughts on your question, but you have only sought to de-bunk them with whatever responses you may, but the main gist of what you respond with is that everyone else is wrong, and the world is out to get you. I only point this out because I've done the same thing. The lack of self-esteem came from an abusive relationship that I got out of. Your lack seems to come from the ex that you speak of. You need to free yourself from her and move on. The only thing that you can do is truly learn to be happy with yourself. I know that you say that you are, but it doesn't sound like it to me, from someone who's been there. I don't mean to preach, and I'm not perfect either, but you have to like yourself. And you need to truly believe that being alone is ok. Once you learn to celebrate yourself and your fabulousness as a singlet, things won't look so grim. I hope that I've helped a little...

__________________
I see your fantasy... you want to make it a reality

Are you in the mood to be subdued

You see these shackles
Baby I’m your slave
I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave

Tie me to the bedpost

I like it rough
cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all