I grew up with an alcoholic father .... he was what is called a "functional" alcoholic ... in other words, he held down a regular job without his drinking creating so much of a problem that he got booted. Nevertheless, he was an alcoholoic (I say was because he died a few years ago) Addiction is NOT something you recover from fully ... that's why the say someone is recovering when they are working THE program, the younger a person is when they began using substances abusively, the worse their particular version is likely to be.

I understand your pain, though my father didn't do many of the things you are naming, still his addiction affected every part of our lives while I and my siblings were growing up. To this day I have a difficult time being around anyone who has been drinking, all my senses go on full alert and I feel like I'm in an open pit no knowing where the next attack may come from .....

There are a couple of things you should recognize ... addicts are masters at throwing the blame off of themselves .... you feel guilty because he went off and acted out a few hours after you spoke with him, maybe it was your fault you say ..... NO!!!! stop right there, the minute he can get you to feel like it might have been your fault, he stops worrying about what he did cause as far as he's concerned you just accepted the responsibility.

You can't change how your parents react, though you can continue to remind them that the path they are following isn't working .... and continuing down the same path is unlikely to get different results in the future, just more of the same. Help them to understand that it is no longer their fault that he is the way he is .... he's an adult and is capable of making his own choices and that is not their fault. Even if they are enabling him (which they are) he is an adult and is capable of making his own decisions. Until everyone in the pictures recognizes that he is responsible for his own actions and choices ... he will not change. Being responsible means that he must accept the consequences of his actions. Stealing from someone (even if it is your parents) is still against the law.

Feel free to PM me if you need to talk .... I've spent a lot of years dealing with these issues in my life and helping others deal with them in their lives ... not as a professional, but as a friend. There are many here at pixies who will be willing to offer support and strength if need be in your times of trial and difficulty. Fzzy