Oh yes... the wife in this situation is a control freak because your man has probably cheated on her in the past, which he will probably do to you in the future. It's very possible if he does ever leave her, he'll still sleep with her if he gets the chance. But I would bet that he will not leave his wife until he feels he HAS to, otherwise he'd already be out and away from her.

As someone who has been the husband in this situation, (not identical, but close), I would try and forget him. You'll end up hurting worse in the long run if you try to make it work.

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Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
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In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these