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Old 04-26-2004, 04:35 PM
englishrose englishrose is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 345
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind
him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just
give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and
what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell
of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the
drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for
the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good
measure. Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He
deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:


1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
get better!
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