Yeah, yeah, this question has probably been flogged to death, but a quick search didn't yield me any answers so I thought I'd ask.
I have an inexperienced partner, and while she loves sex (wants it more often than me even sometimes), she has difficulty telling what's an orgasm and what isn't, if indeed she has experienced one. Having never been female myself, I would of course have no way of beginning to describe it. I originally told her that if she didn't know, she probably hadn't had one. However, she can't go without a pillow to smother herself in lest she wake the neighborhood, and she usually at least once or twice during sex will ask me to stop for a few minutes. She claims that it feels "too good" and she "can't take it," which of course puzzles both of us.
I'm very agreeable so it doesn't bother me to wait once in a while, but I know that when us guys have orgasms we're mostly incapable of anything for a minute or two, and if it's the same way for women then this would be a sign. Similarly, sometimes (but not always) she's completely exhausted after sex, just like I feel after an orgasm. I'm thinking that if she only does a fraction of the "work" and still gets off like that, there's gotta be some orgasmic muscle spasming involved.
And then there's the whole multiple orgasms thing. So needless to say I am stumped. I realize there's probably no easy answer to this, but I'd still like to hear some thoughts from more experienced people. =) Thanks!