A farmer was called to serve on jury duty. During the questioning of
prospective jurors the prosecuting attorney asked the farmer if he could
convict someone on circumstantial evidence. The farmer responded, "No way
in hell could I do that!!" The attorney asked why he was so adamant in his
answer. He replied that he once had a very bad experience with
circumstantial evidence. The attorney asked him to explain.
"Well sir," the farmer began, "I was out in the barn milking ole' Bessie
one hot day and as I was milking her she kicked over the milk pail with her
right front foot. The milk soaked my overalls and underwear, so I took them
off, rinsed them out in the water trough and hung them out to dry. Then, I
got a piece of rope and tied her right foot to the floor. I sat back down
and starting milking again and the silly cow kicked over the pail with her
left front foot. So I tied that one down to the floor, as well. She then
proceeded to kick over the pail with each of her back feet so I tied both
of them to the floor...
"Well, I thought I had things under control until she whipped her tail
around and slapped me right in the face. Very annoyed at her antics, I
moved my stool behind her, stood up on it, and as I was in the process of
tying her tail to one of the rafters, wearing nothing but my T-Shirt and
boots, my wife walked into the barn!! .....No Sir!! I do not believe in
Circumstantial Evidence."