He'll kill me for telling this but............

Several years back...at a very rocky point in our relationship.......my hubby (then, just living together for 12 years) sought advice from a girl[friend] of his as to what to do to romance me! He sucks at it....and he's the first to admit it....but his unrehearsed charms are so much more romantic than even he knows! Well, anyway........he was on the phone one night and then he was off the phone and in the bathroom and I could hear the tub filling. Soon, he was in the candle drawer (rummaging) and then back to the bathroom. Then, I heard him in the vanity drawers and in the linen closet......and then he was behind me......taking my hand and leading me to the bath he had prepared. I was in a mood and sort of protesting....but he insisted, so I followed. He had lit candles around the tub....filled it with warm, steamy water and bubbles...found a tub pillow I still had in a package (because I really never get to take a long soak)......and he undressed me and guided me into the tub. It was wonderful and so out of character for him...which made it that much nicer. He told me to relax....just take my time...and he'd be back to dry me when I was through. Then he left.....and I sighed and relaxed, nearly into a coma. I kept hearing a voice from the living room and (curiousity abounding) finally stepped from the tub on my own.....grabbed a towel and went to see who hubby was talking to. I thought someone had come over.....but it turns out he was on the phone...to his girl[friend]......telling her all about what he had just done in taking her advice. Now.....she was a sore spot in our relationship in the first place....and here she was telling him how to woo me and he playing Cirrano <sp> and doing all she said....with more excitement then I've ever seen from him. Some would say that he was trying his best to "save" our relationship by seeking advice.......but I knew (and he eventually told me the truth).....he was actually trying to woo HER into believing he was a romantic at heart, but just needed the right girl for guidance!

My point is.....(yes....I actually have a point here!)....his idea of what should be romantic has never been what makes him truly romantic to me! We've come such a long, long way in our relationship since that particular evening............and I have silly little secret coded love notes and trinkets and even a flower or two pressed between some pages of keepsake diary. But, in every single day since that day (above), he hugs me and kisses me and says he loves me and if I get home later than usual, he'll have dinner started or made and the dishes done and the cat fed and the laundry started and a story of his day that makes me smile and I'll ask, "Did you miss me all day"? and he'll say, "With all six bullets"! and hug me and laugh, and I'll know I've been romanced! So, I guess romance is in the eye of the beholder! Never practiced...always given with no expectation....and it could be something so insignificant that only the beholder will know it's been done! Important? I suppose you could say that when it's been felt....yes, it's important! Yes, I tend to notice what some would let fly over their head and take to heart the significance of the seeming insignificant!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~