One night this guy and his girlfriend were about to go into his apartment and before he could open his door his girlfriend said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door." The guy says, "Well, give me some examples." The girlfriend proceeds to tell him, "Well the first way is, if a guy shoves his key in the lock, and opens the door hard, then that means he is a rough lover and that isn't for me. "The second way is if a man fumbles around and can't seem to find the hole than that means he is inexperienced and that isn't for me either." Then she said, "Honey, how do you unlock your door?" He then proceeded to say, "Well, first before I do anything else, I lick the lock."

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There's someone in my head, but it's not not me - Pink Floyd