XxdarkfemmexX,

Are you nuts? Not at all. Indeed, your normalcy is articulated when you express self-doubt about (your) behavior that you recognize can be looked at as "over the top". People commonly experience stress ("Am I nuts?") when behaving in ways they think vary substantially from the norm.

Remember that the activity is consensual - and you’ll recognize the (probably implicit) limits you and your "aggressor" accept.

__________________
Eudaimonia