I lived for 3 years with a man I loved and who turned me on tremendously just from looking at him. I could just lie in bed with him when he was sleeping and watch him for hours. Unfortunately, he was an alcoholic, and it'd killed his desire for sex. I used to have to more or less beg him for sex. For example, he'd come home when the bars closed about 2:30 am and be famished. He'd say that he'd have sex with me in the morning when he got up if I'd get up then and make him a big snack or meal. But he'd usually renege and not make love in the morning in spite of me following through on my end. It really does a number on your self-esteem after awhile when you have to keep asking for sex. I finally, finally, finally said, enough's enough and got out of the relationship.

And when my ex-husband and I were still together but the relationship was really deteriorating, I had to keep asking, too. We had for a long, long time made a point of saving Friday afternoons to make love, when our work schedules allowed us the time and our kids were at school. But gradually he kept scheduling meetings, etc. at that time, so it got to the point that he was never home on Friday afternoons any more. I finally asked him one Wednesday what happened to Fridays. He said, "Well, I'll see if I can work you in." I vowed that if we did end up making love that Friday, it would be the very last time that we ever would. And it was.

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Communication is the key.