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TOP 10 THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.
I know where my watch is, buddy ... where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is, dipshit? I didn't think so.

2. The Pillsbury Doughboy is way too happy, considering that
he doesn't have a dick.

3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire
room for the damn TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change it manually.

4. When people say, "Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too." Back off, spanky. What good is a damn piece of cake if you can't eat it? What should I do ... eat someone else's piece of cake instead? Selfish prick.

5. When people say, "It's always the last place you look." No shit, Sherlock. Why the hell would you keep looking for it after you've already found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Why aren't they in treatment?

6. When people say, while watching a movie, "Did you see that?"
No, dicknose, I paid $7.50 to come to a theater and stare at the
ceiling up there. What did you come here for?

7. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give
me a choice there, did ya buddy?

8. When something is "New &Improved". Which is it? If it's
new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

9. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast
you were going. You should know, asshole, you're the one that pulled me over.

And here's the tenth thing that really bugs me:

10. Chain letters! Who the hell thinks that by annoying other people with stupid mail with no meaning, that you will be granted a wish, or make your long-lost love fall into your arms, or have your significant other perform oral sex on demand. It's all bullshit! I'm so sure that by breaking a stupid chain letter that the computer gods are going to curse me. Oh, the terror and horror. What a crock of shit.


(I have myself covered tho posting it here)